Amateur Climate Scientist Puzzled How Earth’s CO2 Got To Mars

May 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hideology, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Climate Change, CO2, Global warming, Mars, Science Leave a comment

That’s right. I’m going to do a little amateur science today for once already if you don’t mind thank you.

I mean, I’m puzzled or something. If human CO2 emissions are the cause of climate change here on Planet Earth today (this is at least what folks here in Germany tell me every freakin’ day) and a similar type of climate change took place long ago on Mars as well (there used to be a lot more ice there a few hundred thousand years ago, you see) then how on Earth did we on Earth manage to transport our human CO2 emissions back through time and space to Mars to cause that Martian climate change in the first place and like not even be aware that we were were doing it or even how we were doing it and still aren’t for that matter? I’m just asking.

Is that creepy or eerie or what? Otherworldly, how insidious and tricky these human CO2 emissions can be these days.

Klimawandel gibt es auch auf unserem Nachbarplaneten Mars.

EU Demands 20% Steaming Crap Quota

May 25, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Amazon Prime, Bureaucracy, EU, Germany, Interventionism, Netflix, Quotas, Regulation, Streaming 1 Comment

Sorry. I meant streaming crap quota, of course. You know, when it comes to what Netflix and Amazon Prime is allowed to offer its customers here in Europe?

That’s right. The European Commission is planning to introduce a quota ensuring that at least 20 percent of the content offered by Netflix and Amazon Prime are European productions. This “identity-building measure” is necessary, the commissioners say, in order to, well, build identity (the European Commission’s identity?) and of course to continue to protect films and series that nobody wants or intends to watch but to keep on subsidizing anyway (“culture” in ze Europe is regulated by unelected state bureaucrats who know better than you and are here to help you whether you want their help or not and not by yucky old and vulgar supply and demand – just in case you were wondering).

“Wir halten 20 Prozent für sehr maßvoll.”

Germany Leading From Behind

May 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Coal, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear power, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

While going in the wrong direction. With lots of wind in its face.

At one point this month renewable energy sources briefly supplied close to 90 percent of the power on Germany’s electric grid. But that doesn’t mean the world’s fourth-largest economy is close to being run on zero-carbon electricity. In fact, Germany is giving the rest of the world a lesson in just how much can go wrong when you try to reduce carbon emissions solely by installing lots of wind and solar.

After years of declines, Germany’s carbon emissions rose slightly in 2015, largely because the country produces more electricity than it needs. That’s happening because even if there are times when renewables can supply nearly all of the electricity on the grid, the variability of those sources forces Germany to keep other power plants running. And in Germany, which is phasing out its nuclear plants, those other plants primarily burn dirty coal.

Monsanto Not Nearly As Evil As It Was Just A Few Hours Ago

May 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bayer, German, Germans, Germany, Monsanto, Reputation, The Green Shirts 2 Comments

That’s because a German company is now trying to buy it (although they do appear to be choking on it at the moment). Germans are like Green with a capital G or something, you see.

It (Monsanto) has been characterized variously as sinister, evil and a corporate bully. Surveys rank it among the most hated companies in America. And now Bayer AG wants to buy it…

“Monsanto has been better defined by the critics than they should’ve been. We see often times a company has a terrible reputation that often is not that they’ve done something horrendously bad. They’ve just let others define them.”

Von Monstermais und Frankenfood: Die Welt hat sich verändert. Vor hundert Jahren ernteten Getreidebauern in Deutschland je Hektar kaum ein Viertel der Menge, die die Landwirte heute einfahren.

Renewable Energy Actually Works In Germany

May 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

But only if it stays REALLY sunny and REALLY windy ALL the time. Like even at night.

For those of us who live here, well… Let’s just say that they’re still working on that part.

Germany hit an incredible new high in renewable energy generation at the weekend – pushing power prices into the negative and allowing consumers to get paid to consume electricity.

At one point, the sunny and windy day weather propelling its solar plants and wind turbines supplied 87 percent of the power being consumed.

Meanwhile… Solarworld verdoppelt Verluste.

Many Germans Feeling Ill Already

May 4, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Health, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Dope, German, Germans, Germany, Grass, Law, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Medicine, Pot, Puns 1 Comment

Germany will legalise medical cannabis in early 2017.

Now the government just has to figure out how to grow the stuff – The ultimate goal of German health authorities is to grow medical marijuana on German soil at specially approved sites.

It is a high art, after all. And knowing how our half-baked buds in government regularly blow things sky high, the whole thing might just end up going to pot. I bet you it’s going to toke them forever to sucseed, in other words.

Um die Versorgung mit Cannabis in kontrollierter Qualität sicherzustellen, will die Regierung den Anbau der Droge zu medizinischen Zwecken unter staatlicher Kontrolle ermöglichen. Über den Anbau wacht das Bundesinstitut für Arzneimittel und Medizinprodukte.

Temporary Border Controls To Be Temporarily Extended Until Next Temporary Border Control Extension

May 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Austria, Borders, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Mitrants, Refugees Leave a comment

Finally “getting it” at long last, Germany will now ask the European Commission to allow it to extend the temporary border controls it too has imposed in the Schengen zone beyond mid-May, “provided we are able to say that the European Commission said we could do this just in case anybody asks,” an unnamed German official said on Saturday.

Germany took in more than one million migrants last year. But the number of arrivals has slowed significantly after border clampdowns were imposed by Austria and other countries along the migrants’ main Balkans route northwards from Greece.

“Even if the refugee situation has eased at internal borders along the West Balkan route, we look with concern at the developments on the external borders of the Union.”

Germany To Receive Electroshock Therapy

April 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Automobiles, Electric Cars, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Subsidies Leave a comment

In another electrifying example of tax dollar waste (or in this case tax euro waste), Angela Merkel’s government has just made a deal with automakers to spend some 1.2 billion euros on incentives to boost sluggish electric car sales in Germany.

“The goal is to move forward as quickly as possible on electric vehicles,” one high-ranking government official said while attaching the electrodes to the German nation’s sweaty forehead. “With this, we are giving an impetus.”

And if that first shock doesn’t work, who cares? This is renewable energy they’re using here, folks.

Just over 30,000 electric vehicles, which are more expensive than conventional models, have been sold in Germany. That’s a tiny fraction of the more than 3 million cars bought each year in a country which has historically leaned on diesel technology to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions.

German Of The Day: Fiasko

April 14, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Government Interference, Interventionism, Renewable energy, Taxation, Waste, Wind Energy Leave a comment

That means fiasco. You know, like the state-ordained Energiewende?

Berlin likes to think of itself as a green-energy example to the rest of the world. It sure is.

It makes you wonder if there’s any form of energy-price signal that governments won’t ignore. Germany’s 16-year-old Energiewende, or energy transformation, already has wrecked the country’s energy market in its quest to wean the economy off fossil fuels and nuclear power. Traditional power plants, including those that burn cleaner gas, have been closing left and right while soaring electricity prices push industries overseas and bankrupt households. Job losses run to the tens of thousands.

But now Berlin is going to fix all of this – again.

Derzeit gehe der Ausbau zu schnell und werde zu erheblichen Mehrkosten bei der Umlage zur Ökostrom-Förderung führen.

Veil, What Will They Think Of Next?

April 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hotness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Advertising, Bans, Censorship, Cologne, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Muslims, Nanny State, Political correctness, Refugees, Sex, Sexuality, SPD, Veils, Women 1 Comment

Veiling German women? What a tremendous waste of natural resources that would be.

German Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) said the move to ban ads which “reduce women or men to sexual objects” is an attempt to create a “modern gender image”.

The important thing to note here folks are the three letters S, P and D. Support for Germany’s Social Democratic party has now slumpted to an all-time historical-like low (around 20 percent). But now, at the very latest, we at least understand why.

The plan has been called political correctness gone mad by its critics, who said it was the first step towards a “nanny state”. It comes following a controversy over claims made by a senior politician that schools and canteens in Germany are ‘banning’ the serving of pork to avoid offending Muslim migrants.

“To demand the veiling of women or taming of men, is something known among radical Islamic religious leaders, but not from the German minister of justice.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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