That Was Close

Just in time, people. Brussels has just proudly and loudly announced that it plans to encourage and better protect whistleblowers in order to help them “bring light to scandals that would otherwise remain in the dark.” You know, like the Facebook thing, the Panama Papers, scandals like that. Or maybe like this one right down here?

EU

“Experts Strongly Suspect Corruption in the European Council.” Several members of the European Council are suspected of having taken bribes from Azerbaijan in exchange for political support.

Perfect. They really think these things through, don’t they? So now it’s time to step up to the plate and start shedding some light on this for us, European Council whistleblowers. But don’t worry. Brussels will protect you. Oh, I forgot. You are Brussels. Why, see? Then there’s even less for you to worry about.

“Es sollte keine Strafe dafür geben, das Richtige zu tun.”

Perfect For The Job

As head of a “worker’s” party like Germany’s SPD, I mean: Somebody who has never worked a day in her life.

Nahles

Folks like that know best how to distribute/redistribute other people’s money. I guess this election means that the SPD commrades want to stretch out their party’s long and excruciating terminal illness for as long as they possibly can. Good choice, workers. She is clearly the best man for the job.

Andrea Nahles has become the first woman to lead Germany’s Social Democrats — though by a disappointing margin of votes…

After garnering a meager 66.35 percent of delegate support at a special conference in the western German city of Wiesbaden on Sunday, Andrea Nahles takes over a Social Democratic Party (SPD) in an unprecedented crisis.

Scarcely a year ago, SPD delegates had unanimously elected Martin Schulz, the longtime president of the European Parliament, as party leader and chancellor candidate. The result was a historic national electoral debacle against Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats (CDU), leaving the SPD deeply divided over policy and personnel.

After initial refusals, party leaders decided to extend the grand coalition with Merkel’s CDU and Bavaria’s Christian Social Union, which allies with the chancellor’s conservatives. Nahles’ job is to remake and re-energize the SPD while ensuring that its cabinet ministers can do their jobs with minimum of interference by fellow Social Democrats.

“Solidarity is one of the main things missing in this globalized, neoliberal turbocharged world.”

Disproportionate Reporting Of Crimes Committed By Migrants In Germany?

I suppose that’s true, but not in the way you would think.

Media

There are “disproportionate,” near daily state TV and news reports that point their fingers at migrant perpetrators – by going out of their way not to point their fingers at migrant perpatrators. It’s an embarassingly simple code that everybody here was able to crack in no time.

By reporting, for instance, that “a man stabbed his daughter at a local shopping center” and refusing to give any names or indicating directly that the man was a German, everyone knows who this guy is, his background.

So, yes. Disproportionate it is. The number of crimes committed by migrants reported in the news, I mean. But you can see by the way these crimes are reported that the media is not making them up (for once?). They’re just covering them up.

The somewhat dubious concept of lawless areas in Germany has been promoted in no small part by disproportionate reporting of crimes committed by migrants and foreigners in popular media, particularly outlets like Bild.

PS: The first article I read made no indication as to who the perpetrator was. A later one did indicate – at the very bottom of the article – that father and daughter were Turkish citizens.

German Of The Day: Kristallklar

That means crystal-clear. You know, like Germany’s policy of backing the airstrikes in Syria as “necessary and appropriate” – immediately after they have taken place?

Germany

This “hat Hand und Fuß” (has hand and foot = rhyme and reason) as immediately before they took place Germany made clear that it would not participate or support these airstrikes in any way. Being a responsible ally with clear conviction beforehand was apparently neither “necessary” nor “appropriate,” you see.

No one here or anywhere else bats an eye at this strange logic (some would call it a contradiction) much less critisizes it because German policy in matters like these where something is asked or expected of them is always contradictory – and no one here or anywhere else very much seems to care. The German conviction is to freeload, in other words. Or perhaps this confusion is not a contradiction at all, just another complex nuance of the German language.

“We support the fact that our American, British and French allies have taken responsibility in this way as permanent members of the UN Security Council.”

Columbia

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Sig Sauer

Because somebody has to admire them.

Looks like Sig Sauer might  get fined twelve million euros for illegally selling 36,000 handguns to Columbia.

Nach vier Jahren Ermittlungen gibt es eine Anklage gegen Sig Sauer. Eine Strafe von zwölf Millionen Euro droht: Der Waffenhersteller in Eckernförde soll über die USA illegal mehr als 36 000 Pistolen nach Kolumbien verkauft haben. Sig Sauer sieht sich «rechtskonform».

Save Chico!

But always keep him fed really, really well, OK?

Chico

It’s German oddity time again. They may not care much for humans but when it comes to dogs they’re, well, nuts. More like wacko, really. Bonkers, if you get my drift. And that dogs are welcome in restaurants here is the least of it. Chico up there, for instance, gets to eat anything he wants anywhere he wants anytime he wants – his owners included.

Members of the public in Germany have launched an online petition to stop Chico the dog from being put down after he mauled his disabled owner and her son to death last week.

The owners, named by authorities as Lezime K, 52, and her son Liridon, 27, were found dead on the floor of their Hanover home after Chico attacked them last Tuesday.

But authorities have been forced to reconsider whether to put the dog down after more than 250,000 signed a petition to let him live (they think the city should have known that the dog was dangerous – your own stupid decisions are always somebody else’s fault over here).

Warum tun diese Hunde das?

German Of The Day: Bratwurst

That means bratwurst. Oh, brother. Dopey Americans eating goofy German food.

“It smells like prune juice and beer had a baby.”

Amerikaner mögen Pizza, Burger und Cola. Was passiert aber, wenn sie deutsches Essen probieren? Was halten sie von Vitamalz, Lakritze und Bratwurst? Ein Youtube-Video zeigt die Antwort.

 

Israel

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Israel

Because somebody has to admire them.

The contract will be signed in the coming weeks, German parliament member Fritz Felgentreu, responsible for defense affairs in the German Social Democratic Party, told “Globes.”

The German Ministry of Defense estimates the cost of the agreement, which includes leasing five Heron TP UAVs manufactured by IAI in cooperation with Airbus, at €1 billion over nine years.

German Of The Day: Ausbeutung

That means exploitation. You know, like the exploitation of our planet’s natural resources?

Salad

The nerve of mad German scientists these days. Growing salad in Antarctica like that. They should be ashamed. There are German Greens. Then there are German greens.

Antarctica is not the most likely place to find fresh ingredients for a salad. But German scientists have just collected — and eaten — their first batch of lettuce, cucumbers and radishes from a new greenhouse on the frozen continent.

The shipping container-size greenhouse, called EDEN ISS, was installed in February about a quarter-mile (400 meters) from the research station, which is located on the Ekström Ice Shelf. The food-growing lab is providing welcome fresh veggies for Gropp and his other isolated colleagues during long missions in Antarctica. But EDEN ISS has a loftier mission; the facility is an experiment led by the German Aerospace Center (DLR) designed to test the best methods for cultivating crops for astronauts.

But Nobody Said We Couldn’t Do It Until Now

Trump is right about trade and Merkel needs to do something about it, former German state secretary says.

Trade

In early March, Trump started by implementing tariffs on aluminum and steel imports — measures that did not represent a big impact for China, but did for countries like Japan and potentially Europe too.

Germany has also faced international criticism for its trade surplus, which means its exports outweigh its imports, as some see it as unfair, imbalanced and a cause for protectionism elsewhere.

“Germany is really out there as the main culprit, so to say, because Germany has the highest surplus, much higher than China in terms of GDP… Germany has to do something against it, that’s absolutely clear,”