I don’t understand this but I’m sure it means something. The Headless Anchorman?
Stay tuned or something.
Schuhe, Hose, und das war’s: Ein Mann oben ohne – also ohne Oberkörper – ist bei den “Tagesthemen” am Sonntagabend um 22.45 Uhr aufgetaucht.
Tag Archives: German
Are We Having An Ugly American Border Wall Yet?
Yeah, I know that this question has already been posted before but now it looks like reality has finally caught up with Germany.
Sorry, I meant it looks like Germany has finally caught up with reality, of course.
Germany’s police union chief has called for a fence to be built along the country’s border to stem the flow of migrants. Rainer Wendt told the “Welt am Sonntag” newspaper that other countries would then follow suit.
In an interview with the Sunday newspaper “Welt am Sonntag,” Wendt insisted that tough measures – like the construction of a fence along the border with Austria – were vital for the country “to carry out serious border controls.”
Deutschland stehe vor sozialen Unruhen, warnte der Gewerkschaftschef. Daher müsse die Notbremse gezogen werden.
PS: Thanks a lot for this link, A.K.:
Germany makes the best fences in the world and sells them everywhere. For instance, it was Munich-based Airbus Defence and Space that designed Saudi Arabia’s €3.4 billion border fence with Iraq, which works perfectly.
So when German mainstream politicians assert that fences don’t work, we should treat them the same way as Soviet economists saying in 1988 that the five-year plan has been gloriously fulfilled. If fences don’t work, why do Germans spend billions a year building and maintaining them all over Germany?
German Of The Day: DFB
That stands for Designed for Bribery.
No, wait. Deceit, Fraud and Blackmail? How about Deception, Fleece and Breach of Trust? Duped, Framed and Bamboozled? OK, OK. DFB stands for Deutscher Fußballbund or the German Football Association. Whichever comes first.
The German Football Association (DFB) is investigating whether a €6.7million payment made to FIFA in 2005 was mis-used. The issue came to light as part of an internal audit carried out by the DFB into the awarding of the 2006 World Cup to Germany.
Der Deutsche Fußball-Bund gibt bekannt, dass eine Zahlung in Höhe von 6,7 Millionen Euro an die Fifa im Jahr 2005 womöglich zweckentfremdet worden sein könnte.
“Friends Don’t Spy On Friends”
So that’s why Germany’s BND spied on EU neighbors and US-Amerika itself, I guess.
The German magazine Der Spiegel has reported that Germany’s Federal Intelligence Service (BND) spied on European and American organizations until 2013.
To what depths have you sunk, Germany? A spy agency that actually spies on people? What will be next? A military that actually goes to war? A border patrol that actually protects your borders? Granted, all of this remains well within the realm of science fiction but we ARE still allowed to speculate about crazy un-German ideas like these in public here. Aren’t we?
So. I assume now that everybody in Germany is going to be REALLY REALLY empört (outraged) about this. Although you know what they say about you when you assume things. How you make an ass- out of u and -me?
Abhören unter Freunden – das geht doch: Ähnlich wie die NSA hat offenbar auch der BND die Kommunikation befreundeter EU-Staaten ausgespäht. Ziele der Spionage waren laut rbb Inforadio offenbar europäische und amerikanische Einrichtungen.
German Thoroughness Grossing Refugees Out
It’s taking too long to get their asylum papers processed, you see. So now they’re suing. And winning, of course.
A Somali man has won his suit against the German government for failure to act on his asylum application. Despite their increased workload, the federal office for refugees now has three months to decide his fate.
It’s one thing to flee for your life and seek refuge in a country that is apparently willing to help you out. It’s quite another thing to actually have to wait for months until your paperwork gets processed. That’s unmenschlich (inhuman) or something. Just call Larry the Lawyer. He’ll make it happen.
“Sie behandeln uns wie in Syrien.”
Just In Case You Were Wondering
German playmates will continue to take their clothes off. For as long as the German Playboy manages to stay solvent, at least.
And yikes! You will still need to wear sunglasses when paging through the damned thing (why are German girls so… shiny?).
In Germany, too, nudity and porn is accessible on the Internet, and the magazine’s circulation numbers are steadily declining as well. In the fourth quarter of 2009, Playboy Germany sold 256,866 issues. By the second quarter of 2015, this number had decreased to 167,700 issues, according to German statistics portal Statista.
You’re now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it’s just passé at this juncture.
Boizenburg
Beautiful German arson attack of the week.
Because somebody has to notice they’re happening.
Ursachensuche nach Feuer in geplantem Flüchtlingsheim
What Germans Brought To Amerika?
Other than bitching and moaning, you mean?
Whah? There’s a German-American Day? I had no idea, again. Too bad I missed the celebrations this year, too.
Hmmm. What did they bring to us (as in US), anyway? Well, there’s aspirin for one thing, for when the bitching and moaning gets to be too much. Gimme a minute. Gimme a minute, I said. OK, there’s the ring binder. That’s pretty cool. They also brought us the hair perm – and the Easter Bunny himself! Then there’s German chocolate cake. Ha, ha. Just kidding. A German doesn’t know what the hell German chocolate cake is, people. That’s as American as apple pie. Anyway, yeah. You know. They brought us stuff like that. And a lot of bitching and moaning, too. Happy holiday.
From Kindergarten and Christmas trees to hamburgers and hotdogs, German-Americans are credited with some of the most recognizable features of US culture to have emerged in the past 300 years.
Less than 5% now speak German themselves.
501 German Oddities For HOW Much?
For only 99 cents? Why, that’s… 5.060606060606061 oddities per cent! A pretty high percentage of oddities there, I’d say. For the penny, I mean.
And worth every penny, too. Just ask Marina. If you happen to know her, I mean:
“Hermann, thank you for your blog and books, I am hooked. I recently picked up 501 German Oddities and couldn’t stop laughing. I am German, but live in Boston with my husband, who is from the area and grew up here. We cracked up so many times and just had a blast reading your book. It was actually eye opening at times to the both of us and explained some “odd” behaviors of mine to him. Super grateful for the book and can’t wait to see more blog entries. All the best, Marina.”
Sale ends next week! So hurry or something.
PS: Also available at Smashwords, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Scribd, etc.
German Of The Day: Pomadig
That means pomade-like. As in: all hair products, no killer instinct. “Pomadig means passionless, combined with a shot of arrogance,” it added. “It’s a combination with which you can lose a match against these wild, fighting, rocketing Irish.”
Sometimes defeat is unnecessary. Other times it’s completely unnecessary.
German reaction to defeat: ‘Das dumme Ding von Dublin’
Observing Hermann 