German Of The Day: Realitätsverweigerung

That means denying reality.

Invasion

It is very popular in Germany at the moment due to the refugee invasion currently taking place, part of the denial process here being that this invasion isn’t even being referred to as one. They call it the refugee question or situation or policy or crisis instead (crisis is clearly leading at the moment).

It has a long tradition. If German reality deniers don’t like the facts, the facts – or at least the ways they view them – just get twisted around (or we are informed by them that “there are no facts at all”). And that’s a fact. Happens all the time. Everything is relative, you see. See moral relativism.

Latest example: The vast majority of perpetrators committing those infamous New Year’s Eve sex attacks were newly-arrived “migrants” from Morocco and Algeria, for instance. Rather than addressing this very real problem, German reality deniers prefer organizing protest rallies against racism instead. Needless to say, these are always well-covered by the media.

This kind of predictable, incoherent reaction makes me feel sometimes like I’m Donald Sutherland’s character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Have the minds of these people been replaced while they sleep by copies of themselves having some weird, extraterrestrial and, in this case, irrational intelligence? Why are there so many of them acting this way? Is their number increasing? Are the body snatchers going to get me next? I’m going to lay off the sleep for a few months now just to play it safe.

Auch wenn jetzt alle davon reden, man dürfe nichts “unter den Teppich kehren”. Der so hochmoralische wie unehrliche Umgang mit der Flüchtlingsfrage droht uns um die Ohren zu fliegen.

Finding Friends Now Illegal In Germany

If you had any friends, you wouldn’t have to find them, right?

Facebook

And trying to find friends who aren’t your friends yet would only be an imposition and a possible violation of their Gott-given data privacy rights.

So just why are you trying to find these friends, anyway? Do you have some hidden agenda we don’t know about? What are you really up to? And, more importantly, why are you standing on ze corner?

Germany’s Federal Court of Justice has upheld a 2014 judgement that Facebook’s Friend Finder feature is illegal under laws concerning both unwanted commercial promotions and data protection, following an appeal by the social media giant.

The album (Weasels Ripped My Flesh) also documents the brief tenure of Lowell George (guitar and vocals), who went on to found the country-rock band Little Feat with Mothers bassist Roy Estrada . On “Didja Get Any Onya?”, George affects a German accent to relate a story of being a small boy in Germany and seeing “a lot of people stand around on the corners asking questions, ‘Why are you standing on the corner, acting the way you act, looking the way you look, why do you look that way?'”

German Of The Day: Kultureller Austausch

That means cultural exchange. You know, like the one that took place in Cologne on New Year’s Eve (not to mention in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Bielefeld, etc.)?

Cologne

Here are a few examples of the mindset of some of the young men who participated in the festivities that night (in a report filed by the Cologne police):

After being confronted by the cops, one guy said “I’m a Syrian. You have to be friendly to me! Frau Merkel invited me.”

Another guy, after ripping up his residence permit in front of another cop, said “You can’t do anything about it. I’ll just get a new one tomorrow.”

Police trying to help some of the victims were held back by some of these men, others refused to leave the area after the police ordered them to do so, witnesses were threatened if they dared to identify any of them doing the harassment… You know, stuff like that. Nothing for anybody to get all hot and bothered about.

Der Verfasser des Berichts zieht ein düsteres Fazit: Den Maßnahmen der Beamten sei mit einer Respektlosigkeit gegegnet worden, “wie ich sie in 29 Dienstjahren noch nicht erlebt habe.”

Hate Speech To Be Gone Within 24 Hours, Dumb Speech Remains Untouched

In an international move of solidarity to promote goodness and niceness the world over for the betterment of the entire human race itself,  the nations of Germany, Facebook Google and Twitter have agreed to end hate speech from their websites in our time or at least within 24 hours of its issue.

Facebook

“This cuts right to the root of the whole hate thing,” a spokesman for the nation of Germany stressed. “As we have all learned through our years of experience in enforcing political correctness, merely using the proper terminology or “newspeak” is enough to alleviate the actual causes behind this improper way of thinking, I mean speaking. It’s like magic.”

Another spokesman assured the public that only hate speech will be targeted here and that all that other kinds of dumb, inane and annoying speech, the vast majority of speech that’s out there, will remain untouched.

“Wir dürfen den geistigen Brandstiftern nicht das Feld überlassen – weder auf der Straße noch im Netz.”

Dieselgate Actually US-Amerikanische Conspiracy Or Something

But you knew that already, I hope.

Diesel

It was a few researchers from West Virginia (at least one German researcher working in the US was involved here, too, by the way) who brought down the might of the German automotive industry, exposing VW’s Dieselgate cheats. Do you think Germany is pleased about that?

Displeased might not be the right word, but the very healthy sense of irony in Germany came out strong as the industrial nation had to reckon with podunk yahoo America getting German tech on the global shitlist (see the FIFA scandal, “unfortunately” a similar situation). Let us not forget that VW is Germany’s biggest automaker, and making autos is Germany’s most proud export business.

This video comes from the publicly-funded ZDF TV network.

American cars. Non-manipulated. Out of love for the environment.

Then We’ll Send Our Better Half

Syria conflict: Half of German Tornado jets ‘not airworthy’

Tornado

Ain’t no big deal, as German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen has stressed, because Germany only needs to send six Tornado jets for the proposed mission against Islamic State (IS) militants in Syria. Six that maybe ought to be halfway operational, she means.

This German war machine, she is stll broken, señor (thank goodness weapons exports are still A-OK, though).

“Die Lage der fliegenden Systeme bleibt unbefriedigend.”

Who Woke Up Insulation Nation?

Like how rude is that? Even if they’re only awake for a few minutes it’s still uncalled for.

War

* Germans long felt insulated after opposing 2003 Iraq war

* Germany-France soccer game was one of Paris targets

* Cancelled match this week brought threat closer to home

* Vice chancellor shuns war rhetoric favoured by Hollande

After years of feeling insulated from militant Islamist threats, Germans are worrying that they too could be subject to attacks like those suffered last week in Paris.

Ain’t no big deal, though. They’ll be back to sleep in no time, folks. War? What, me worry? The answer is always…

“Die ganz klare Antwort ist nein.”

Germany To Double Its Presence In Mali to 18 Men

Eager to help its neighbor France redistribute its military forces in the wake of the terrorist attacks on Paris, and keen to stay out of harm’s way while pretending to have a real military of its own, Germany has generously volunteered to increase the number of its already sizable forces presently stationed in Mali. Some sources close to the chicly coiffed head of the German war machine herself have even suggested that she may even actually double the number to a full 18 men (that’s a 1 and an 8). Personen (persons), I mean.

War

Meanwhile… Earlier on Tuesday, French President Francois Hollande said the French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle would head to the eastern Mediterranean offshore areas of Syria and Lebanon, instead of the Persian Gulf as previously announced, to support military operations against the Islamic State (IS) extremist group.

Die Bundeswehr beteiligt sich an der UN-Mission Minusma in Mali derzeit unterstützend mit neun Soldaten.

PS: When Germans say nein they mean nine, damn it.