Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Bling

October 17, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Chruch and State, Churches, Corruption, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Money, Religion, Satire, Taxation, Waste Leave a comment

I mean Tebartz-van Elst, of course.

“I got your church and state for ya right here, pal.”

What’s all the excitement about? Religious Germans contribute freely to their churches. It’s not as if the money this guy burned had been levied by taxation or anything. Uh, wait a second. OK. So I guess it had been.

Germany separates church and state much less clearly than does America but more explicitly than Anglican Britain or Orthodox Greece. Its post-war constitution, in a clause carried over verbatim from the Weimar constitution of 1919, favours no particular faith but lets all churches levy taxes on their members through the income-tax system (8% or 9% of a taxpayer’s bill, depending on the state).

With A Little Help From My Friends

October 13, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bribery, Cold War, Communism, Espionage, GDR, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties, Socialism, SPD, Stasi, Willy Brandt Leave a comment

To keep Willy Brandt as Chancellor, the GDR was prepared to bribe members of German Parliament. Brandt’s intimate friend Egon Bahr (both SPD) negotiated with a GDR mediator in 1972 about payoffs for CDU and CSU parliamentarians. This has emerged in Stasi documents available to Der Spiegel. Brandt should thereby be kept in office. Bahr was State Secretary of the Chancellery at that time.

And this is completely unrelated, of course, but for you history buffs out there: There was a very controversial Misstrauensvotum (vote of no confidence) in German Parliament back in 1972 which Willy Brandt won – with two decisive votes mysteriously missing for the conservative opposition that had proposed it.

“Das muss absolut verschwiegen bleiben.”

Lothar Matthäus Claims He Isn’t Really Dead

October 11, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Death, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Letters, Lothar Matthäus, Post Office, Promis, Satire, Soccer, Sports 1 Comment

After bringing by an ärztliches Attest (doctor’s certificate) certifying that he is “in fact like really and truly actually still alive,” ex-soccer star Lothar Matthäus has received an official apology from the otherwise infallibel Deutsche Post for returning a letter addressed to him from his ex-wife as unzustellbar (undeliverable) due to his being, well, like verstorben (deceased) already.

“Look, I’ve been dead for my ex-wife for years now, but this is taking it a little over the top, don’t you think?” the living and breathing Promi (celebrity, sort of) said, still alive and kicking.

Weil ein Brief seiner Ex-Frau Liliana nicht zugestellt werden konnte, wird der 52-Jährige kurzerhand für tot erklärt.

Time For Another European Lecture About Inhumanity?

October 6, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Africa, Barriers, Berlin, Borders, Europe, Germans, Germany, Illegal Immigration, Italy, Lampedusa 1 Comment

When it comes to that dreadful, awful and inhuman Mexico-United States border fence, I mean?

Not right now? OK, I understand. There must be more important news items to cover at the moment. But I’m sure we’ll be hearing from you in the future again.

The Mexico–United States barrier – also known in the United States as The Border Fence, Rotted Fence or Border Wall – is a collection of several barriers, designed to prevent illegal movement across the Mexico–United States border.

At Least It Wasn’t The NSA

October 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Coalition Governments, Communism, DDR, Elections, Espionage, GDR, Gregor Gysi, Humor, Ruth Kampa, Satire, Socialism, Stasi, The Left Party Leave a comment

The Unification Day celebrations are now officially over. Red-Red-Green coalition talks anyone?

Well what do you know? It turns out that the chief executive secretary of the Left Party in the Bundestag was a “top agent” of the Stasi. Sachen gibt’s die gibt’s gar nicht (what will they think up next?).

Left Party boss Gregor Gysi is absolutely shocked, of course, and just cannot understand how a person like that could infiltrate a political party like his.

But at least Left Party members are able to take solace in the fact that said agent was clearly not an insidious agent of North American imperialism (excluding Canada) and a rotten capitalistic scumbag opertive working for that reactionary bourgeois NSA spy system so in the news and up in our faces these days but rather an easy-going and progressive comrade type who was not at all forced to work for a quaint totalitarian state once located in the immediate vicinity but then inexplicably disappeared and was only trying to make the world a more, you know, social place to live

Schwerer Schlag für die Linke: Die Geschäftsführerin der Fraktion im Bundestag, Ruth Kampa, war offenbar eine Top-Agentin der Stasi. Fraktionschef Gysi will davon nichts gewusst haben.

A Tale Of Two Titles

September 30, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Chemical Weapons, Exports, Foreign Policy, German, Germans, Germany, Syria, Weapon exports, Weapons Leave a comment

Wat denn nu (well which is it then)? Which of these two headlines is correct?

“Germany offers help to Syria chemical mission”

“Germany supplied Syria with chemicals up until 2011?”

Both are, you say? OK, I get it. I mean, I kinda sorta do.

Germany is ready to give finance and technical support to the international operation to destroy Syria’s chemical weapons, Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle said on Saturday.

Green Frontman REALLY “Regrets” It

September 17, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Juergen Trittin, Paedophilia, Political Parties, The Green Shirts 3 Comments

Less than a week before the election, I mean.

Germany’s Green party is under renewed pressure to defend its stance on paedophilia in the 1980s.

In a newspaper article, the historian Franz Walter had accused the Green’s co-leader, Jürgen Trittin, of signing off a 1981 pamphlet calling to abolish the decriminalisation of sexual acts between adults and children “that occur without the use or threat of force”. In response to the revelation, politicians from the Bavarian Christian Social Union have asked Trittin to withdraw his candidacy from the upcoming election.

Trittin is quoted in the article admitting that his party had failed to block a proposal by the activist group Homosexual Campaign Göttingen for such a measure to be included in the pamphlet. He told the paper that this was “also my mistake, which I regret”.

“Die Grünen sollten darüber nachdenken, ob sie mit dieser Besetzung weiter den Wahlkampf in der letzten Woche fortsetzen.”

German And American Spies Working Together?

September 8, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, CIA, Database PX, German, Germans, Germany, Islamists, Obama, Project 6, Spies, Spy Software, Surveillance, Syria Leave a comment

When will the horror ever end?

No, I’m not talking about the radical German Islamists killing Christians in Syria. Nor am I referring to that German spy software being used the world over, either.

I’m talking about the horror of the very thought of German intelligence services having worked together with the CIA for years in a secret anti-terror unit named “Project 6” in Neuss. And get this: In 2010 their focus actually briefly turned to a German journalist! We’re talking horror here, people.

Deutsche Nachrichtendienste und die CIA haben nach SPIEGEL-Informationen jahrelang eine geheime Anti-Terror-Einheit mit dem Namen “Projekt 6” in Neuss betrieben. Herzstück war die gemeinsame Datenbank PX. Im Jahr 2010 geriet ein deutscher Journalist in den Fokus.

PS: I never realized…

WikiLeaks Leak Leaked To US Intelligence Before Leak Could Be Properly Leaked

September 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Julian Assange, Justice, Law, Moralists, Satire, Treachery, Wikileaks Leave a comment

Or so claims that anything but courageous fighter for selective justice and phoney moralist-snitch-nerd-global-poster-boy Julian Assange HIMSELF.

And that is why he is now blowing the whistle yet again, only this time from his self-imposed exile in an Ecuadorian Embassy cell, and has made a criminal complaint with the German Federal Prosecutor’s Office in Karlsruhe.

He believes that an evil ex-US Marine Corps spy guy dude pre-leaked his leak while Assange was visiting a “Chaos Computer Club” convention in Berlin back in 2009. And this is just plain not fair, I guess. And leak-worthy in and of itself.

Nach Darstellung des NDR und Süddeutscher Zeitung soll Assange in seiner Strafanzeige den Bundesanwälten angeboten haben, sich per Video zu dem Vorgang vernehmen zu lassen.

And This Year’s Winner Of The German Spitzel, Spy And Whistleblower Award Goes To…

September 1, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Awards, German, Germans, Germany, Heros, Humor, NSA, PRISM, Satire, Spies, Spitzel, Surveillance, Traitors Leave a comment

When you get the top award in the category of Best Informant from a country like Germany, you know you have most definitley reached the top of your game.

And so it comes as no surprise to most Hollywood award-watchers out there that Edward Snowden has just received the German “Whistleblower Prize” in recognition of his “bold efforts” to expose the monitoring of communications data by his trusted, I mean trusting employer.

As we all know, Germany enjoys an incredibly long and rich tradition of abusing individual freedoms, usually in the form of “Spitzel” or spying activity practised between private individuals, regardless of the current political or totalitarian system they may find themselves in, so this prestigeous award immediately skyrockets Snowden to the exalted ranks of the top double-crossing turncoats of recent German, if not world history.

Snowden himself was speechless. But this was mostly because he was not available for comment, nor will he be able to pick up said award for some strange reason, but still.

“Wir sind Edward Snowden außerordentlich dankbar.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habeas Corpus