Alarm In Germany: Esteem Level For Russia Now Sinking Dangerously Close To Esteem Level For US-Amerika

March 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Polls, Putin, Russia, Satire, Surveys, Ukraine, USA 2 Comments

German political scientists everywhere were stunned at the latest unexpected Infratest dimap survey findings in Germany. For some inexplicable reason, 81 percent of Germans asked have lost their trust in Russia and do not believe that the country respects basic democratic rights.

Unable to explain this unexpected finding, one scientist warns that if this drop in esteem were to continue and surpass the 96 percent mark “we will then have reached the lack of esteem level traditionally reserved for the United States of America, a country we all know to be much more deserving of our lack of esteem although none of us can rationally explain why that is, and this would be a real rotten deal for Russia. And none of us want that.”

Nur 13 Prozent der Deutschen glaubt an das Minsker Abkommen.

Germany’s Eurovision Preselection Winner Forced Out To Meet New Gender Quota

March 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Andreas Kümmert, Conchita Wurst, Eurovision, Gender Quotas, Germans, Germany, Humor, Interventionism, Quota, Quota Women, Satire, Women 3 Comments

No sooner did the German women already running the country pass a law requiring that at least 30% of non-executive members at large companies be women than was Andreas Kümmert, the fair and square winner of the chance to represent Germany at this year’s all-important Eurovision song contest, forced at what might as well have been gunpoint to hand over his spot to runner-up Ann Sophie, a woman.

Kümmert, A man, I think, his arm being held tightly behind his back, shocked the German Eurovision preselection audience by announcing “I’m really not in the right shape to accept this. Honest I’m not! I swear I swear I swear. You take it, Ann Sophie. And you run with it, girl!”

Sheesh. These broads never would have gotten away with this last year.

Mass Numbers Of Germans Flee Country

March 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Holidays, Humor, Spending, Tourism, Travel, Vacation 1 Comment

And then return again. Several times a year even. They call it Tourismus (tourism).

That’s right, when not moaning about capitalism and democracy itself, Germans like to spend their ample free time breaking new records in the World Travel Champions category. In 2014 they spent more than 67 billion euros traveling, for instance, five percent more than the year before. The next record for 2015 seems to be vorprogrammiert (preprogrammed), too.

Die Deutschen lassen sich ihren Urlaub so viel kosten wie nie. Mehr als 67 Milliarden Euro gaben sie im vergangenen Jahr für Urlaubsreisen von mindestens fünf Tagen aus, plus fünf Prozent zum Vorjahr.

A New Axis Of Evil Or Something

March 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: EU, Euro, Germany, Greece, Portugal, Reform, Spain, Tsipras 1 Comment

It’s not just Germany hurting Greek feelings anymore (although the Germans are still evil, too).

The Greek government is now accusing Spain and Portugal of conspiring against it, as well. It’s a conspiracy, you see, because these two countries are willing to carry out the stringent reforms needed to get their economies going again. Greece clearly is not.

Greece’s leftist Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras accused Spain and Portugal on Saturday of leading a conservative conspiracy to topple his anti-austerity government, saying they feared their own radical forces before elections this year.

How much longer is this show going to go on?

“Nach europäischen Maßstäben war das ein sehr ungewöhnliches Foulspiel. Das tun wir nicht in der Euro-Gruppe, das gehört sich nicht.”

I Would Like To Know More About This ISIS Beheading Thing

March 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bremen, Charlie Hebdo, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Islam, Islamophobia, Religion, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

And the Charlie Hebdo attack. And all the other attacks. And that mysterious Islamist terror threat yesterday in Bremen. You know. I would like to know more about stuff like that.

I would like to understand these things better because I don’t understand them at all because all of these atrocities are being carried out by Islamists in the name of Islam and yet I am continually being told that these Islamists have nothing to do with Islam and that confuses me. This confusion means that I am Islamophobic, apparently. And I know you mean well, mister but I don’t think you are going to have any good answers for me, either. That must be a part of my Islamophobia, too. Help me, man. I’m sick.

“It’s getting more difficult because a lot of Islamophobic themes are coming, people now mixing Islam and terror, so we have to explain a lot.”

PS: And the Miss Germany 2015 winner is… Her.

Germans Confused Why Everybody In Europe Wants TTIP Except Them

February 25, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Negativity, Paranoia, Polls, Surveys, Trade, Treaties, TTIP 2 Comments

It’s like I say, folks: A real German says no first and asks questions later (that was oddity 255, if you’re interested). And if US-Amerika is involved in the calculation (see TTIP), all bets are off.

“The EU has published a survey according to which citizens are downright euphoric about the free trade agreement TTIP. In all, 25 Member States [of the 28] there will pour sheer enthusiasm over the completely secretly negotiated agreement, but for one small exception: Germans are mostly against the TTIP.”

Die EU hat in Deutschland einen merkwürdigen Zusammenhang zwischen der Befürwortung von TTIP und der „Demokratiezufriedenheit“ der Bürger ausgemacht. In anderen Ländern lasse sich ein solcher Zusammenhang nicht feststellen.

Capitalism Causes All This Awful German Affluence

February 24, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Capitalism, Communism, Cynicism, Democracy, East Germany, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Industry, Opinion, Polls, Socialism, Surveys 3 Comments

And it must be stopped immediately (the capitalism, not the affluence). And let’s get rid of democracy while we’re at it.

Survey says… Nearly a third of Germans believe that capitalism is the cause of poverty and hunger.

The poll of 1,400 people found that 59 percent of Germans in the formerly communist east consider communist and socialist ideals a good idea for society. In western Germany, 37 percent said they considered communist and socialist ideals to be good…

The survey found that more than 60 percent of Germans believe there is no genuine democracy in their country because industry has too much political influence and that the voice of the voters plays only a subordinate role.

Although not covered by this particular survey, capitalism and democracy are clearly also the cause behind the German obesity problem, the German six weeks of vacation a year problem, the German lowest unemployment rate and highest per capita (does that word come from capitalism?) savings in all of Europe problems, too. To name just a few.

Einer Studie zufolge glauben mehr als 60 Prozent der Bürger, dass in Deutschland keine echte Demokratie herrscht.

Never Forget That Apple Is Still Evil

February 23, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Apple, Business, Cupertino, German, Germans, Germany, Hi-Tech Companies, Mother Ship, Suppliers Leave a comment

Just like Google, Facebook, eBay, Amazon and all those other hi-tech folks (from US-Amerika).

But try not to notice that German suppliers raked in two billion euros from Apple last year alone. That would be indelicate or something.

German companies are supplying the glass for Apple’s future Campus 2 “mother ship” in Cupertino, for instance. Glass and Geld (money) don’t stink, I guess.

Apple hat im vergangenen Jahr rund zwei Milliarden Euro an Zulieferer aus Deutschland gezahlt, wie Konzernchef Tim Cook am Montag der Deutschen Presse-Agentur mitteilte. Cook besuchte in Gersthofen bei Augsburg den Glas-Spezialisten Seele, dessen Tochtergesellschaft Sedak die Frontscheiben des neuen Apple-Hauptquartiers in Cupertino liefert. Die eigentliche Fassade inklusive der Sedak-Glasscheiben stammt vom schwäbischen Stahl- und Glas-Spezialisten Josef Gartner aus dem benachbarten Gundelfingen an der Donau.

Lithuania

February 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Aggression, Arms exports, Defense, Exports, Germany, Lithuania, NATO, Russia, Ukraine, Weapons Leave a comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week (not).

Because somebody has to admire them if they would only be there to admire but not in this case because countries like Lithuania that actually need weapons from countries like Germany can’t have them because that might hurt countries like Russia’s feelings and we wouldn’t want that.

Maybe the Lithuanians would be interested in some German broomsticks instead?

Die baltischen Staaten fürchten russische Aggressionen nach dem Vorbild der Krim-Invasion und des Kriegs in der Ostukraine. Litauen will seine Armee deshalb modernisieren. Hilfe aus Deutschland gibt es dabei nicht.

German Of The Day: Finanzspritze

February 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brussels, Debt, EU, Euro, German, Germany, Greece, Greek, Humor, Satire, Tsipras 3 Comments

That means an injection of capital. And that’s Greek down there for “I got your injection of capital for you right here, pal.”

Germany and its allies turned up the pressure on Greece to accept their conditions to stay in the euro as the region’s top finance officials descended on Brussels to hammer out a deal.

“Germany, the Netherlands and others will be hard and they will insist that Greece pays back the solidarity shown by the member states by respecting the conditions. They’ve now reached a point where they will tell Greece ‘if you really want to leave, leave.’”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hypocrisy