Maybe The Taliban Could Run For Election Here, Too

September 3, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Horror, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The German election system certainly is a transparent one. It is easy for anyone here who is interested to see, for instance, that Germany’s Bundeswahlleiter (Federal Election Commissioner), whoever that might be, has one hell of a sense of humor.

PLFP

He/she has allowed the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), an Iran-backed terror group, to campaign as a political party in this month’s parliamentary election. The punch line, I guess, or one of them, is that the PFLP plans to run with the Marxist-Leninist Party of Germany.

No one here is interested, however. Why should they be? The PFLP is just another one of those boring, everyday German political parties that puts everybody asleep. Sure, it’s been linked to numerous terror incidents and killings and all that but it’s not like it’s the AfD or anything.

Die MLPD betreibt jetzt Wahlkampf als internationalistische Liste/MLPD, unter anderem mit der palästinensischen Terrororganisation PFLP, die durch Anschläge bekannt wurde.

How Poor Is Germany?

September 1, 2017 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Why Germany is so poor it can’t even put its two cents in the conversation.

EU

Poor? Germany is so poor it scams the Nigerians.

Germany is poor. It’s so poor it drives a Poor-shh.

And to top these jokes off, Germany is so poor that German states like Brandenburg will continue to need aid from the European Union for, like, well… Forever.

Remember: “The state (or in this case the über-suprranational-EU-state) is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.”

Brandenburg darf aus Sicht von Finanzminister Christian Görke (Linke) bei künftigen notwendigen Haushaltseinsparungen der Europäischen Union nicht belastet werden.

Russians Hack German Vote-O-Meter In Futile “Trump For Chancellor” Bid

August 31, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Germany’s infamous Wahl-O.Meter app, a popular program that uses a series of questions to help undecided German voters (some 50 percent of the electorate) find the political party that suits them best, has been compromised by a group of mean and nasty Russian hackers, apparently in a vain attempt to get Donald Trump elected Chancellor of Germany.

Wahl

Unfortunately, however, there is no such thing as a direct ballot for the office of German Chancellor so that “went into the pants” (was a complete flop), as the Germans like to say. But you can’t blame those clever Ruskies for not trying.

Since its inception 15 years ago, the Wahl-O-Mat’s main focus has been to mobilize younger voters. In fact, all 38 questions posed in the app chosen by a group of young and first-time voters. “Young people have contributed towards this product, which is aimed at furthering the political education,” Krüger said. “That is what lies at the very core.”

US-Amerika Somehow Behind AfD’s Rising Popularity

August 30, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Like duh. I suspected it all along. Who else could have possibly been behind it?

AfD

After all, as Spiegel Online reports in its inimitable fashion, the advertising company the Alternative for Germany party has now turned to “has worked with Donald Trump.” So there’s no need to read on. We don’t need to know anything more about them.

To assist in its efforts, the party has tapped Kunkel’s contacts to engage the services of advertising professionals in the United States with experience on the right-wing spectrum. The party is working together with the Texas-based agency Harris Media, which recently presented its plans to the AfD’s national committee. With its provocative and aggressive campaigns, the agency has already contributed to the success of a number of controversial politicians. In Britain, it worked with the anti-EU UKIP party; in Israel, it worked with the governing Likud party; and in the United States, news agency Bloomberg has dubbed company founder Vincent Harris “the man who invented the Republican internet.”

“Burkas? We prefer bikinis.”

German Of The Day: Familienzusammenführung

August 29, 2017 By in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

That means family reunification. And that is what 390,000 Syrian asylum seekers in Germany have now been granted.

Familien

Meaning? Meaning, of course, that 390,000 Syrian families (families, not individuals) still in Syria will now be given asylum in Germany, too (probably to include Cousin It, Uncle Fester und the neighbor’s dog). They will only be staying here temporarily, however. Just like the first wave that organized this second one, see? So it ain’t no big deal or anything. And the German government has money to burn. Or sure seems to.

390 000 Syrer dürfen ihre Familien nachholen.

Do They Have A Marxist-Leninist Animal Protection Party, Too?

August 28, 2017 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

They are an endangered species, after all. Maybe not in Berlin. But everywhere else they are – aren’t they?

Party

German political parties are not as boring as you think they are. They are much more boring than you can possibly imagine. But some of them are also just plain wacky. Wacky and boring. It’s a new level of boring. Wacky-boring, I guess.  I can’t say if it’s higher or lower but it’s a new level.

Take the V-Partei³, for instance. Please. Voters almost across the board can vote for the V-Partei³ (the V-cubed party) – the party for “Veränderung” (“change” in English), Vegetarians and Vegans. Founded in 2016 at the Veggieworld trade fair in Munich, the party has about 1,200 members. By 2030, they’d like to see all butchers go out of business, true to their motto: “We love life.”

Germany’s election campaign is a snooze—just the way Merkel likes it.

Invite Unilaterally, Distribute Fairly

August 27, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

No, that is not an election campaign motto, although it sure could be. That, of course, is the well known thought process (for lack of a better term) behind Angela Merkel’s decision to open Germany’s borders to refugees back in 2015.

Merkel

This thought process was not well thought out, however. To put it mildly.  That Germany is located in the center of Europe and thus far away from Europe’s actual southern border, for example, a border which we have now learned does not even exist, is one itsy bitsy problem here.

Countries like Italy and Greece are completely swampted now, of course. This is because countries like Austria took care of Germany’s problem by closing their borders. Now Angela Merkel is calling once again for a fairer distribution of refugees. Like for the eighty-seventh time already. But it is not clear what she means (what part of no don’t you understand?). Does she mean Italy and Greece when she calls for EU countries to show more solidarity in taking in the refugees? Which refugees does she mean? The million or two who made it into Germany before reality made sure legality got switched back on again – or the latest batch?

Using a complex mathematical formula I have just worked out, I would say that the whole thing is an incredibly big ugly mess caused by no one other than the German chancellor and that it is up to Germany now to take care of this problem. But that’s just me. Elections are approaching in Germany and her popularity here is as high as it has ever been. And no, I don’t have a complex mathematical formula to explain that. I am not in that league.

“I would take all the important decisions of 2015 the same way again.”

Many Sides To Blame

August 25, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hostility, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

What, here in Germany, too? Who would have thought that?

Violence

Germany has banned a far-left internet portal accused of inciting violence and rallying activists who rioted during last month’s G20 summit in Hamburg.

How refreshing. Who says you have to always insist on focusing on the negative news reports out there?

“Für radikale gewaltbereite Extremisten ist in Deutschland kein Platz, egal welche Ausrichtung.”