Teachers in Germany have set off a national controversy after they boycotted their own school’s leavers’ ceremony in protest at a Muslim pupil who refused to shake hands with a female member of staff.
“We are considering how we can send a signal that we do not tolerate such behavior.”
But at least the politicians (SPD) who introduced it can claim to have done something in reaction to the infamous New Year’s Eve attacks. No one has been sentenced for any of these attacks, by the way. Just so you get where I’m coming from.
Introducing new legislation like this doesn’t solve the problem unless the laws are actually enforced. It’s a mentality thing. Judges here in Germany, like judges in another country many of you are familiar with, are simply much too lenient when it comes to their interpretation of the law and their sentencing. They will be just as lenient with the new law as they were with the old one. But boy oh boy is this new law ever strict or something. “No” actually means “no” now. As if it had meant something else before.
The wave of attacks on New Year’s Eve in Cologne shocked Germans, though prosecutions have been minimal and many were aghast to learn that, once again, assault could only be proven under German law if the victim resisted. On Thursday, a 21-year-old Iraqi and an Algerian of 26 became the first men to be convicted of sexual assault when a Cologne court gave them suspended one-year sentences.
Butt naked. In Germany of all places. The nerve. Is nothing sacred?
In the latest example of the German habit of seeking legal rulings on the tiniest details of every day life, a man has won a case over the right to walk to the sauna in his garden in the altogether.
The 42-year-old, named only as Robert B under German privacy laws, installed a private sauna in his garden in Dortmund.
In common with most Germans, Robert B liked to take his sauna naked, and didn’t bother covering up on his way to and from the house, despite the fact he could be clearly seen from the next door garden.
His neigbour, named only as Hans L, was sufficiently offended at the sight to seek legal redress, and initially won a court order for Robert B to cover up.
But Robert B appealed against the decision, and this week succeeded in securing his right to parade around his garden in a state of undress.
Die Rechtslage war bisher nicht eindeutig. Infrage kommt § 118 des Ordnungswidrigkeitengesetzes. Darin heißt es: “Ordnungswidrig handelt, wer eine grob ungehörige Handlung vornimmt, die geeignet ist, die Allgemeinheit zu belästigen oder zu gefährden und die öffentliche Ordnung zu beeinträchtigen.”
They must be. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so delusional about thinking that they could ever have the bittiest little chance of getting a permanent seat on the UN Security Council.
I don’t know what German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD) has been smoking these past few days but he has certainly been on a roll. This is the same guy, mind you, who just accused the NATO of warmongering by staging military exercises in support of its eastern NATO members (they appear to be concerned about some other types of exercises being carried out by another way big non-NATO country just a bit further down the road).
And now he thinks that a toothless, nay-saying nation like Germany somehow has the right to determine policy in the body that is at least nominally charged with the maintenance of international peace and security? Like I said. It must be some really good stuff.
Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East.
That means unemployed. You know, like this loser of a European Football Championship koala oracle at the Leipzig Zoo?
„Oobi-Ooobi’s” job was to predict the outcome of the German team’s soccer matches and after two big flops in a row they fired his furry Australian ass. Dumb animal You have to perform over here in this part of the world, pal. And there is no such thing as free eucalyptus.
„Der unparteiische Australier zieht die Konsequenzen aus seinen beiden falschen Tipps. Als sportlich fairer Verlierer überlässt er das Orakeln ab sofort den Anderen.“
And warmongering. Just ask German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD).
“What we should not do now is inflame the situation with sabre-rattling and warmongering,” he said. The “situation” being Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its continued military intervention in Ukraine, which is apparently something other than sabre-rattling and warmongering when viewed from Berlin.
Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East. But despite all the rhetoric, the German foreign ministry assures the world that Germany’s mighty army, a formidable threat to Russia, will be there for its allies whenever it should be needed.
Was wir jetzt nicht tun sollten, ist durch lautes Säbelrasseln und Kriegsgeheul die Lage weiter anzuheizen.
In Germany.
The citizens of this predominantly pacifist nation still refuse to address this very grave issue (no pun intended) in any meaningful way and therefore remain the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms.* Again and again and again. Like, when will they ever learn?
The only nations that export more arms than the Germans are US-Amerika and Russia, much more violent and less enlightened societies that have not yet learned to make atonement for their dreadful, awful pasts like Germany has – thus making it OK for them to be the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms, I assume. Es ist einfach kompliziert (it’s simply complicated) over here sometimes. No, make that all the time.
Die umstrittenen Lieferungen an Saudi-Arabien haben dazu beigetragen, dass Deutschland 2015 drittgrößter Waffenexporteur war.
*And tanks. And submarines. You know. And other stuff like that?
We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.
But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!
How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.
“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”
PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!
Systematically, I mean.
A German broadcast alleging the Russian state helped cover-up sports doping has been described as “shocking” by German Olympic sports head Michael Vesper.
In all fairness, however, it should be noted that Mr. Vesper was also shocked to find out that Bill Gates is rich, the Pope is a Catholic and bears shit in the woods. Like, uh, what kind of dope is this guy on? And where can I get some?
“Ich finde den Film schockierend. Er zeigt: Doping zerstört das Ansehen des Sports, das Vertrauen in den Sport, die Werte des Sports und die Sportler, die es nehmen.”
That means explosive vest. You know, the kind your run-of-the-mill German industrial metal pyrotechnical hard rock bands use these days?
Damn. This gives pop culture a whole new meaning.
The German shock-rockers have launched their world tour with a bang, with frontman Til Lindemann donning an explosive vest at a Vienna concert. Rammstein are headlining top festivals from Moscow to Buenos Aires.
“Ich muss zerstören, doch es darf nicht mir gehören.”
Observing Hermann 