Germans Worried That Germans Are Spending Too Much

Now that they can’t worry about Germans spending too little for once, I mean.

Spending

Everything is geared for disaster here and every German knows it: Exports, imports, consumption, employment. You name it, it’s all working way too splendidly. Das kann nicht gut gehen (that’s never going to work out). Like oh my God we are all going to die.

Ausfuhren, Importe und Konsum laufen prächtig.

PS: But a little more on the serious side, what the hell else are you going to do with your money these days except spend it?

Berlin Is Already Over And Nobody Here Had The Decency To Tell Me

Or at least that’s what one New York Times journalist had to report – after clearly having run into way too many Americans here. And how could that not spell trouble?

Berlin

The Berlin backlash had to happen sooner or later. No city could be so consistently lauded to the skies for its creative edge, elegant shabbiness, and 24-hour nightlife without eventually coming down with a hard bump. And the bump does seem to have arrived.

…On the international front, the city’s social scene is also getting increasingly Anglophone.

Erschwerend kam hinzu, dass der offenbar aus New York stammende New-York-Times-Autor im Berghain wie auch überall sonst in Berlin ausschließlich auf andere aus New York stammende Menschen gestoßen ist, was die Bedeutung der einstigen Hipsterhochburg für ihn abschließend ruiniert hat; getreu der von dem ebenfalls aus New York stammenden Gegenwartsanalytiker Groucho Marx aufgestellten Maxime, dass er kein Mitglied in einem Club sein möchte, der ihn aufnehmen würde.

I CAN Stop Watching It

But it does kind of rock. I guess.

The dude you can find anywhere. But the women that work in my supermarket just don’t look like that. Well that one does…

Judging from this commercial, German supermakets are much more fun—or at least more bizarre—than their American counterparts.

Germans Don’t Trust German Politicians

But German politicians do.

Bundestag

That’s why they just gave themselves a big raise. They’ll now be receiving 830 euros a month more and take in over 9000 (not counting all the other benefits, of course). And this particular Bundestag vote was 464 yes, 115 no and 10 abstentions.

Firemen, paramedics and nurses are held in high regard in Germany and 22 other countries, a current study says. People trust them the most. Only 15 percent of Germans trust politicians, however.

Feuerwehrleute, Sanitäter und Krankenpfleger sind in Deutschland und weiteren 22 Ländern hoch angesehen. Ihnen vertrauen die Menschen einer aktuellen Studie zufolge am meisten. Nur 15 Prozent der Deutschen vertrauen den Politikern.

Germans Beat The Pants Off Everybody Else

And they are doing this by not wearing any pants themselves.

Naked

Germany has now clearly taken the lead in the Winter Olympics by once again coming out victorious in the naked sledging competition.

Huh? What do you mean this isn’t an Olympic event?

Not to be put off by the mild temperatures, an artificial ski slope was created.

90 Percent Of Germans Believe That 90 Percent Of Americans Don’t Believe In Evolution

They really do.

Darwin

Germans are often very naive and childlike when it comes to their beliefs, don’t you think?

Nur 9,5 Prozent glauben, dass keine höhere Macht in der Entstehung des Universums und der Entwicklung der verschiedenen Tierarten involviert war.

Chinese And Eastern European Spy Attacks Boring Spiegel Readers To Tears

1) Chinese intelligence agencies have apparently carried out a spy attack on the federal government of Germany. Yawn.

China

2) Some 16 million email addresses and passwords of 600 government employees at every German ministry have been taken in a massive data theft operation. The attack was carried out by eastern European criminals, according to Der Spiegel. Snooze.

When asked for more detailed information, a German government spokesman replied “More detailed information. Of what? Like who cares? It’s not as if these attacks were carried out by the NSA or anything.”

Researchers declined to speculate about the possible origin of the malware, but noted that none of the victims were from China.

PS: As for this year’s Berlinale, hmmm. The Chinese just won the Golden Bear for best film this year, too. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Some long-established film festivals, such as Cannes and Venice, can legitimately claim to be timeless. Berlin, however, seems to be stuck in the past, and not only because the event somewhat coasts on its bygone reputation as a festival of discovery…

The Berlinale’s 64th edition was the most lukewarm in years. You don’t usually expect swoons and scandals here, but you do hope that every year’s competition will bring one major discovery, or at least an unassuming gem that everyone falls in love with. There was one universally adored film in competition – but it doesn’t quite count as a Berlin revelation, as it came straight from wowing Sundance…

Berlin always provides its share of A-list red-carpet promenades – this year, by the likes of George Clooney, Bill Murray and Uma Thurman – yet these never quite disguise the festival’s essential earnestness…

Otherwise, I suspect that Berlin 2014 will be best remembered for its major innovation – the addition of a pop-up line of gourmet food wagons. Festival-goers will turn up undeterred again next year – but many of them will be doing it less for the films than for this Berlinale’s real discovery, the pulled pork baps.

Kool Klips

In this here Berlinale article, I mean.

Berlinale

And this is mainly because none of these clips have been taken from any of the films that are being shown here at the Berlinale this year.

You know it’s Berlinale time when coffee has been spilled all over the benches in the Sony Center early in the morning already.

Du weißt, es ist Berlinale, wenn… Dir irgendjemand nach Ende des letzten Berlinale-Tages erzählt, dass er es jetzt schon kaum erwarten kann, wenn das Filmfestival nächsten Winter wieder in die Stadt kommt.

Shia LaBeouf Now No Longer Famous

And all it took was a short visit to the Berlinale in Berlin.

Shia

He certainly knew what he was doing. The films that they play here are no longer famous, either.

Dieser Eintrag im Berlinaleblog ist nicht leicht gefallen. Denn er wird genau das bewirken, was der Autor eigentlich kritisieren will: Dass es in der modernen Mediengesellschaft eine wirkungsvolle Strategie ist, durch Pöbeln und Rüpeln Aufmerksamkeit zu erzeugen.

Goethe OK, But The EU ITSELF?

As if NSA surveillance, Google Street View (and Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, etc.), scary drone technology, unbridled imperialism, world domination and McDonald’s were not enough already, a well-intended leak has shown that American diplomats are now even using bad four-letter words when referring to the EU and other sacrosant international-like institutions, too.

FackjuGoethe

And the Chancellor HERSELF is really pissed off about this one this time. Eavesdropping on her cell phone is one thing, but using the F-word is “absolutely unacceptable.”

Of course, how German officials were even able to find out about the story is a bit of a mystery to me. The four-letter word in question is not allowed through their porno censorship system.

U.S. officials blamed Moscow for the Internet leak of recordings of Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland and the U.S. ambassador in Kiev discussing a possible future government for Ukraine, where Washington and Brussels back anti-Kremlin demonstrators.

PS: Talk about stealing candy from a baby. Thieves had no problem breaking into a Bundeswehr barracks in Seedorf (no, it’s not in Afghanistan) and stealing 28,000 rounds of ammunition.