Our Espionage Doesn’t Stink

May 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: BND, CIA, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Security, Spying, Terrorism 1 Comment

On the one hand, we as German spies only do nice spying and would never spy on friends much less on other other nice Germans like ourselves.

“But on the other hand, intelligence agencies are working to ensure the public’s safety and the German government will do everything it can to ensure that it can carry out its job.

“And this ability to carry out its duties in the face of international terrorism threats is done in cooperation with other intelligence agencies, and that includes first and foremost the NSA.”

Deutschland regt sich über eine Spionageaffäre auf. Dabei wäscht seit Jahrzehnten unter den westlichen Diensten eine Hand die andere. Wir sollten endlich realistisch mit dem Thema Sicherheit umgehen.

German Of The Day: Krawalltourismus

May 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anarchism, Berlin, Demonstrations, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Riots, Violence, Workers Leave a comment

That means “violent demonstration tourism,” more or less. And May Day (or International Workers’ Day) is booked out completely for this every year in Berlin.

These international workers are off that day, you see. And it’s a bewitching event that these folks just can’t afford to miss. You know, tradition and all that?

Weder mystisch noch romantisch. Für die Berliner Polizei steht run um die Maifeiertage viel Arbeit an.

Germans Can’t Figure Out Why Germans Keep Disappearing

April 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Aging, Birth Rates, Demographics, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, Interventionism, Satire, Sex Education 6 Comments

Suffering from one of the lowest birth rates in the EU and xenophobic to the core (although officially in denial about this), Germans everywhere (or at least where you can still find them) are puzzled by the continued drop in Germany’s population.

Federal statistics office Destatis said Germany was expected to have between 68 and 73 million inhabitants by 2060, compared to its current 81 million.

I think it’s time for even more concentrated government intervention, don’t you? More sex education efforts, for instance.

“It won’t fall below the 2013 level until at least 2023.”

German Intelligence Insults German Intelligence

April 24, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: BND, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Intelligence, NSA, Spying 1 Comment

When the NSA asks for INFO from the BND they get it ASAP. Or at least they used to.

Germany’s intelligence service, the Bundesnachrichtendienst (BND), has been helping the NSA spy on European politicians and companies for years, according to the German news magazine Der Spiegel. The NSA has been sending lists of “selectors”—identifying telephone numbers, e-mail and IP addresses—to the BND, which then provides related information that it holds in its surveillance databases…

Investigators found that the BND had provided information on around 2,000 selectors that were clearly against European and German interests. Not only were European businesses such as the giant aerospace and defense company EADS, best-known as the manufacturer of the Airbus planes, targeted, so were European politicians—including German ones.

I still can’t figure out where the intelligence part comes in here.

What Would Gazprom Gerd Do?

April 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Antitrust Proceedings, EU, Gazprom, Gerhard Schroeder, German, Germans, Germany, Putin Leave a comment

Or what will he do, I should ask. Duh. Talk about your no-brainer. You can say what you want about Gerd, but at least he’s consistent.

The European Union has accused Russian energy giant OAO Gazprom of hindering competition and charging unfair prices in the natural-gas markets of Central and Eastern Europe, in a move that risks deepening a rift with Moscow.

“Gazprom has been able to charge higher prices in some countries without fearing gas would flow in from resellers or where the prices were lower.”

Wer ein Staatsunternehmen straft, meint auch den Staat. Moskau versteht die Botschaft des Kartellverfahrens gegen den russischen Gas-Giganten sehr wohl – und wird antworten.

It’s TTIP, All Right

April 21, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Cecilia Malmstroem, EU, Europe, Free Trade, German, Germans, Germany, Hysteria, ISDS, Merkel, Protest, Schizophrenia, SPD, TTIP 1 Comment

It’s TTIP of your normal-everyday-hysterical-German-anti-American iceberg.

“All this enters the debate, but it surprises me a bit that the resistance is so strong in a country like Germany, where the benefits will be the greatest.”

The most controversial element of TTIP is a plan to let companies have legal disputes with governments heard by supra-national tribunals, which campaigners say would undermine national sovereignty and favour big business.

The so-called investor-state dispute settlement, or ISDS, allows firms to sue national governments if they feel that local rulings — such as health and safety regulations — violate the trade deal and threaten their investments.

The courts are a critical issue for US negotiators, who underline that these types of panels have existed for decades and are already included in thousands of trade deals worldwide, including about 400 in Europe.

„Dabei ist es geradezu bizarr, dass die Debatte in Deutschland so aufgeheizt ist: Schließlich profitiert kein Land so stark von TTIP wie Deutschland.”

German Of The Day: Alleingang

April 19, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Environment, Europe, Free Trade, German, Germans, Germany, GM Foods, Language, Paranoia, Protest, SPD, Trade, TTIP, USA Leave a comment

An ancient German tradition, Alleingänge are when Germans, as Germans, go it alone.

In this particular case it has to do with their Empörung (another traditional German word meaning indignation or outrage) about TTIP, a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Strangely, much like their hysterical reaction to Fukushima and subsequent Alleingang out of nuclear power, no one else in Europe really understands what their concern is all about.

These protestors aim to change that, however. Germany’s fellow Europeans, they feel, clearly do not seem to understand what this treaty is really about: It is a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Hello? Is anyone home out there? A trade deal with the United States? As in US-Amerika?

“The U.S. push for world domination is unacceptable. Obama sends out drones to kill people and wins the Nobel peace prize. This has to stop.”

German Of The Day: Männerfreundschaft

April 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Beer, Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Propaganda, Putin, Saunas, Ukraine 2 Comments

That means male bonding or man-to-man friendship.

But, like, not all of these German Putin understanders are men, are they?

He (Putin) also spoke how he and former German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (some call him Gazprom Gerd) were in a sauna when a fire broke out. Both escaped, but Schroeder insisted on finishing his beer first, Mr Putin said.

Auf die Frage der Moderatorin, ob Putin viel mit seinen politischen Freunden in die Sauna gehe und das Dampfbad den klassischen Konferenztischen vorziehe, erzählte Putin folgende Geschichte mit Alt-Bundeskanzler Gerhard Schröder:

„Ich saß mit meinem Freund in der Sauna in meiner Residenz, plötzlich fing es an zu brennen. Ich sagte: ‚Gerhard, es brennt, wir müssen hier raus.‘ Er sagte: ‚Es tut mir leid, aber vorher trinke ich mein Bier noch zu Ende.‘ Ich sagte: ‚Bist du verrückt? Es brennt, wir müssen hier raus.‘ Er ist ein eiserner Mann. Er hat tatsächlich sein Bier ausgetrunken und wir sind dann erst raus. Die Sauna brannte bis auf die Mauern nieder. Aber eigentlich gehe ich gern in die Sauna.“

She’s Not Even Showing Her Bazoobies

April 16, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: ECB, Femen, German, Germans, Germany, Josephine Witt, Mario Draghi, Nudity, Protest, Sextivists Leave a comment

What’s the point of that?

Femen women these days. They used to take this kind of thing much more seriously. But now? Once sextivists start throwing confetti at adversaries without even bothering to take their tops off then I say this movement has jumped the shark.

“The confetti attack was not a #femen protest, I’m sorry ladies. I consider myself a freelance-activist. Free Riot!”

More State Supported Terrorism

April 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Abou Nagie, Cologne, Fraud, German, Germans, Germany, Hartz IV, Hatemongers, Islamists, Salafists, Terrorists, Welfare 3 Comments

Only this time it’s the German state doing it.

It’s bad enough that hatemonger Salafist preacher man Abou Nagie wants to turn Germany into an Islamic theocracy – and that’s pretty bad if you stop to think about it for a bit – now it looks like he’s also been ripping off the German welfare system ITSELF in the process. Big-time-like, even. How unethical or something.

While somehow managing to forget about reporting his real earned income (Islamic hate sales are big on the Internet these days), he has taken in over 54,000 euros in Hartz IV (German welfare). The German state has been paying him and his family 1,860 euros a month for quite some time now. The leasing rates for his Mercedes were booked from an accomplice’s account, however.

And this guy calls himself a good Christian?

Laut diesem Buch kommen alle Nicht-Muslime in die Hölle.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habitudes