No Easter Peace March Planned For Tröglitz This Year

You know, the place where after getting the mayor to hightail it out of town and burning down a planned asylum seekers‘ home on Easter Sunday, right-wing nut jobs are now threatening to behead the local district administrator if asylum seekers start arriving in May as originally planned?

Peace

German peace activists will be protesting against the real forces of evil like NATO, instead. The same procedure as every year, James.

The Easter marches reached their peak in support between 1968 and 1983, when events throughout West Germany brought hundreds of thousands out onto the streets annually to demonstrate against issues such as Washington’s military involvement in Vietnam and the nuclear arms race.

We Know Nothing

Nothing! Not even the last name of this guy. He’s just Andreas L. to us. And that’s why everybody here is so pissed off at some of the German media for revealing, like, his entire name and everything!

Andreas Lubitz

We Germans respect his privacy, you see. Even though he’s dead – along with the other 149 innocent people he killed. Oops! We don’t know that yet. No jumping to conclusions here, folks. At any rate, we’re crazy about privacy. Some say we’re even stark raving mad about it.

In the U.S., it’s standard operating procedure to release the names of people who are suspected of committing a crime. But in Germany, where people are far more sensitive about the line between public and private, that is not done. Critics in the country have cast the move as a reckless rush to judgment, and accuse the media of exploiting the tragedy before all the facts have been established. Others believe that the co-pilot’s family could now face retaliation for the crash.

Analysis of a tablet device belonging to Germanwings Flight 9525 co-pilot Andreas Lubitz shows he researched suicide methods on the Internet in the days leading up to the crash, the public prosecutor’s office in Dusseldorf, Germany, said Thursday.

Germans Don’t Frack Around

Germany is just about to make German fracking safer. In a country that doesn’t do any fracking in the first place, versteht sich (it’s understood). And they are going to make it safer by banning it altogether. Makes sense to me. When I concentrate really hard and try to think like a German, I mean (can’t do it for very long, though).

Fracking

The new draft law, which now goes to parliament for approval, will impose an outright ban on fracking for shale gas in the next few years and only allow scientific test drilling under strict conditions to assess the risks and environmental impact.

The law could allow commercial shale gas fracking in exceptional cases from 2019 but only after successful test drilling and the approval of a special committee.

Germany’s gas industry has warned restricting fracking could increase the country’s dependence on imported energy at a time when geopolitical concerns, particularly over Ukraine, are growing.

The BDI industry lobby group described the new conditions as “completely over the top”.

Last year, gas imports from Russia accounted for 37 percent of Germany’s supply. Only 12 percent of Germany’s needs were covered by its own reserves, down from almost a fifth a decade earlier.

Gun Never To Be Used In Combat Doesn’t Meet The Bundeswehr’s Tough Never To Be Used In Combat Standards

After several years of investigation, the German Bundeswehr has confirmed that the light profile of its Heckler & Koch G36 barrels are leading to accuracy problems in the field, Reuters reported. The rifle’s accuracy opens up after sustained fully-automatic fire, which heats up the barrel, causing the point of impact to shift.

G36

So like now the German defense ministry under defense minister Ursula von der Leyen is considering issuing a different rifle that will never be used in combat, either but will at least meet the Bundeswehr’s stringent never to be used in combat standards.

Noch soll das Gewehr, von dem die Bundeswehr knapp 180.000 Stück angeschafft hat, im Einsatz bleiben. Ministerin von der Leyen kündigte aber bereits an, man müsse nach den neuen Tests prüfen, ob die Truppe “auf mittlere Sicht mit einem anderen Sturmgewehr ausgerüstet werden muss”.

To Russia With Love

I mean with debt. Go with God, Greece, but go (to Russia for more dough). I’m sure they’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Russia

Greece’s energy minister is visiting Russia today after calling for a confrontation with a “Germanised Europe” in the country’s stalling bailout negotiations.

The visit comes less than a fortnight before Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras is due to visit Russian president Vladimir Putin, the date of which was reportedly brought forward because of Greece’s financial disputes with the European Union.

“Today, it becomes even more evident to me that the pathway of the country away from the crisis goes through tough confrontation, if not collision, with the Germanized Europe.”

It’s Not That We’re Too Strong

The rest of you guys out there in Europe are just too weak. Like start doing more push-ups or something.

Germany

German dominance is in part a consequence of others’ retreat. That may be why complaints have been muted. “If the Italians don’t bring pasta and the French don’t bring pâté,” says a diplomat, “you can’t complain about Mrs Merkel’s cabbage soup.

PS: And speaking of getting stronger, you folks over at the FDP should learn to smile a little already. Polls indicate that you’re back over that magical 5 percent line and could get back in the saddle again – if elections were to be held today.

Uber And Out

Always remember: What is not expressly allowed in Germany is strictly forbidden.

Uber

A court in Frankfurt has ruled that the UberPop ride-hailing service may not operate anywhere in Germany for the simple reason that, uh, well, you ought to have an official permit to do so. To be the driver, I mean.

This is a big relief for everybody here because if people didn’t have to have official permits to use the service then anybody could just simply offer or choose to use the service on his or her own, without being regulated. One can’t have that here because this would make the people who would otherwise make the regulations and hand out the permits superfluous and also make taxi driving more competitive and even bring down prices for the consumer, without these prices being properly regulated first, I mean. There are a lot of bad implications here, people. So, like I said, strictly forbidden. Or verboten, if you prefer.

And besides, they spell Uber wrong.

„Ubers Geschäftsmodell basiert auf Rechtsbruch.“

Germans Outraged About Greek Finance Minister Giving Them The Finger

Varoufakis

Sort of. Politicians just don’t do that kind of thing, you know.

Steinbrück

It undermines their credibility or something.

Obama

Appearing on German TV on Sunday, Yanis Varoufakis denied that footage showing him raise his middle finger at Berlin was genuine.

This Takes Putin-Understanding To A Whole New Level

Despite recent drawbacks regarding German esteem levels for Russia, Putin-Understanding still seems to be alive and well in Germany. It’s even become more, I dunno, active-like. More than 100 German citizens have joined the ranks of pro-Russian rebel fighters in eastern Ukraine.

Putin-Understanders

Unlike German jihadis who went to fight with the “Islamic State” in Syria, German citizens participating in the conflict in eastern Ukraine did not have to worry about facing prosecution back home…

There are currently many German youths who post pictures of themselves with weapons and uniforms in the Internet, boasting of their participation in the Ukraine struggle. One German has lost his life fighting for the separatists on February 12, research by the German weekly (Die Welt am Sonntag) revealed.

Is This One Of The New Quota Women Already?

Professors are notoriously smart. Especially here in Germany.

University of Leipzig

Take this lady here: An Indian student (the male kind) was denied internship in the biochemistry department at the University of Leipzig by Professor Annette something (the female kind) because of his country’s rape problem. You can reread that if you want to but I ain’t making it up.

Email: “Unfortunately, I don’t accept any Indian male students for internships. We hear a lot about the rape problem in India, which I cannot support. I have many female students in my group, so I think this attitude is something I cannot support.”

“Ich habe diese Mail so nicht geschrieben.”