German Of The Day: Verantwortbarkeit, Verantwortlichkeit und Rechenschaft

June 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Accountability, Brexit, Brussels, Democracy, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Language Leave a comment

Take your pick, all three mean accountability. Sort of.

You know, like the kind of political accountability the British just voted to get back again? They soon won’t have to comply to the whims of unelected Eurocrats anymore.

Funny, but in German (and in other European languages, it seems) there does not seem to be a clear-cut translation for that very simple word.

Großbritannien wird aus der EU austreten und erschüttert damit den Staatenbund in seinen Grundfesten. Es ist die größte Krise der EU in ihrer bisherigen Geschichte. Jetzt greift Plan B, doch gibt es den überhaupt? Bislang scheint niemand genau zu wissen, wie es weitergeht, der Schock steht den führenden Politikern Europas ins Gesicht geschrieben.

The Germans Don’t Want Brexit?

June 22, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology Tags: Brexit, Germans, Germany Leave a comment

Depends upon which ones you ask.

“The sworn horror scenarios are nonsense. If the Brits want to leave the E.U., they should go.”

Stay tuned or something.

Is Nothing Sacred?

June 21, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: FKK, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Nudists, Nudity, Refugees 1 Comment

Talk about crossing a red line. Now all bets are off, people.

The influx of more than 1m migrants has already divided Germany. But the latest row casts it as a threat to the very heart of German culture: the right to walk around in public in the nude.

Nudists at a club near the historic town of Meissen were incensed when they received new rules from the local authority suggesting they would not be allowed to swim naked in the local lake where they have been skinny-dipping for over a century.

Neues aus Absurdistan. “Wir bewegen uns seit 1905 nackt im Gelände.”

German Of The Day: Arbeitslos

June 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Euro 2016, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Koalas, Language, Oracles, Soccer, Zoos Leave a comment

That means unemployed. You know, like this loser of a European Football Championship koala oracle at the Leipzig Zoo?

„Oobi-Ooobi’s” job was to predict the outcome of the German team’s soccer matches and after two big flops in a row they fired his furry Australian ass. Dumb animal You have to perform over here in this part of the world, pal. And there is no such thing as free eucalyptus.

„Der unparteiische Australier zieht die Konsequenzen aus seinen beiden falschen Tipps. Als sportlich fairer Verlierer überlässt er das Orakeln ab sofort den Anderen.“

NATO Picking On Russia Again

June 19, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Appeasement, Crimea, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, NATO, Pacifism, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

And warmongering. Just ask German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD).

“What we should not do now is inflame the situation with sabre-rattling and warmongering,” he said. The “situation” being Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its continued military intervention in Ukraine, which is apparently something other than sabre-rattling and warmongering when viewed from Berlin.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East. But despite all the rhetoric, the German foreign ministry assures the world that Germany’s mighty army, a formidable threat to Russia, will be there for its allies whenever it should be needed.

Was wir jetzt nicht tun sollten, ist durch lautes Säbelrasseln und Kriegsgeheul die Lage weiter anzuheizen.

Remember: These Folks Don’t Represent All Muslims Living In Germany

June 17, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Islam, Law, Muslims, Radical Islam, Religion, State, Turkey, Turks Leave a comment

They only represent about HALF of all the MODERATE ones: Nearly half of Turkish immigrants in Germany put Islam above law.

That’s right. The latest Emnid poll indicates that 47 per cent of the more than three million Turkish citizens living in Germany admit following their religion was “more important” than obeying “the laws of the land in which I live”.

32 per cent said they yearn to live in a society of the times of the Prophet Mohammed.

I guess we don’t even want to know what the radical Muslims out there are thinking. Like duh. We already do.

36 Prozent der Befragten überzeugt, nur der Islam könne die Probleme der Zeit lösen. 47 Prozent halten die Gebote des Islams für wichtiger als die deutschen Gesetze.

Volkswagen To Build E-Cars

June 16, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Diesel, Dieselgate, E-cars, Electricity, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Volkswagen 2 Comments

But they haven’t figured out how to equip them with diesel emissions test cheating software yet.

The sleazy, crooked, dirtball of a company also hopes to introduce more self-driving vehicles in the near future. If those work out, self-purchasing models will be the next logical step. And after that, who knows? The Welt or something.

Volkswagen unveiled a plan for the next decade containing culture change, as it strives to compete in an industry moving towards e-cars, self-driving systems and on-demand mobility – all while it deals with Dieselgate.

Mit Elektroautos in die Zukunft!

The Spy Who Got Left Out In The Cold

June 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Honorary Degrees, Rostock, Spies, Whistleblowing 2 Comments

Crazy court rulings these days, I tell ya. One court here in Germany, for instance, just ruled that Edward Snowden HIMSELF cannot receive an honorary degree from the University of Rostock

This is because – now get this – providing controversial and politically charged intelligence service data does not constitute a scientific achievement.

What do ya thinka that? What a bunch of jurisprudence. Why, that’s absolutely positively, uh… Wait a minute. Sure makes sense to me, come to think of it (is that why this court decision is so outrageous?). But now let’s move on. So who the hell are these wackos from the University of Rostock?

Ist die Bereitstellung brisanter Geheimdienst-Daten eine besondere wissenschaftliche Leistung oder nicht?

More Gun Control Needed

June 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Language, Weapons Leave a comment

In Germany.

The citizens of this predominantly pacifist nation still refuse to address this very grave issue (no pun intended) in any meaningful way and therefore remain the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms.* Again and again and again. Like, when will they ever learn?

The only nations that export more arms than the Germans are US-Amerika and Russia, much more violent and less enlightened societies that have not yet learned to make atonement for their dreadful, awful pasts like Germany has – thus making it OK for them to be the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms, I assume. Es ist einfach kompliziert (it’s simply complicated) over here sometimes. No, make that all the time.

Die umstrittenen Lieferungen an Saudi-Arabien haben dazu beigetragen, dass Deutschland 2015 drittgrößter Waffenexporteur war.

*And tanks. And submarines. You know. And other stuff like that?

Confused Green Youth These Days

June 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Euro 2016, Fans, Flag-waving, Flags, Football, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Nationalism, Patriotism, Political Parties, Soccer, Sports Leave a comment

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germans