Good Enough For Government Work

A convicted murderer and RAF terrorist working for a representative of The Left party in the Bundestag?

Christian Klar

So what? Ain’t no big deal. Christian Klar is apparently more into web design these days so it’s time to let bygones be bygones. You know, like The Left party and its agitating world socialist friends over at the International Committee of the Fourth International have done?

His new boss, Dr. Diether Dehm, did, however, run into a bit of a snag trying to get Klar a security pass to enter the Bundestag as his personal guest – some revisionist imperialist a-hole over at the pass office turned down his request due to something he called Sicherheitsbedenken (security conserns), but you know the deal, folks. Left it up to your imagination. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

“Der Feind der Demokratie hat nichts im Herzstück der Demokratie zu suchen.”

German Of The Day: Unproblematisch

That means problem-free or uncomplicated.

Exports

And that is what Germany’s economics minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) has to say about the significant rise in German arms exports. It’s problem-free. And totally uncomplicated.

He is the economics minister, after all. What could be more “economical” than increased arms sales? And you also need to know that this guy took office in 2013 promising to significantly restrict arms exports. So, well, there. At least his heart is in the right place.

SPD-Chef Gabriel hatte sein Amt Ende 2013 mit dem Versprechen angetreten, die Rüstungsexporte deutlich einzuschränken. Nun räumte er ein, dass seine Halbzeitbilanz „Licht und Schatten“ aufweise.

Michael Moore Moved By German Kindness

But only about a centimeter or two.

Michael Moore

He’s a really big guy, see?

In a special wide-screen video appearance made especially for this year’s crappy Berlin Film Festival (Moore’s own latest crappy film, “Who to Offend Next,” oops, I mean “Where to Invade Next” is being shown here but he unfortunately cannot attend due to pneumonia and being a really, honking hefty dude, like I said) the annoying loudmouth commended Germany for its “kindness towards refugees, which has moved me and millions of Americans.” But, hey. Somebody’s got to do it, I guess.

Wanna see an even better Michael Moore video? When he was skinny, I mean?

Eure Großzügigkeit und Güte gegenüber Flüchtlingen haben mich und Millionen Amerikaner bewegt. Und ich weiß, es gibt Probleme.

Speaking Of Life Jackets…

Anybody who voluntarily goes to this event needs to be wearing one at the very least. Und zwar (namely) a get-a-life jacket*.

Life Jackets

That’s right. It’s Cinema for Peace time in Berlin again and this year’s theme is, how the hell do I know? Nobody knows. Refugees? Whatever it is it looks like only those with good connections to the cereal industry are allowed to take part this year (same procedure as every year). You know, you’ve got to be either a nut, a fruit or a flake?

Like, what is any of this supposed to mean?

Den Mist mache ich nicht mit, ich kacke ja auch nicht auf den Tisch im Namen der Kunst.

* Space blankets are of course also angesagt (hot) this year.

Leftest Violence Still As Harmless As Ever

Ah Berlin. I love the smell of barbecue ignition chemicals in the morning.

Car

In the past seven days, the extremists proved true to their claim, starting what could be the most destructive single anti-gentrification action any city in Europe has yet seen. On Saturday, a gang of 40 masked vandals smashed up 28 cars in the area near central Potsdamer Platz, leaving some of them in flames. Attacks continued the following night in the southwestern district of Neukolln, when at least 20 more cars were damaged and shop windows smashed in.

But don’t worry, folks. The Deutsche Welle reassures us that in the wake of two spates of property damage by extremists in Berlin, some news outlets and politicians have warned of a rise in “leftist violence.” But the long-term stats do not bear this out.

Well if it’s only a protest against gentrification, then alles klar (say no more). Why didn’t you say so in the first place? We thought it had something to do with property rights, respect for the law and senseless violence and vandalism again.

The vandals’ weapon of choice is a disposable tinfoil barbecue set of a sort that many German stores sell for use as summer grills in the park.

Tank About It

It’s that jolly, merry, drunken Karneval season again, folks.

Tank

And this tank float here got labeled the “Imtaler Asylum Defense.” Uh oh, we’re gonna get letters… Officials are even looking into hate crime charges.

For some reason, however, this float here is perfectly OK. I guess because Angie’s on it. It’s called “Refugee Wave.”

Reugee Wave

Ein Panzer-Motivwagen mit der Aufschrift „Asylabwehr“ hat bei einem Umzug in Bayern für Empörung gesorgt. Die Behörden ermitteln jetzt wegen Verdacht auf Volksverhetzung. Auch die Aktionen anderer Vereine wurden als fremdenfeindlich kritisiert.

Alles wie Immer*

When it comes to reliable news sources, I mean – ‘Refugee’: A keyword that gets German media every time.

Refugee

Let’s see. Here’s what’s coming out of German media outlets these days: A dead refugee who isn’t, a thirteen-year-old girl raped by refugees who wasn’t and a hand grenade attack at a refugee facility done with a hand grenade that doesn’t explode… Tell me when to stop or something.

Police said the grenade still contained its explosives but it was not clear whether it still had a detonator. Forensics experts are investigating.

* alles wie immer means the same as always.

You Can Only Buy So Much Pepper Spray

Damn. These are gettin’ to be purty near amerikanische Verhältnisse, folks.

Guns

For weeks arms sellers and regulatory agencies have seen increased demand for gun permits. Enrollment in self-defense courses is also up. Police say that is not yet a problem…

Germany has strict gun laws which stipulate that weapons may only be purchased under very specific circumstances. But with the so-called small arms permit, citizens are allowed to own weapons, such as gas cartridge guns or signal pistols. These may also be carried outside the home. The permit costs between 50 and 60 euros and the only restriction is that the applicant be a minimum 18 years of age.

PS: Dead refugee who died waiting in line outside a Berlin government office yesterday turned out to be not nearly as dead as originally reported. Uh, why is everyone in Germany prepared to believe a story like that and nobody wants to hear about a story like this?

And speaking of Sweden

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

German Of The Day: Realitätsverweigerung

That means denying reality.

Invasion

It is very popular in Germany at the moment due to the refugee invasion currently taking place, part of the denial process here being that this invasion isn’t even being referred to as one. They call it the refugee question or situation or policy or crisis instead (crisis is clearly leading at the moment).

It has a long tradition. If German reality deniers don’t like the facts, the facts – or at least the ways they view them – just get twisted around (or we are informed by them that “there are no facts at all”). And that’s a fact. Happens all the time. Everything is relative, you see. See moral relativism.

Latest example: The vast majority of perpetrators committing those infamous New Year’s Eve sex attacks were newly-arrived “migrants” from Morocco and Algeria, for instance. Rather than addressing this very real problem, German reality deniers prefer organizing protest rallies against racism instead. Needless to say, these are always well-covered by the media.

This kind of predictable, incoherent reaction makes me feel sometimes like I’m Donald Sutherland’s character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Have the minds of these people been replaced while they sleep by copies of themselves having some weird, extraterrestrial and, in this case, irrational intelligence? Why are there so many of them acting this way? Is their number increasing? Are the body snatchers going to get me next? I’m going to lay off the sleep for a few months now just to play it safe.

Auch wenn jetzt alle davon reden, man dürfe nichts “unter den Teppich kehren”. Der so hochmoralische wie unehrliche Umgang mit der Flüchtlingsfrage droht uns um die Ohren zu fliegen.