Category Archives: Habitudes

NATO Picking On Russia Again

June 19, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And warmongering. Just ask German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD).

NATO

“What we should not do now is inflame the situation with sabre-rattling and warmongering,” he said. The “situation” being Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its continued military intervention in Ukraine, which is apparently something other than sabre-rattling and warmongering when viewed from Berlin.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East. But despite all the rhetoric, the German foreign ministry assures the world that Germany’s mighty army, a formidable threat to Russia, will be there for its allies whenever it should be needed.

Was wir jetzt nicht tun sollten, ist durch lautes Säbelrasseln und Kriegsgeheul die Lage weiter anzuheizen.

More Gun Control Needed

June 13, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

In Germany.

Gun Control

The citizens of this predominantly pacifist nation still refuse to address this very grave issue (no pun intended) in any meaningful way and therefore remain the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms.* Again and again and again. Like, when will they ever learn?

The only nations that export more arms than the Germans are US-Amerika and Russia, much more violent and less enlightened societies that have not yet learned to make atonement for their dreadful, awful pasts like Germany has – thus making it OK for them to be the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms, I assume. Es ist einfach kompliziert (it’s simply complicated) over here sometimes. No, make that all the time.

Die umstrittenen Lieferungen an Saudi-Arabien haben dazu beigetragen, dass Deutschland 2015 drittgrößter Waffenexporteur war.

*And tanks. And submarines. You know. And other stuff like that?

Confused Green Youth These Days

June 12, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

Greens

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

Flags

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!

German Olympic Chief Shocked That Russian Athletes Dope

June 9, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Systematically, I mean.

A German broadcast alleging the Russian state helped cover-up sports doping has been described as “shocking” by German Olympic sports head Michael Vesper.

Dope

In all fairness, however, it should be noted that Mr. Vesper was also shocked to find out that Bill Gates is rich, the Pope is a Catholic and bears shit in the woods. Like, uh, what kind of dope is this guy on? And where can I get some?

“Ich finde den Film schockierend. Er zeigt: Doping zerstört das Ansehen des Sports, das Vertrauen in den Sport, die Werte des Sports und die Sportler, die es nehmen.”

German Of The Day: Sprengstoffweste

June 7, 2016 By in Habitudes, High Art, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

That means explosive vest. You know, the kind your run-of-the-mill German industrial metal pyrotechnical hard rock bands use these days?

Rammstein

Damn. This gives pop culture a whole new meaning.

The German shock-rockers have launched their world tour with a bang, with frontman Til Lindemann donning an explosive vest at a Vienna concert. Rammstein are headlining top festivals from Moscow to Buenos Aires.

“Ich muss zerstören, doch es darf nicht mir gehören.”

German Of The Day: Frontstadt

June 5, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means a city on the front or on the front-line. You know, like the Berlin of today?

Berlin

Or at least that’s what certain people here in town seem to think about it. Some are even calling it a failed state.

Take a deep breath here now. They don’t really mean that, of course, but in terms of an upcoming city election the situation here is pretty dramatic for a large number of Berliners who might want to vote. Due to the continued chaos at the various Bürgerämter (citizen’s offices) throughout the various districts of the city (unbelievable waiting times for appointments being the main problem here) it is estimated that some 280,000 new and newly-moved Berliners will not be able to register to vote in time. They are now being encouraged to contest the results of any election they were not able to take part in.

One election researcher says that the last time Germany experienced this kind of chaos was shortly after World War II.

Ein Wahlforscher sagt, dass es ein derartiges Chaos in Deutschland zuletzt kurz nach dem Zweiten Weltkrieg gegeben habe. Berlin ist wieder Frontstadt, erfreulicherweise ohne Bombardements.

German Of The Day: Geschichtskompensatorische Moralüberhebung

May 29, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A prime example of how Germans can just create cool new words/concepts at will, this means, I think, the morally overbearing attempt (by Germans) to compensate for their history. Think of this within the context of the current refugee crisis, if you please.

History

Germany’s new weight in the world is provocative but when German politicians attempt to deny its existence and try to flee instead back to their “dealing with the past”-policy (Vergangenheitspolitik) they irritate all the more.

Germany’s refugee policy is a textbook example of this German sickness (according to Heinrich August Winkler), a separate path (Sonderweg) par excellence. The federal government is now completely isolated, ergo its policy has also been refuted. And the motive behind this German madness lies in – what else? In its overbearing attempt to compensate for history.

Deutschlands neue Größe provoziert, doch wenn deutsche Politik diese neue Größe verleugnet und sich stattdessen in ihre Vergangenheitspolitik flüchtet, dann provoziert das noch mehr.

Die deutsche Flüchtlingspolitik ist für Heinrich August Winkler nun ein Lehrbuchfall deutscher Krankheit, ein Sonderweg quasi wie gemalt. Denn die Bundesregierung sei völlig isoliert, ergo auch widerlegt. Und das Motiv für diesen deutschen Irrsinn liege – wo sonst?! – in geschichtskompensatorischer Moralüberhebung.

PS: And who says the Left can’t have it’s cake and eat it, too?

EU Demands 20% Steaming Crap Quota

May 25, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Sorry. I meant streaming crap quota, of course. You know, when it comes to what Netflix and Amazon Prime is allowed to offer its customers here in Europe?

Film

That’s right. The European Commission is planning to introduce a quota ensuring that at least 20 percent of the content offered by Netflix and Amazon Prime are European productions. This “identity-building measure” is necessary, the commissioners say, in order to, well, build identity (the European Commission’s identity?) and of course to continue to protect films and series that nobody wants or intends to watch but to keep on subsidizing anyway (“culture” in ze Europe is regulated by unelected state bureaucrats who know better than you and are here to help you whether you want their help or not  and not by yucky old and vulgar supply and demand – just in case you were wondering).

“Wir halten 20 Prozent für sehr maßvoll.”

Germany Leading From Behind

May 24, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

While going in the wrong direction. With lots of wind in its face.

Energy

At one point this month renewable energy sources briefly supplied close to 90 percent of the power on Germany’s electric grid. But that doesn’t mean the world’s fourth-largest economy is close to being run on zero-carbon electricity. In fact, Germany is giving the rest of the world a lesson in just how much can go wrong when you try to reduce carbon emissions solely by installing lots of wind and solar.

After years of declines, Germany’s carbon emissions rose slightly in 2015, largely because the country produces more electricity than it needs. That’s happening because even if there are times when renewables can supply nearly all of the electricity on the grid, the variability of those sources forces Germany to keep other power plants running. And in Germany, which is phasing out its nuclear plants, those other plants primarily burn dirty coal.

Bayern Munich Wins DFB Cup For The 2,397th Time

May 22, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

What a surprise or something. And right here in Berlin, too. And that after another fascinating goalless finish in normal time. I got lucky, though. I only injured my forehead twice (slightly) nodding off during the match.

Hummels

Bayern management has already announced plans to celebrate the occasion by buying the next best Borussia Dortmund superstar money can buy. If there are still any left that they haven’t bought already, I mean. You know, the rich get richer and all that?

Während Bayerns Thomas Müller im Pokalfinale einfach “die Eier in die Hand” nimmt, versagen Borussia Dortmund im Elfmeterschießen die Nerven. Das nächste Titeltrauma veranlasst BVB-Coach Tuchel zu einem Feuerwerk der Selbstkritik – inklusive einer verbalen Abschieds-Ohrfeige für Mats Hummels.