We Don’t Do Humility

April 5, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Guilt, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Nuclear weapons, Poetry, World War II 1 Comment

We self-righteous high priests of the German political left, I mean. It’s just not our thing.

But what we do do is regularly transform a little imaginary something we call “collective guilt” (World War II guilt, there is no such thing as Communist East Germany guilt) into new products (poems) with new perpetrators (Israel) which we market at irregular intervals to cover our countrymen’s never-ending demand for ritual redemption which of course will never be satisfied, or so we lead them (and us) to believe.

“Membership in the Waffen-SS is normally not a great beginning for a career as keeper of the global conscience. Were I to have joined the Nazi military at age 15, I too would likely be a bit wary of criticizing Holocaust survivors. But that is exactly the problem: Humility was never Grass’ thing. His expertise lies more in self-righteousness.”

An Old School German Intellectual Poetry Attack Par Excellence

April 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Democracy, Dictatorships, Günter Grass, German, Germans, Germany, Intellectuals, Iran, Israel, Left-Wing Intellectuals, Literature, Political correctness, Self-Defense, The Nobel Prize 3 Comments

Günter Grass has it all: That fat and sassy moral high ground he’s king of the hill of, that left-wing obsession for defending brutal regimes in the name of “world peace,” that Nobel Prize for literature and that SPD party membership book (I’m not sure which one gives him more legitimacy here).

But above all else, he’s got that which all successful peacenik artists and Künstler the world over must invariably have: That inability to keep their mouths shut when it comes to addressing issues they clearly know nothing about.

At the moment Grass is worried about how “the nuclear power Israel is endangering the already fragile world peace” (think Iran) and has written a shockingly predictable poem about it. It must be a real humdinger, too, but to be fair I must admit that I haven’t read it yet and most certainly never will because I’m waiting to read his poem about Iran’s threat to world peace first. I assume that he will publish that one next week, but you know what they say about when you assume things… Blah, blah, blah. Meet the new school. Same as the old school.

Israel currently has three Dolphin submarines from Germany – one half-funded and two entirely funded by Berlin – two more are currently under construction, and the contract for a sixth submarine was signed last month. Dolphin-class submarines can carry nuclear-tipped missiles, but there is no evidence Israel has armed them with such weapons.

Artistic Productions Like This Cost Money You Know

March 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Art, Artists, Berlin, Culture, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Kunst, Scams, Subsidies Leave a comment

We’re artists. So give us your, I mean our money.

This is what Germans get for a billion euros of arts subsidies each and every year. Jiminy Crickets. I don’t even want to think about what they’d be getting for less.

Please, Berlin. For the love of all that is holy freakin’ cow. Keep those subsidies coming.

“Der Kulturinfarkt: Von allem zu viel und überall das Gleiche.”

Remember The Ozone Hole?

March 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, CFC, CO2, Funding, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Humor, Ozone, Research, Research Funding, Satire, Scams, Science, The Kyoto Protocol, The Montreal Protocol, The Ozone Hole, The Ozone Layer, Weird Science Leave a comment

We were just kidding.

No, seriously. Something called the Montreal Protocol just saved the world as we know it from most certain destruction, bringing about a “healing of the ozone layer” and thus reducing our exposure to harmful UV rays from the sun which was being caused by, well, refrigerators and aerosol spray cans. Just like that. Almost as if by magic or something.

A German research institute has even confirmed this wonderful news, so you can bet that it’s for real (Germans are very thorough, you know). And said German research institute, like all those other research institutes out there, is being completely objective here and has in no way profited from the research funds given it to research said ozone hole phenomena and only böse Zungen (malicious tongues) would suggest otherwise.

The underlying message here: To rid the world of all manner of unpleasantness and harmful gas, both hot and cold, all we need are more protocols (like Montreal or Kyoto, say), and not less. Or fewer, I mean. And more funding, of course.

“The results are encouraging. The fact that the ozone layer in the regions researched has become thicker is a result of the successful Montreal Protocol.”

Sandra Bullock’s Chinese Rocks

February 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Higher Education, Humor Tags: Academy Awards, Berlin, Chines, Foreign Languages, German, Germans, Germany, Hollywood, Humor, Language, Languages, Satire, Stars 3 Comments

Cut The Loses And Run

February 22, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Solar Power, Subsidies, Technology 1 Comment

The German government is about to cut solar subsidies by 30%.

Despite the massive investment, solar power accounts for only about 0.3% of Germany’s total energy. This is one of the key reasons why Germans now pay the second-highest price for electricity in the developed world (exceeded only by Denmark, which aims to be the “world wind-energy champion”).

According to Der Spiegel, even members of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s staff are now describing the policy as a massive money pit. Philipp Rösler, Germany’s Minister of Economics and Technology, has called the spiralling solar subsidies a “threat to the economy.”

This Is An Anglicism

February 13, 2012 By Hermann Observer in High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berlin, English, Expressions, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Language, Satire, Science, Words 4 Comments

Not an Americanismcism, OK?

Those filthy-mouthed British. “Shitstorm” just won Germany’s Anglicism of the Year award (2011). Wow. I wonder if “Crap Tornado” came in second?

The punchline: “The jury’s decision is meant to emphasize the positive influence of English on the German language.” I don’t make this stuff up, people.

Mit der Wahl will die Jury den positiven Einfluss von englischen Ausdrücken auf die deutsche Sprache hervorheben.

Bad Scientists, Bad!

February 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Hysteria Tags: AGW, Berlin, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Science, The Green Shirts 4 Comments

Even German scientists can reach a saturation point when it comes to all that incredible global climate change hype still blowing in the wind out there.

Normally more than willing to dutifully follow the party line (and the Party is always right, I mean left), two German green-as-they-get researchers have taken the leap and jumped ship to defect to the West, I mean to the dark side. Basically, they think that more CO2 will have little to no effect on the overall climate. This is indefensible, inexcusable, reprehensible and unjustifiable, of course. So now they must die or something.

“One of the fathers of Germany’s modern green movement, Professor Dr. Fritz Vahrenholt, a social democrat and green activist, decided to author a climate science skeptical book together with geologist/paleontologist Dr. Sebastian Lüning. Vahrenholt’s skepticism started when he was asked to review an IPCC report on renewable energy. He found hundreds of errors. When he pointed them out, IPCC officials simply brushed them aside. Stunned, he asked himself, “Is this the way they approached the climate assessment reports?”

Vahrenholt decided to do some digging. His colleague Dr. Lüning also gave him a copy of Andrew Montford’s The Hockey Stick Illusion. He was horrified by the sloppiness and deception he found. Persuaded by Hoffmann & Campe, he and Lüning decided to write the book. Die kalte Sonne cites 800 sources and has over 80 charts and figures. It examines and summarizes the latest science.

Skeptic readers should not think that the book will fortify their existing skepticism of CO2 causing warming. The authors agree it does. but have major qualms about the assumed positive CO2-related feed-backs and believe the sun plays a far greater role in the whole scheme of things.”

Daher treibe ihn als Vorsitzender der Geschäftsführung die Sorge um, dass die Menschen zur gleichen Erkenntnis bei erneuerbaren Energien kommen, wie es jüngst bei der Atomkraft war. “Wenn die Leute merken, dass die Warnungen vor dem Klimawandel stark überzogen sind und der Treibhausgasausstoß nicht die ihm zugeschriebene überragende Rolle spielt, könnten sie sich von den erneuerbaren Energien abwenden”, führt er aus.

There Does Bear A Certain Resemblance

January 11, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Higher Education, Hypocrisy Tags: Actors, Angela Merkel, Berlin, Film, George Clooney, German, Germans, Germany, Hollywood, Humor, Politics, Satire 4 Comments

I always knew that I never liked George Clooney and I thought I knew why (he makes such lousy movies), but this latest comment of his has made me reevaluate my opinion.

He announced that he would like to play the role of Angela Merkel, if anybody would ever offer it to him, because “I‘ve always wanted to be like a small German woman.”

No, I don’t know what that was supposed to mean, either.

And no, it’s not just his films anymore, nor his boring pacifism and human rights concerns or his inane and poorly acted political morality made in Hollywood that gets my goat this time, it’s the fact that he clearly wants to dress up like a woman (albeit as one who wears pant suits all the time) and just doesn’t have the guts to do so.

And here I thought the guy prided himself in having a little integrity. Puh-shaw.

“Fast jeder hat doch mal einen Joint oder eine Wasserpfeife geraucht.”

Politically Incorrect Incorrectness (Correctness?)

January 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Islamification, Politically Incorrect, Satire Leave a comment

As you may be aware of, if you take a critical stance toward Islam in and/or the Islamification of Germany, you are a very way bad person indeed and may even be what some here would call an intolerant and politically incorrect dirt ball.

But if you call yourself Politically Incorrect (PI) to begin with and make a big deal about thinking that way REAL LOUD then you’ve been outed for good and will eventually end up with the German Verfassungsschutz (Office for Constitutional Protection) on your tail.

That’s happening now, for no particular reason as far as I can see, other than the folks at the Verfassungsschutz suddenly have the need to think that the free-speaking Politically Correct just developed a dangerous and “disturbed relationship with the constitutional state.” That certainly took them awhile. PI has been around for years and hasn’t pulled any punches yet. Hmmm, and here I thought that free speech was as constitutional as apple PI, I mean pie, I mean Apfelkuchen.

Es gebe Anhaltspunkte dafür, dass etwa die Betreiber antimuslimischer Internetseiten “ein gestörtes Verhältnis zum demokratischen Rechtsstaat” hätten.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Higher Education