We Know Nothing

Nothing! Not even the last name of this guy. He’s just Andreas L. to us. And that’s why everybody here is so pissed off at some of the German media for revealing, like, his entire name and everything!

Andreas Lubitz

We Germans respect his privacy, you see. Even though he’s dead – along with the other 149 innocent people he killed. Oops! We don’t know that yet. No jumping to conclusions here, folks. At any rate, we’re crazy about privacy. Some say we’re even stark raving mad about it.

In the U.S., it’s standard operating procedure to release the names of people who are suspected of committing a crime. But in Germany, where people are far more sensitive about the line between public and private, that is not done. Critics in the country have cast the move as a reckless rush to judgment, and accuse the media of exploiting the tragedy before all the facts have been established. Others believe that the co-pilot’s family could now face retaliation for the crash.

Analysis of a tablet device belonging to Germanwings Flight 9525 co-pilot Andreas Lubitz shows he researched suicide methods on the Internet in the days leading up to the crash, the public prosecutor’s office in Dusseldorf, Germany, said Thursday.

Gun Never To Be Used In Combat Doesn’t Meet The Bundeswehr’s Tough Never To Be Used In Combat Standards

After several years of investigation, the German Bundeswehr has confirmed that the light profile of its Heckler & Koch G36 barrels are leading to accuracy problems in the field, Reuters reported. The rifle’s accuracy opens up after sustained fully-automatic fire, which heats up the barrel, causing the point of impact to shift.

G36

So like now the German defense ministry under defense minister Ursula von der Leyen is considering issuing a different rifle that will never be used in combat, either but will at least meet the Bundeswehr’s stringent never to be used in combat standards.

Noch soll das Gewehr, von dem die Bundeswehr knapp 180.000 Stück angeschafft hat, im Einsatz bleiben. Ministerin von der Leyen kündigte aber bereits an, man müsse nach den neuen Tests prüfen, ob die Truppe “auf mittlere Sicht mit einem anderen Sturmgewehr ausgerüstet werden muss”.

To Russia With Love

I mean with debt. Go with God, Greece, but go (to Russia for more dough). I’m sure they’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Russia

Greece’s energy minister is visiting Russia today after calling for a confrontation with a “Germanised Europe” in the country’s stalling bailout negotiations.

The visit comes less than a fortnight before Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras is due to visit Russian president Vladimir Putin, the date of which was reportedly brought forward because of Greece’s financial disputes with the European Union.

“Today, it becomes even more evident to me that the pathway of the country away from the crisis goes through tough confrontation, if not collision, with the Germanized Europe.”

It’s Not That We’re Too Strong

The rest of you guys out there in Europe are just too weak. Like start doing more push-ups or something.

Germany

German dominance is in part a consequence of others’ retreat. That may be why complaints have been muted. “If the Italians don’t bring pasta and the French don’t bring pâté,” says a diplomat, “you can’t complain about Mrs Merkel’s cabbage soup.

PS: And speaking of getting stronger, you folks over at the FDP should learn to smile a little already. Polls indicate that you’re back over that magical 5 percent line and could get back in the saddle again – if elections were to be held today.

So Much For That Ongoing Illness

The copilot of the Germanwings plane that crashed into the French Alps appears to have hidden evidence of an illness from his employers, German prosecutors said after authorities found a torn-up sick note while searching his homes.

Germanwings

All of this disturbs me in more ways than one, as I’m sure it does you. If it is true that “Lufthansa has one of the most complete and exhaustive selection processes that there is,” what does that say about the rest of the airlines out there? This is just like those psycho shooters who do their thing in countries with stringent gun control laws (Breivik in Norway, the Dunblane school massacre in Scotland, etc.). You have to try to improve “the system,” of course, but do you really think it’s possible to stop people like this in the end?

Other medical documents found in police searches suggested an ongoing illness and appropriate medical treatment.

Psychosis Is A Waking Nightmare

And this guy’s just reached out and grabbed us.

Andreas Lubitz

He had to have been mad, right? Because if this was just another 28-year-old narcissist having a really bad day then heaven help us all. There is no end to those out there.

Der Copilot des Germanwings-Airbus soll einem Medienbericht zufolge in seiner Ausbildungszeit psychische Probleme gehabt haben.

German-Greek Tensions Ease After First WWII Reparations Payment Rolls In

European politicians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief as a mentally challenged German couple holidaying in Greece made the first ever private WWII reparations payment of $935 to Greece to make up for their government’s bad and nasty attitude.

Übermacht

Spokesmen for Brussels and Berlin were quick to point out that this shows how private people with good intentions can also “burn up money like nobody’s business” and how “like you shouldn’t always point your finger just at us when we squander away our dough. Your dough, that is. You’re pretty good at this, too.”

“They made their calculations and said each German owed 875 euros for what Greece had to pay during World War II.”

Eclipse Faked By Jan Böhmermann

That was the sunniest damned eclipse I ever saw, people. What a dud. I think it was faked by Jan Böhmermann.

Finger

The row (about the Varoufakis flip off video) took a fresh twist on Wednesday evening when satirical programme Neo Magazin Royale, on a rival channel, claimed that it had doctored the video and uploaded it to the internet.

Host Jan Böhmermann claimed his team had used digital editing software to insert the indecent gesture. Then it showed another clip it said was the original, in which Mr Varoufakis made the same remarks but without the gesture. A regretful Mr Böhmermann told his audience they were behind the “fake” Stinkefinger footage.

It didn’t take long, however, until the fake was itself revealed as a fake.

„Dieser Witz hat nie stattgefunden.”

German Solar Energy To Be Turned Off Tomorrow

It’s hard to say how long the grid will be down, though.

Eclipse

So what’s the big deal, exactly? The sun goes down every night, of course, and Germany is quite accustomed to cloudy days. (It gets about as much sunshine as Alaska.) The difference with a solar eclipse is the speed at which sunlight will disappear from, and then return to, the power system. All electric grids operate on the fundamental principle that supply and demand must always be in perfect equilibrium, second by second. That dynamic becomes complicated when so much of your power comes from a source like solar, over which grid operators have zero control. And it’s especially tricky when the fluctuation is so rapid and extreme.

“Eine Sonnenfinsternis gibt es doch jeden Abend.”