We Looted The Loot First

June 23, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Art, Art Theft, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Kunst, Loot, Moscow, Museums, Russia, Satire, World War II Leave a comment

The grand opening of a joint German-Russian art exhibition in St Petersburg was spoiled on Friday when Moscow objected to Angela Merkel’s plan to use her speech to refer to hundreds of looted German works of art looted by Red Army soldiers after the war.

The Germans claim that some 1 million looted objects are still missing, including the Treasure of Priamos, objects looted by the Germans in Troy under the direction of Heinrich Schliemann way back in 1873.

Moscow appears to be open to compromise, but only when the Russian artworks destroyed by German troops during World War II – estimated to be more than 110m books and publications following the plundering of 427 Soviet museums and 4,000 libraries – be returned, as well.

“This is a very touchy question for the societies of both countries. We need to look for solutions, rather than inflating the problem.”

No Contradiction Here

June 17, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Obama, Paranoia, PRISM, Psychology, Schizophrenia, Spying, Terrorism Leave a comment

Not for the Spiegel, anyway. At the moment they are somewhere between…

Obama’s Soft Totalitarianism – Europe Must Protect Itself from America

and

The German Prism: Berlin Wants to Spy Too.

For those who don’t know any better, I could see how you could imagine calling this a form of German schizophrenia. For those who do know better, that’s most definitely what you’d call it.

A monitored human being is not a free human being. And every state that systematically contravenes human rights, even in the alleged service of security, is acting criminally.

Germans See Germans Do

June 16, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, BND, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, PRISM, Security, Spying, Surveillance, Terrorism 1 Comment

Shocking, these Americans and their surveillance state. It’s good to know that that kind of thing can’t happen here.

Despite the scandal concerning the US spy program Prism, the Bundesnachrichtendienst (Federal Intelligence Service) is planning to monitor the Internet more thoroughly. 100 million euros are to be invested with more technical equipment and up to 100 more personnel planned.

Meanwhile… Federal Minister of the Interior Hans-Peter Friedrich (CSU) is arguing for a flight passenger security check system similar to the American model for those who enter Europe. German security services should be able to check to see “if someone is on the wanted or prosecuting authority lists” before the start of the journey.

“So geht man nicht mit Freunden um, die im Kampf gegen den Terrorismus unsere wichtigsten Partner sind”, sagte der Minister der “Welt am Sonntag”. Friedrich betonte, Deutschland sei von Datenzulieferungen aus den USA abhängig. Es sei bekannt, “dass es die US-Geheimdienste sind, die uns immer wieder wichtige und richtige Hinweise gegeben haben“.

Black Workers Are Everywhere These Days

June 13, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Black Market, Economy, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Government Interference, Illegal Employment, Regulation, Schwarzarbeit, Taxation, Taxes, Undocumented Workers Leave a comment

No, not Afro-American workers. You know, Schwarzarbeiter (illegal workers).

And they’re everywhere all over Europe these days, although Germany is the champion here again too, as usual.

Eight million Germans are working on the black market as we speak, so-to-speak, generating about 13 percent of the country’s economic output. And loving it, I hope for them, because many of them just don’t seem to have any choice in the matter. Nobody will hire them otherwise:

Punitive tax regimes, increased labor market regulation and a growing lack of trust in governments are causing many Europeans to abandon formal employment and enter into the murky, illicit world of shadow economies worth billions of dollars.

Unternehmen und Arbeitnehmer setzen auf Schwarzarbeit, dadurch entstehen zwei Drittel des Schadens. Für das weitere Drittel ist verantwortlich, dass viele zu geringe Einkommen und Erträge ausweisen.

Germans Pissed Off At Natural Catastrophe

June 10, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Climate, Environment, Flooding, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Natural Catastrophes, Nature, Rain, Weather 1 Comment

Who’s in charge of this flood, anyway? Many wet Germans have begun asking themselves and others this question as the worst flooding the country has seen in over a decade moves northward through the country but not nearly fast enough if you ask them.

Normally in rapture with everything and anything that has to do with nature and the natural environment, this flood is the second Jahrhundertflut (flood of the century) within the past 12 years and patience for this excessive outpouring of nature’s splendor is rapidly wearing thin.

Germans simply cannot stand things that are not planned well, you see, and this cataclysmic inundation was clearly an organizational nightmare right from the start. The flood waters refused to stay in designated tributaries and caused chaos and hurt feelings pretty much right from day one as the rainfall that caused the flooding came all at once. Causing the flooding. Like I said.

The responsible party for this natural catastrophe has yet to be located (except for the usual suspect global warming, yawn, but that doesn’t really count because global warming is responsible for everything), but when he or she is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Piss off!”

Tugendterror

June 9, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, Fast Food, Free Choice, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Living, Paternalism, Political correctness, Political Parties, Socialism, SPD, Taxation, Tutelage Leave a comment

Or “virtue/politically correct terror,” if you prefer. Even some Germans now (in this case Thea Dorn for Die Zeit – “Deutsche Sitten” – no link yet) have come to realize that those who might still prefer to have the right to choose for themselves are losing Lebensraum (their habitat) fast.

A German Opera house decides to cancel a production from their repertoire because several spectators needed medical attention (they were traumatized) after the premiere. A leading SPD politician openly discusses the possibility of limiting the speed limit to 120 kmh on German autobahns. The Greens specify in their party program to do away with the reduced value added tax rate currently granted for fast-food and to forbid the use of wild animals in circuses.

The German (or European) citizen who still expects to be able to decide for him- or herself on matters of this nature (whether to attend the opera performance or not, drive the speed he/she wishes on certain stretches of the autobahn, eat fast-food, etc.) is frowned upon ever more these days because, well, there are others out/up there more enlightened than him/her to make these decisions for them. This is the essence of socialist and/or Green thinking. This makes everything safe. And predictable. And correct sowieso (at the very least).

Autonomy means being able to assess what I can expect of myself and of my environment to put up with. Living means not letting myself be knocked down by injuries or setbacks. But how can I learn either of these things if our society becomes an omnipresent governess keenly taking care that her wards never get carried away?

How indeed. They don’t want you to get carried away. Or get away at all, for that matter, ever. That’s the point. Just curb your enthusiasm already and keep on voting for more tutelage.

Man kann sein Leben zu Tode verschwenden, andere zu Tode schinden. Wir sind dabei, uns zu Tode zu schonen.

First We Take Leipzig, Then We Take Berlin

June 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Academics, Berlin, Equality, Feminism, FU Berlin, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Political correctness, Professors, Sex, Women 1 Comment

That didn’t take long. After planning to introduce “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor at the University of Leipzig for both men and women professors, the FU Berlin is now thinking about doing the same.

Did Delta House dump some LSD in the faculty water cooler over here or something?

“All are equal in Leipzig. All women, that is.”

In Leipzig sind jetzt alle gleich, nämlich Frauen. Professoren gibt’s nicht mehr, nur noch Professorinnen, gemeint bleiben damit natürlich auch noch die männlichen Akademiker, die jedoch nur noch in einer Fußnote erwähnt werden.

Emasculation 101

June 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Feminism, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Leipzig, Political correctness, Professors, Sexism, Universities 2 Comments

If you have your doubts and worries about where your language is going in matters of political correctness, just be glad that you don’t speak German.

Squirming as everyone does these days to find a way to neuter anything and everything that can be neutered because, well, I’m still not quite sure why that is… The University of Leipzig has now made a very important contribution to this valiant endeavor, I think.

In German, calling a man a Professor and a woman a Professorin simply isn’t as geschlechtsneutral (gender-free) as it needs to be in this complex time we live in, it seems. That’s why the head smart folks what’s in charge of proper correct-type language usage here have decided to simply matters drastically. From now on Leipzig professors of either sex will be referred to as “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor.

I know, I know. You think that I’m pulling your leg and that this is some kind of a prank or a punk or whatever it is they call it these days, but it isn’t. Honest. It’s here. We’ve come a way long way baby. And this is where we are now.

Mit “Professorin” können somit künftig auch Männer gemeint sein, “Dozentinnen” umfasst sowohl männliche als weibliche Personen.

“German System” Suffering From Irregularity

June 2, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Pacifism, Regulation, Weapons, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

But only in other countries where “German system” weapons are being exported to, of course.

“How do these weapons end up in places they should not be?” a distressed Deutsche Welle asks with concerned Kulleraugen (big wide saucer eyes). They clearly don’t have proper gun control laws down there in those awful places. Not like we do here in Germany.

For example, in Mexico, police forces in states which are embroiled in a drug war are considered even by the central government as part of the security problem in their regions – nevertheless they have been issued with German-built G36 assault rifles, which can fire up to 750 rounds a minute. Germany’s Economics Ministry, which is responsible for export clearance, in fact sanctioned shipment of the weapons to Mexico – but not to the restive regions. The State Prosecutor in Stuttgart has launched an investigation into the German manufacturer of the G36 assault rifle, Heckler & Koch. The arms company told Deutsche Welle that individual employees, who have since left Heckler & Koch, were to blame for the irregularities.

Germany prides itself on having “strict, even restrictive regulations” for the export of weapons of war.

Where Have All The Germans Gone?

May 31, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Census, Census-Taking, Demographics, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Population, Satire 1 Comment

Germans everywhere were stunned this morning to discover that some 1.5 million of their countrymen had inexplicably disappeared the night before.

“This is just plain eerie,” one woman said. “I didn’t know any of them personally or anything of course, but just the thought that you could vanish like that from one day to the next is enough to make a body want to run away and hide first.”

The big shock came right after breakfast when those remaining of the German population were informed by the Federal Statistical Office that Germany now has a population of 80.2 million people rather than the 81.7 million who had been there just a few hours earlier.

Needless to say, the Federal Police and Bundesnachrichtendienst (Federal Intelligence Service) are working feverously to locate the missing 1.5 million Germans as soon as possible but have not been able to find any hot leads as of yet. They ask that if anyone left in the country should happen to locate this group of missing citizens to please tell them to remain where they are and call the authorities immediately.

Berlin trifft es besonders heftig. Am Freitagmorgen hat die Stadt auf einen Schlag 180.000 Einwohner verloren.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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