Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Ausländer

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!

Togetherness

SPD party whip Thomas Oppermann has found it necessary to interrupt his clearly less than busy summer vacation to explain to Germans who already know that it is the United States ITSELF that is directly responsible for the rise of the ISIS terrorist group and their atrocities in Iraq.

Oppermann

The American intervention and overthrow of Saddam Hussein ten years ago, so the reasoning goes, ruined the “togetherness” that had predominated under the peoples and religions down there up until then. While their fearless leader was still around to take care of things like togetherness and stuff like that, I mean. Whatever.

But not to worry, folks. Six (that’s the number between five and seven) German soldiers have now been sent to the area to calm things down and clean things up.

Personally, I think that this guy needs to extend his vacation another month. He’s obviously stressed out and can’t see very clearly at the moment. Not only do Germans get terribly stressed out just watching TV (while on vacation or otherwise), a new study also indicates that the enormous stress Germans are generally under can lead to vision impairment, too.

Die US-Intervention habe das Miteinander der Völker und Religionen im Irak zerstört.

Wave Of Anti-Hamas Rallies Hits Cities Across Germany

Enraged at the cowardly Hamas rocket attacks that have provoked Israel’s ground offensive into the Gaza Strip, thousands of Islamists, left-wing extremists and neo-Nazis have taken to the streets all across Germany to vent their hate by chanting clever new ant-Semitic slogans.

Israel

“Jew, Jew, cowardly swine, come out and fight on your own!” was a particularly popular one at a rally in Berlin, for instance. “Hamas, Hamas, Jews in the gas!” came in a close second, however.

It is unclear what effect these slogans have had upon the Hamas terrorists firing said rockets but it doesn’t really matter all that much because their capacity to do so is being taken away from them as you read this. Right about… Now.

“Jude, Jude, feiges Schwein, komm heraus und kämpf allein.”

We Don’t Trust That There NSA One Little Bit

But we’ll, uh, trust them this one time here, maybe.

Trains

Al Qaeda is plotting attacks on Europe’s high-speed rail network, German newspaper Bild reported on Monday, citing a leaked National Security Agency (NSA) report.

The NSA report is based on an intercepted conference call between top Al-Qaeda operatives, in which the terrorist attacks were reportedly a “central topic”.

Berlin has responded to the threat with discreet measures such as deploying plain-clothed police officers at key stations and on main routes, Bild reported.

Der Hinweis stamme vom US-Geheimdienst NSA.

Outrage: Registered

Now this is what I call a news item. Who would have thought that? The NSA, a US-Amerikan cryptologic intelligence agency expressly responsible “for the collection and analysis of foreign communications and foreign signals intelligence” has been found to be collecting and analyzing foreign signals intelligence. In ze Europe, of all places.

NSA

Europeans would never do such a thing, you see. Nor would the governments of the Netherlands, France, Germany, Spain, Italy and Britain among others ever never ever admit to having secret agreements with Washington to hand over their citizens’ private data to said agency.

Outrage: registered. Now, the issue of how far spy agencies in other countries actually knew, participated in or made use of the NSA’s surveillance program is another question entirely.

No Contradiction Here

Not for the Spiegel, anyway. At the moment they are somewhere between…

Big Brother

Obama’s Soft Totalitarianism – Europe Must Protect Itself from America

and

The German Prism: Berlin Wants to Spy Too.

For those who don’t know any better, I could see how you could imagine calling this a form of German schizophrenia. For those who do know better, that’s most definitely what you’d call it.

A monitored human being is not a free human being. And every state that systematically contravenes human rights, even in the alleged service of security, is acting criminally.

Germans See Germans Do

Shocking, these Americans and their surveillance state. It’s good to know that that kind of thing can’t happen here.

BND

Despite the scandal concerning the US spy program Prism, the Bundesnachrichtendienst (Federal Intelligence Service) is planning to monitor the Internet more thoroughly. 100 million euros are to be invested with more technical equipment and up to 100 more personnel planned.

Meanwhile… Federal Minister of the Interior Hans-Peter Friedrich (CSU) is arguing for a flight passenger security check system similar to the American model for those who enter Europe. German security services should be able to check to see “if someone is on the wanted or prosecuting authority lists” before the start of the journey.

So geht man nicht mit Freunden um, die im Kampf gegen den Terrorismus unsere wichtigsten Partner sind”, sagte der Minister der “Welt am Sonntag”. Friedrich betonte, Deutschland sei von Datenzulieferungen aus den USA abhängig. Es sei bekannt, “dass es die US-Geheimdienste sind, die uns immer wieder wichtige und richtige Hinweise gegeben haben“.

Big Obama Brother Says Chill Already

What’s all the excitement about with these NSA surveillance programs, Germany?

NSA

Your, I mean our president himself has ensured everyone everywhere that he has not become a Big Brother with eyes and ears throughout the world of online communications.

“You can’t have 100 percent security and then also have 100 percent privacy and zero inconvenience,” the Pres says. And that applies to you too, Germany. This is only for your own good, or something.

So take a chill pill already. If Obama is behind all of this then everything is fine, right? After all, you voted for him.

Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass die USA weltweit Kommunikation überwachen. Die Programme haben immer neue Namen, ob sie nun Echelon, Total Awareness oder TrailBlazer heißen. Aber ihr Ziel ist immer das gleiche: So viel wie möglich davon mitzubekommen, was Menschen miteinander reden. Nun ist es also Prism.

Germans Shocked To Learn That American Drones Are Not Being Used To Fight Graffiti

While Germans are in the process of introducing small drones to patrol railyards by night in a bid to fight graffiti spraying terrorists, many were shocked to learn that American drones (piloted by soldiers stationed in Stuttgart and Ramstein) are being used to fight terrorists of another caliber in Somalia.

Drones

This puts Germans in a moral dilemma (something they are not at all accustomed to), because this yucky business of using drones to kill people who are planning to kill you (as in you Americans) is wrong because we (as in you Americans) are somehow responsible for having turned these terrorists into terrorists in the first place and if yucky things like piloting drones absolutely positively has to take place then it should take place on American soil and nowhere near a pleasant and peaceful place like Germany were yucky things of this nature are ausgeschlossen (impossible) from the get-go. Except for a little graffiti here and there, maybe. You see, we (as in we Germans) are pacifists.

In other words go ahead if you must, but not here. Because we know nothing, Colonel Hogan, nothing!

“Die Tötung eines Tatverdächtigen mithilfe einer bewaffneten Drohne außerhalb eines bewaffneten Konflikts” könne, wenn die Bundesregierung davon wisse und nicht protestiere, die “Beteiligung an einem völkerrechtlichen Delikt sein.”

Empty Box Empty Box

Hamburg police have determined that an empty box found in a subway station just before the Hamburg Marthon was scheduled to begin turned out in fact to be an empty box.

Videoüberwachung

However, if the box had not been empty, no one would have had any video footage of the person who had placed it there because, as you can see, surveillance cameras are still black (as in evil) in Germany.

In light of the Boston Marathon bombings, a new German “debate” about increasing the number of surveillance cameras has begun once again but will lead to nowhere fast as usual.

Kurze Aufregung im Umfeld des Hamburg-Marathon: Die Polizei hat am Sonntag einen verdächtigen Gegenstand in einem U-Bahnhof in der Innenstadt untersucht.