The 30 Percent Solution

That’s how much more German households will likely have to pay for energy in the coming years due to the country’s way cool “energy turnaround.”

Investments of at least 150 billion euros will be needed in the next few years and that’s just the beginning and absolutely positively nothing is working out reibungslos (smoothly) as not planned. And that’s the crux of the biscuit: This is what happens when you do your panicked decision making first and your planning later.

“Wir müssen davon ausgehen, dass die Gestaltung der Energiewende länger dauert als geplant.”

The Symptoms Of The Times

Withdrawal, I am told, can refer to any sort of separation, but is most commonly used to describe the group of symptoms that occurs upon the abrupt discontinuation/separation or a decrease in dosage of the intake of medications and recreational drugs.

In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a physical/mental dependence (often referred to as chemical dependency).

„Notenbankfinanzierung kann süchtig machen.“

Going, Going…

Pirates!

This is what happens when you fail to deliver (even when nobody ever really knew what you were supposed to deliver in the first place). Hey, what goes around comes around. Or was it what comes around goes away? I, for one, thought they’d never be von gestern (yesterday’s news).

“Since the Pirates have been around, the optical decorum has lapsed, and it’s undignified.”

Size Matters

There appears to be only one thing that Germans love more than being greener than green and concerned about saving the environment (and having to pay soaring fuel prices all the damned time in the process).

And that’s buying big honking high-horsepower cars with ever bigger engines all the freakin’ time. Vroom! Vroom!

In the first seven months of 2012, the average horsepower of the engines of new cars sold in Germany stood at 138 hp, up from a previous record of 135 hp seen in 2011 and 130 hp in 2010.

Die Deutschen lieben immer stärkere Autos – im Schnitt hat jeder Wagen um drei PS zugelegt.

No One Can Explain German Power Grid Instability

But as far as I can tell, it seems to have begun sometime shortly after the Fukushima nuclear disaster in Japan.

Sudden fluctuations in Germany’s power grid are causing major damage to a number of industrial companies. While many of them have responded by getting their own power generators and regulators to help minimize the risks, they warn that companies might be forced to leave if the government doesn’t deal with the issues fast…

The problem is that wind and solar farms just don’t deliver the same amount of continuous electricity compared with nuclear and gas-fired power plants. To match traditional energy sources, grid operators must be able to exactly predict how strong the wind will blow or the sun will shine.

“Every company — from small businesses to companies listed on the DAX — are buying one (APC emergency power generators) from us.” 

Angela Tea Party Merkel

“Wait a minute… This seems familiar to me. Romney and Ryan stole all this from Angela Merkel! That which the Tea Party wants to do is already being done by Merkel here, and for quite some time now: She wants to force other European states to save instead of just continuing to throw money at them.”

“With Ryan as vice-presidential candidate, the presidential election now has two clear and easily understandable alternatives: Obama wants to save the economy by going further into debt (financed through taxes) and pumping this into the economy. Romney and Ryan want to save the economy by lowering taxes (which should lead to more private investment) and forcing the state to save.”

Ich habe jedenfalls nie verstanden, warum die Deutschen die Tea Party nicht mögen. Logisch ist das nicht: Einerseits sind die meisten Deutschen erschrocken und verängstigt ob des schwindelerregenden amerikanischen Haushaltsdefizits und fest überzeugt, dass Amerika die Staatsschulden abbauen muss. Sonst würde es doch irgendwann zusammenbrechen oder von China aufgekauft. Gleichzeitig aber hassen sie die einzige politische Bewegung, die genau dafür kämpft – die Tea Party.

And now here’s some economist rap.

Capitalists To Pay For Occupy Cleanup

Sure, hauling away 300 cubic meters of garbage, hunting down all the rats and fixing up the green areas sounds like lots of fun and all, but somebody is going to have to pay for it, too. And it won’t be the occupants this time.

Yet another vicious blow to capitalism or something.

„Wer Schaden anrichtet, muss ihn auch begleichen.“

40 Percent Feel Discriminated Against?

A new study showing that 40 percent of foreigners living in Germany feel discriminated against in everyday life has left numerous German social scientists completely puzzled.

“This was quite a surprise for most of us,” one expert noted, wishing to remain anonymous. “As everybody out there knows, this percentage should really be a whole lot higher. It’s like 60 or 70 percent easy, I’d say. Those dumb foreigners clearly don’t know what the hell is going on, as usual.”

“Meine Erfahrung ist, dass hochqualifizierte Menschen mit ausländischen Wurzeln teilweise befürchten, in normalen Bewerbungsverfahren ausgegrenzt zu werden.”

It’s Better To Have Come In Ninth Than Never To Have Come In At All

The agony of defeat, or something (when people who are supposed to win lose – just ask Michael Phelps).

Wanting to keep a little reserve on the first day of Olympic competition, Germany’s swimmin’ women missed out on a spot in the women’s 4x100m freestyle final with the ninth fastest/slowest time.

Germans just aren’t good at being reserved, I guess.

“Es ist ja nicht so, dass wir mit solch einem Ergebnis gerechnet haben und machen jetzt alle einfach weiter.”