TTIP Demonstrators Refuse To Let Their Rotten Mood Be Ruined By The Rotten Weather

Fearing that German goods bound for US-Amerika could soon be subjected to lower tariffs, less red tape and a much wider base of consumers to purchase them, tens of thousands of German anti-TTIP demonstrators have taken to the streets to loudly voice their concerns in an hysterical love-fest of classic anti-American blather.

TTIP

Unfortunately, the demonstrators seemed to have dropped the ball when it comes to rabid outbursts directed against the smaller version of TTIP with Canada called CETA. But this is most likely because Canada (another moral superpower like Germany) is bekanntlich (generally known to be) not US-Amerika so that deal is OK or something and will therefore be signed in October.

EU Trade Commissioner Cecilia Malmstrom told Saturday’s Bild daily she was aghast at the “misunderstandings, urban myths and outright lies in the debate” on the merits or otherwise of the treaty.

Berlin Is So Poor…

Poor? The city of Berlin is so poor that it can’t even afford the bullets for its policemen anymore.

Taser

Berlin’s plans to arm police patrols with taser guns would make it the first German state to implement extensive use of the electroshock weapon.

Makes good economic sense to me. Because then all they have to do is just hook them up to solar panels to recharge overnight.

Spätestens seitdem ein Beamter im Juni 2013 einen geistig verwirrten, bewaffneten Mann im Neptunbrunnen in Mitte erschoss, wird die politische Debatte um die Anschaffung der Taser geführt – auch und vor allem im Kontext des grotesk schlechten Zustands der Berliner Schießstände, an denen Polizisten den Einsatz ihrer Waffen in regelmäßigen Abständen trainieren müssen. In den vergangenen zwei Jahren hatten viele Beamte gar nicht mehr mit scharfer Munition üben, sondern lediglich ein Laser-Simulationsschießen als Ersatz absolvieren können.*

* That big long German sentence says, among other things, that Berlin cops don’t even have a decent firing range so they have to practice using laser simulation shooting.

Failed City-State

Take your pick it’s both.

Poor

Other than “poverty, unemployment, poor infrastructure, a floundering education system, debt, the refugee crisis and crime,” and a dozen or two other things nobody wants to address right now, Berlin is a great place to live.

Jeder fünfte Berliner ist einem Zeitungsbericht zufolge arm und verfügt monatlich höchstens über 841 Euro.

173 Stations

And 166 of them are ugly as sin. That’s Berlin’s subway system for you, folks.

Station

But, hey. Beauty is in the eye of the Schwarzfahrer (“black rider” or fare dodger). So enjoy them already or something.

The city’s U-Bahn system also felt the impact of the Berlin Wall, which divided the city for nearly three decades. Many train lines pre-dated the Wall, so some of the West Berlin lines necessarily passed through East Berlin stations. These stations were closed and guarded, and became known as ghost stations. The guards were visible to the West Berlin passengers as the trains slowly moved through the dimly lit stations.  

Would Kilgore Trout Tell A Lie?

It’s special ebook offer time again already, folks. Deal with it.

Dumb Deutsch

Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)

Also at iTunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, etc. For a limited time only or something.

“Very funny book, relating dumb things people say while trying out their high school German. Laughing so hard at my normally quiet workplace I had tears in my eyes, my boss walked by and asked if I was OK. Oh yeah! She has a great sense of humor with an eye toward languages. Buy this book and laugh yourself silly!”

–Kilgore Trout

“This Is Our Street”

The times they are a changin’ in Berlin.

Berlin

“Residents on Soldiner Straße in Gesundbrunnen (Wedding) called the cops on Monday night because children were playing inside a car and had started up the motor repeatedly. A crowd of some 70 people formed around the officers and began behaving aggressively, threatening them. In the early afternoon two days later, also in Gesundbrunnen, a 23-year-old man began interfering with officers who were investigating an infringement. The conflict got physical and one officer was injured. During the arrest, some 30 people began protesting loudly against the police action.”

Nobody is allowed to mention in this article just who these people are, but I’ll give you a hint: They’re not Germans.

Are we having a no-go area yet? I think these folks need more therapy or something.

Erst vor kurzem bedrohte und bedrängte ein aufgebrachter Mob Berliner Polizisten im Wedding. Nun haben sich in demselben Problembezirk abermals Dutzende Menschen der Polizei in den Weg gestellt.

Poor But Sexy, But Poor

Those were the days. Berlin used to be just (arm aber sexy) poor but sexy.

Poor

Now Berlin is poor but sexy, but poor. At least when it comes to trying to earn a living here.

The German capital pulls down the per capita income for the entire country. According to Eurostat (the European statistics office), Germany’s gross national product (with an emphasis on gross) would climb 0.2 percent if they could just find a way to factor out losers like us here in Berlin.

Poor? Yo capital is so poor it can’t afford to pay attention.

Die Hauptstadt drückt auf das Pro-Kopf-Einkommen der gesamten Bundesrepublik: Das Bruttoinlandsprodukt je Einwohner würde um 0,2 Prozent steigen, wenn man Berlin und seine Einwohner ausklammert, wie das Institut der deutschen Wirtschaft (IW) auf Basis von Daten des Europäischen Statistikamtes Eurostat errechnete.

Does The BratWurst Bot Automatically Short-Change You, Too?

Like the guy at my Imbissbude (snack stand) always tries to do, I mean?

BratWurstBot

BratWurst Bot was built using a set of common parts run by a flexible, adaptive software package that can interact with members of the public. It’s based on a Universal Robots UR-10 arm equipped with Schunk PG-70 standard parallel gripper hand and a very standard pair of grill tongs. The bratwursts were conveyed from an ordinary tray to a regular gas grill before being plated and served.

Pokémon Go Away

Pah-lease. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Go

Pokémon Go has officially arrived in Germany, and that means you’re going to be on the hunt for at least the next few days/months. But if you’re anything like us, you probably don’t want to give up partying to become a full-time trainer. Fortunately, if you live in Berlin, you can do both, as the city’s clubs have their own wild Pokémon types, gyms and PokéStops. Of course, some are better than others, and that’s why we went out into the field to check out which clubs in Berlin are best suited for the aspiring Pokémaster.