Nobody Wants To Work In The World’s Most Popular Country

Why aren’t there zillions of highly qualified foreigners standing in line to come to live and work in Germany (but not like forever or anything if you don’t want to) as expected when the German blue card was introduced a year ago?

Blue Card

This blue card holder above (the person on the right) is only about one of only about 2500 who have expressed an interest in doing so since the card was introduced – and 70 percent of those 2500 were already living in Germany under a different status at the time of the card’s introduction.

I don’t get it. I thought Germany was so well-loved in the world and all that (there are at least 100 reasons for this I am told). There seems to be some kind of a disconnect here. Why are so many foreigners still insisting to prefer going to such yucky places like US-Amerika instead? Don’t they ever read the papers or anything? Hey, if you’re that uninformed pal, Germany probably doesn’t want you in the first place. So there.

Die meisten Blue-Card-Besitzer kamen aus Indien (1971) – gefolgt von China (775) und Russland (597). Das Bürgerkriegsland Syrien ist mit 389 Akademikern ebenfalls stark vertreten.

NSA Now Building Spy Centers All Over Everywhere Anywhere You Can Think Of In Germany As We Speak

I honestly had no idea that Germans were that interesting to spy on, but German journalists certainly seem to think they are these days.

Wiesbaden

Word is that a new and thoroughly evil spying facility is being built in Wiesbaden which will be a base for US intelligence operatives from the NSA itself.

Too bad those party poopers over at there Germany’s BND are already denying it. Not that that matters.

Nach einem Bericht der Frankfurter Rundschau soll es sich beim neuen Komplex in Wiesbaden um ein Abhörzentrum des US-Geheimdienstes NSA handeln.

Stress ohne Grund

Huh? German Rapper Bushido is going to get charges pressed against him just because he put out a song with lyrics against Klaus Wowereit and Claudia Roth (among other things)? Like, what’s wrong with that?

Bushido

I think the real reason they’re giving him trouble is because his name begins with Bush.

“Ich schieß auf Claudia Roth.”

More Cutting-Edge Berlin Fashion

And we’re really talking cutting-edge here, people.

Fashion

I think you have to have a freakin’ fashion Waffenschein (weapons permit) to wear one of those. Or at least you ought to.

Berlin Fashion Week is THE international location for fashion and lifestyle topics.

Germans Bugging Americans Now

Germans have begun bugging Americans to no end by bugging them about how bugging friends is unacceptable (OK, OK, certain Americans).

Bugging

Given the high sensitivity of data privacy issues in Germany, which bugs the hell out of everybody already, the NSA spying scandal is bound to give Germans the gift that keeps on giving them ample opportunity to continue bugging us for as long as anyone is still willing to listen and even long after anyone is not.

“Every country in the world that is engaged in international affairs of national security undertakes lots of activities to protect its national security and all kinds of information contributes to that. All I know is that is not unusual for lots of nations.”

Our CO2 Doesn’t Stink

Or maybe it’s green or something. At any rate, Germany just managed to block the adoption of new emissions limits for cars produced in the European Union. This was necessary because, well, this legislation would have handicaped Germany’s automobile industry, focused as it is on the luxury car sector.

Cars

Germany has long seen itself as a leader when it comes to efforts to reduce CO2 emissions and combat climate change. Indeed, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government remains committed to radically expanding its reliance on renewable energies in the coming decades.

But when it comes to reducing the amount of greenhouse gases German-made automobiles produce, Berlin is far less ambitious.

“It is a scandal.”

Snowden Hiding In Germany

Or maybe he isn’t. But he couldn’t have picked a better place to go underground if he is. Germany simply doesn’t exist like other places do — not online, I mean.

Google

One of my Berlin neighbors forced Google to pixelate the façade of my apartment building on its popular Street View service a few years ago in the name of Teutonic privacy. Whether I liked it or not, my home was pixel bombed into oblivion.

In fact, so many people have opted to blot out their houses that web guru Jeff Jarvis said at the time Germany had “digitally desecrated” its online landscape.

“Activists like Edward Snowden, Julian Assange and Bradley Manning need international support and our solidarity.”

Snowden: Enthüllungen von Anfang an geplant

We Looted The Loot First

The grand opening of a joint German-Russian art exhibition in St Petersburg was spoiled on Friday when Moscow objected to Angela Merkel’s plan to use her speech to refer to hundreds of looted German works of art looted by Red Army soldiers after the war.

Art

The Germans claim that some 1 million looted objects are still missing, including the Treasure of Priamos, objects looted by the Germans in Troy under the direction of Heinrich Schliemann way back in 1873.

Moscow appears to be open to compromise, but only when the Russian artworks destroyed by German troops during World War II – estimated to be more than 110m books and publications following the plundering of 427 Soviet museums and 4,000 libraries – be returned, as well.

“This is a very touchy question for the societies of both countries. We need to look for solutions, rather than inflating the problem.”

Obama’s Popularity Rating Plummets To 82 Percent In Germany

Prism

Germans are still enamored of Obama: a poll last week showed 82 percent view him favorably.

It used to be 92 percent so this must have something to do with the time he recently spent in Prism.

Just kidding. The real reason is because there are “gute Amis, böse Amis” (good Yankees and bad Yankees) and the Pres clearly belongs to the good ones, NO MATTER WHAT. I mean, this guy could rape a turtle live on “Wetten, dass..?” and nobody would find anything wrong with it (except the turtle). He’ll be back up to 92 percent here again in no time, in other words.

The bad Yankees are the awful scumbag Republican NSA types who actually did the snooping, by the way.

Damn. Speaking of snooping… He and his crew sure are cool, you’ve got to hand it to them. Even when he’s having them monitor you for your own good (and that whether you’re a tea partier or not). I think I’m going to call them the Cyber Snoop Dogg Pack from here on out. Rat Pack had already been taken.

Germans accuse U.S. of Stasi tactics before Obama visit