The Recklinghausen Connection

January 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Films, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Language, Movies, Paris, Refugees, Terror, Terrorism, The French Connection 1 Comment

No, not staring Gene Hackman. This thriller stars an asylum-seeker French police killed as he tried to storm a Paris police station last week.

This guy was registered at a German asylum center in the city of Recklinghausen, had a phone with a German SIM card and carried a paper on him in which he pledged allegiance to the leader of the Islamic State. He had also been registered under four different names in Germany.

I don’t think that’s fair. That a poor refugee gets welcomed to Germany four times like that, I mean. Then there are fewer welcomes left to go around for the next wave of folks that comes in. And the next, and the next…

Der Mann posierte in seiner nordrhein-westfälischen Flüchtlingsunterkunft mit einer IS-Fahne. Die Landesbehörden stuften ihn demnach als Verdachtsfall ein, doch im Dezember 2015 verschwand er spurlos aus Recklinghausen.

PS: There’s this German turn of speech I really like: Ich glaub ich bin im schlechten Film. That means I think I’m in a bad movie. I’ve been hearing it more and more these days, too, for some reason.

New Year’s Eve Offenders Apparently Sold Stolen Cell Phones To Refugees

January 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Refugees, Satire 2 Comments

Spiegel Online reports that investigators in Cologne have gotten a fix on several of the cell phones stolen by the perpetrators of the sexual assault and robery attacks committed against hundreds of women on New Year’s Eve.

The puzzling thing here, said investigators say, is that these phones have all been traced to refugee centers or the immediate vicinities thereof.

It is unclear for the moment just how the offenders were able to sell the cell phones to these unsuspecting refugees so quickly and why they were so unfairly singled out as a target group but a task force led by Benedict Cumberbatch has just been airlifted in to clear up this inexplicable mystery in what we hope will be no time. Or at least pronto.

Inzwischen konnten einige in der Silvesternacht gestohlene Handys geortet werden. In manchen Fällen führte deren Spur in Flüchtlingsheime oder deren unmittelbares Umfeld.

If The Lawsuit Fits, Wear it

January 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Dieselgate, Emissions, German, Germans, Germany, Lawsuits, VW 2 Comments

I’ve got your unresolved emissions issues for you right here, pal.

But what’s $48 billion to Volkswagen? Wait a minute. Actually, wow. That’s quite a bit.

Remember when Germans used to be greener than green?

Although such U.S. lawsuits are typically settled at a fraction of the theoretical maximum penalty, analysts said the size of the claim meant Volkswagen (VW) could face a larger bill than previously anticipated.

If It Looks Like Dog !%#, And Smells Like Dog !%#, Then…

January 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg, New Year's Eve, Refugees, Robbery, Sexual Assault 3 Comments

It’s still not allowed to be called dog !%#*.

Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here. And this has absolutely positively nothing at all to do with Germany’s WAY out of control open-arms refugee policy. So don’t even bring that up.

German officials sought to reassure the public on Tuesday after scores of women reported being sexually assaulted and robbed by what witnesses described as large groups of Middle Eastern-looking men during the New Year celebrations.

While security officials said it was unclear whether the perpetrators were recently arrived migrants, the assault reports are feeding into a simmering debate about the impact of the more-than 1 million refugees who arrived in the country last year, mainly from the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa.

German Of The Day: Wutbürger

January 3, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Elections, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Merkel, Migrants, Political Parties, Refugees Leave a comment

That means outraged citizens. And although they’ve always been around (Germans are always empört/outraged about something), Angela Merkel’s ongoing open-arms refugee policy seems to be generating more and more of them all the time.

And whoopee! 2016 just happens to be a big regional election year. Unless things start to change real fast (ha, ha, ha), I wonder who’s going to be getting all these votes? Not.

Originally founded as a eurosceptic movement a few years ago, the party Alternative for Germany (AfD) came close to its demise – until it split in two. Now, it has experienced a surge in public opinion. Euroscepticism is barely mentioned any more; the new party is acting as an anti-refugee party. If elections were to take place today, the AfD would probably enter parliament with a double-digit election result.

Evil US-Amerikan-NSA-CIA-Creeps Still Invading German Privacy (Along With Their French Counterparts)

January 1, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech Tags: Bombings, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Munich, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

And kept the new year from starting off with a bang in Munich.

“According to information obtained by the ZEIT the warning was also based upon information that came out of the USA. The French authorities were then of the opinion that these warnings fit the information they themselves had gathered.”

Nach Informationen der ZEIT beruht die Warnung auch auf Informationen, die aus den USA kamen. Die französischen Behörden seien demnach der Ansicht gewesen, dass diese Warnungen zu Informationen passten, von denen sie selbst gehört hätten.

Lyrics Aren’t Everything

December 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anthems, German, Germans, Germany, Hymns, Language, Lyrics, Migrants, Muslims, PEGIDA, Refugees, Song Leave a comment

Especially when you don’t have any.

A wordless song released by the anti-Islam group PEGIDA has knocked Adele off the top off the top of Amazon’s German downloads chart.

The song, Gemeinsam sind wir stark! or Together We Are Strong!, is being sold to raise funds for the protest movement, short for Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamisation of the Occident.

“Unfortunately, the product does not work,” Party-Idiot Patriot wrote. “I have repeatedly listened to the song with friends, but we are neither stronger nor more German.”

Now That Christmas Is Over…

December 27, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Austria, Christmas, German, Last Christmas, Radio, Songs, Terror, Wham 1 Comment

We can calmly address this story and all be thankful for not having been subjected to this diabolical madness first hand. It would have been too horrible to contemplate before Christmas Day. What kind of twisted minds think of such things?

Austrian DJ barricades himself in his studio and plays Wham’s Last Christmas 24 times in a row

Die Tür hatte er mit einer Holzlatte versperrt. Unsere Telefonleitung ist fast zusammengebrochen.“ Stoppen konnte den „Last Christmas“-Wahnsinn erst Kohlhofers kleine Tochter (5). Sie rief im Studio an, bat ihn: „Papa, kannst du bitte aufhören. Du machst alle Leute verrückt.“

German Of The Day: Heulsuse

December 26, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: EU, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Migrants, Reem Sahwil, Refugees, Satire Leave a comment

A “howling Susie” is a crybaby here. You know, like that Palestinian refugee girl who just got granted a three-year residence permit for herself and her family for being one?

In a related story, hundreds of thousands of refugees all across Germany have suddenly broken out in a spontaneous public fit of sobbing, bawling and bewailing, the likes of which have never ever been seen or heard before in this country (Germans prefer to spontaneously moan, gripe, grumble and lament loudly in public).

Bei einer Veranstaltung mit Kanzlerin Angela Merkel (61, CDU) im Juli brach sie vor laufender Kamera in Tränen aus: Merkel hatte ihr erklärt, dass Deutschland Flüchtlinge zurückschicken müsse, wenn sie keinen Anspruch auf Bleiben hätten. Auch Reems Fall werde ganz normal geprüft und könne so enden.

Edumacated Germans To Smart Four So-So Media

December 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Education, Facebook, German, Germans, Germany, OECD, Social Media, Society, Studies, Twitter Leave a comment

You know, like Tweeter and all that stuff?

Uh oh. Just look at that chart. Yet another German Alleingang (solo action), or what?

Statistics show that unlike other industrial nations, more highly-educated Germans avoid social networks than people with little or no education.

“This mixture of protectionism and distaste for communication organized through the market economy makes the educated classes see the power of social media more as a threat than an opportunity.”

Mehr Bildung = weniger Social Media. Jedenfalls in Deutschland

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: German