If It Looks Like Dog !%#, And Smells Like Dog !%#, Then…

January 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg, New Year's Eve, Refugees, Robbery, Sexual Assault 3 Comments

It’s still not allowed to be called dog !%#*.

Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here. And this has absolutely positively nothing at all to do with Germany’s WAY out of control open-arms refugee policy. So don’t even bring that up.

German officials sought to reassure the public on Tuesday after scores of women reported being sexually assaulted and robbed by what witnesses described as large groups of Middle Eastern-looking men during the New Year celebrations.

While security officials said it was unclear whether the perpetrators were recently arrived migrants, the assault reports are feeding into a simmering debate about the impact of the more-than 1 million refugees who arrived in the country last year, mainly from the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa.

German Of The Day: Wutbürger

January 3, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Elections, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Merkel, Migrants, Political Parties, Refugees Leave a comment

That means outraged citizens. And although they’ve always been around (Germans are always empört/outraged about something), Angela Merkel’s ongoing open-arms refugee policy seems to be generating more and more of them all the time.

And whoopee! 2016 just happens to be a big regional election year. Unless things start to change real fast (ha, ha, ha), I wonder who’s going to be getting all these votes? Not.

Originally founded as a eurosceptic movement a few years ago, the party Alternative for Germany (AfD) came close to its demise – until it split in two. Now, it has experienced a surge in public opinion. Euroscepticism is barely mentioned any more; the new party is acting as an anti-refugee party. If elections were to take place today, the AfD would probably enter parliament with a double-digit election result.

Evil US-Amerikan-NSA-CIA-Creeps Still Invading German Privacy (Along With Their French Counterparts)

January 1, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech Tags: Bombings, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Munich, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

And kept the new year from starting off with a bang in Munich.

“According to information obtained by the ZEIT the warning was also based upon information that came out of the USA. The French authorities were then of the opinion that these warnings fit the information they themselves had gathered.”

Nach Informationen der ZEIT beruht die Warnung auch auf Informationen, die aus den USA kamen. Die französischen Behörden seien demnach der Ansicht gewesen, dass diese Warnungen zu Informationen passten, von denen sie selbst gehört hätten.

No “High Abstract Threat” Here

December 31, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking Tags: Berlin, Brandenburg Gate, Firworks, New Year's Eve 1 Comment

These puppies will blow your fingers clean off.

You folks have a Happy New Year anyway!

In der Hauptstadt werden mehrere Hunderttausend Menschen auf einer rund zwei Kilometer langen Feiermeile zwischen Brandenburger Tor und Siegessäule erwartet. Hinweise auf konkrete Anschlagsplanungen in Berlin gebe es nicht, betonte ein Polizeisprecher. Es herrsche aber eine hohe abstrakte Gefährdung.

Lyrics Aren’t Everything

December 30, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anthems, German, Germans, Germany, Hymns, Language, Lyrics, Migrants, Muslims, PEGIDA, Refugees, Song Leave a comment

Especially when you don’t have any.

A wordless song released by the anti-Islam group PEGIDA has knocked Adele off the top off the top of Amazon’s German downloads chart.

The song, Gemeinsam sind wir stark! or Together We Are Strong!, is being sold to raise funds for the protest movement, short for Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamisation of the Occident.

“Unfortunately, the product does not work,” Party-Idiot Patriot wrote. “I have repeatedly listened to the song with friends, but we are neither stronger nor more German.”

Edumacated Germans To Smart Four So-So Media

December 22, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Education, Facebook, German, Germans, Germany, OECD, Social Media, Society, Studies, Twitter Leave a comment

You know, like Tweeter and all that stuff?

Uh oh. Just look at that chart. Yet another German Alleingang (solo action), or what?

Statistics show that unlike other industrial nations, more highly-educated Germans avoid social networks than people with little or no education.

“This mixture of protectionism and distaste for communication organized through the market economy makes the educated classes see the power of social media more as a threat than an opportunity.”

Mehr Bildung = weniger Social Media. Jedenfalls in Deutschland

Rejected Asylum Seeker Problem To Be Solved In No Time

December 21, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees, Syria Leave a comment

In no geologic time, I mean.

Wow. “Germany reports doubling of deportation numbers 2015” to more than 18,000 rejected asylum seekers, the headline goes. So, in other words, take a chill pill and relax already everybody. At this rate the rest of those to be rejected – from the 1,000,000+++ that have arrived so far in Germany this year – ought to be back home again by Easter, thus reducing the number remaining to 1,000,000++ (that’s minus one +). From the 2015 number, I mean. Next year all bets are off, however.

In 2014, German authorities registered 10,884 deportations. This year, the number rose to 18,363 until the end of November, the interior ministry said.

We Always Knew This Guy Didn’t Have Any Balls

December 20, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, History Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Hitler, Songs, Testicles 2 Comments

Now it’s official.

Analysis of long-lost medical notes seems to confirm that Nazi leader suffered from cryptorchidism, or an undescended right testicle.

Schon seit über 70 Jahren halten sich die hartnäckigen Gerüchte, Adolf Hitler hätte nur einen Hoden gehabt. Britische Soldaten schmetterten im Zweiten Weltkrieg den Schmähgesang “Hilter has only got one ball” (zu deutsch: Hitler hat nur ein Ei).

German ISIS Terrorist Comes Clean, Has Face And Most Of Last Name Removed

December 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Harry S., Homegrown Terrorism, ISIS, Syria, Terror Attacks, Terrorism, Terrorists Leave a comment

Harry S., after all, is more than just a witness to firing squads and decapitations. He also says that on several occasions, IS members tried to recruit volunteers for terrorist attacks in Germany. In the spring, just after he first arrived in Syria, he says that he and another Islamist from Bremen were asked if they could imagine perpetrating attacks in Germany. Later, when he was staying not far from Raqqa, the self-proclaimed Islamic State capital city, masked men drove up in a jeep. They too asked him if he was interested in bringing the jihad to his homeland. Harry S. says he told them that he wasn’t prepared to do so.

“Merkel, you dirty dog, We will take revenge.”

Germans Have Nothing To Fear But Angst Itself

December 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Angst, German, Germans, Germany, Polls, Psychology, Satire, Surveys Leave a comment

German Angstforscher (fear research specialists) at the GfK research institute in Nuremberg have determined that the majority of Germans polled are fearful about the coming year, up nearly double from last year’s survey.

This immediately made the Germans reading these results even more ängstlich (fearful), screwing up the survey for the 69th year running.

Researchers then tried calming everybody down again by explaining to them that these types of studies have certain weaknesses and should not be taken at face value. Many of the Germans they attempt to survey, for instance, suddenly break out in a wild panic and run away in terror before completing the questionnaires. So the numbers could actually be a lot worse or something, they said.

The poll, carried out by the German market research institute GfK on behalf of the Hamburg BAT Foundation for Future Studies, found that 55 percent of Germans are fearful about the coming year, up from 31 percent last year, and 28 percent in 2013.

“Donald Trump hätte auch bei uns gute Chancen.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hard Facts