They’re Fear Rabbits (Angsthasen).
And what’s the number one angst in Germany these days? Ukraine? Ebola? Nope. Money. Money, the environment and health, in that order.
“The majority of Germans are afraid the Eurozone crisis will hit tax payers hard and that the cost of living is rising.”
Im westlichen Kokon scheint der Blick gelegentlich getrübt – ein wenig mehr Realismus könnte den Deutschen nicht schaden.
Or at least German Twittererers are.
It was called “State Affair” and had to do with an affair (like a sex one) between two heads of state – the German Chancellor lady and the French President dude.
I dunno. Sounds pretty satirical to me. Should have worked. But apparently it didn’t.
Like one guy tweeted: “I don’t even buy Veronica Ferres playing the role of Veronica Ferres.”
Sex beim Gipfeltreffen: Veronica Ferres verliebt sich als deutsche Bundeskanzlerin in den französischen Präsidenten. Die TV-Satire “Die Staatsaffäre” beginnt und endet wie schlimmes Werbefernsehen. Zwischendurch amüsiert man sich aber prächtig.
It’s new, it promotes competition, it has something to do with the Internetz and it’s American. It just has to be verboten.
The ride-hailing service Uber is about to have a head-on collision with Germany’s taxis and legal system. A court in Frankfurt has banned Uber’s most popular service from operating in the country until a hearing this year on whether it unfairly competes with local taxis.
It’s like this: Whatever is not expressly permitted in this country is strictly forbidden.
Es würden gegen Entgelt Personen befördert, „ohne im Besitz einer Genehmigung nach dem Personenbeförderungsgesetz zu sein.“
PS: Or maybe everyone’s pissed because they spelled Uber wrong?
Oops. I meant Kiev, of course
On September 1, 1939, the German army under Adolf Hitler launched an invasion of Poland that triggered the start of World War II.
Today, 75 years later, Hitler is regarded as one of history’s great villains. So it’s easy to forget how slowly and reluctantly the worlds most powerful democracies mobilized to stop him. France and Britain did declare war on Germany two days after the invasion of Poland, but it would take them another eight months before they engaged in full-scale war with the Nazis. The United States wouldn’t join the war against Hitler until December 1941, a full two years after the war began.
Wat dann nun (well which one is it then)? Satellite images show that “the Arctic ice crust is melting faster than expected“or
“stunning satellite images show summer ice cap is thicker and covers 1.7 million square kilometres more than 2 years ago.”
I know. It must be both.
The speech by former US Vice-President Al Gore was apocalyptic. ‘The North Polar ice cap is falling off a cliff,’ he said. ‘It could be completely gone in summer in as little as seven years. Seven years from now.’ Those comments came in 2007 as Mr Gore accepted the Nobel Peace Prize for his campaigning on climate change.
PS: The Ozone Hole is also doing really poorly these days and will soon disappear completely. Ozone scientists are therefore justifiably worried about what to worry about next.
Germans in general are famous for being against stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet. But Berliners in particular take it up a notch and like being against the very thought of the idea of the stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet.
Take Berlin’s candidacy for the 2024 Olympic Games, for instance. The one that hasn’t even been applied for yet, I mean. A group calling itself NOlympia is absolutely against this non-candidacy business because the non-application itself would cost a whopping 50 million euros alone. Once it were to be a real application, I mean.
And that would only be the start, people. The Olympics here would be an economic catastrophe, meltdown, debacle, or cataclysm even. Like the finances in Berlin are already, for instance. Sure, Berlin may be able to afford an 850 quadrazillion euro airport that still hasn’t been built yet but 50 million for the chance to have your town host the Olympics is absolutely out of the question for anyone out there with even just a little bit of common economic sense.
Do you have any idea what the Olympics would do to the real estate prices in this city, for instance? That’s right. It would increase the value of real estate in Berlin dramatically. And what city could possibly want something like that to happen?
No, no, no. It’s better to say no first and ask questions later. We no what we are doing and there’s no time to lose. Just say no. No tengo dinero. No we can’t already!
“Der olympische Spitzensport lässt sich nicht ökologisch oder nachhaltig bewerten.”
SPD party whip Thomas Oppermann has found it necessary to interrupt his clearly less than busy summer vacation to explain to Germans who already know that it is the United States ITSELF that is directly responsible for the rise of the ISIS terrorist group and their atrocities in Iraq.
The American intervention and overthrow of Saddam Hussein ten years ago, so the reasoning goes, ruined the “togetherness” that had predominated under the peoples and religions down there up until then. While their fearless leader was still around to take care of things like togetherness and stuff like that, I mean. Whatever.
But not to worry, folks. Six (that’s the number between five and seven) German soldiers have now been sent to the area to calm things down and clean things up.
Personally, I think that this guy needs to extend his vacation another month. He’s obviously stressed out and can’t see very clearly at the moment. Not only do Germans get terribly stressed out just watching TV (while on vacation or otherwise), a new study also indicates that the enormous stress Germans are generally under can lead to vision impairment, too.
Die US-Intervention habe das Miteinander der Völker und Religionen im Irak zerstört.
Not only do prison inmates in Berlin get to unionize so they can push for a minimum wage and a pension plan, they also get to go on regular visits to Berlin’s famous Zoo called the , uh, Berliner Zoo.
But some of these creepy dirtballs ruthlessly take advantage of their prison’s warm-hearted generosity by escaping when the two unsuspecting and unarmed guards accompanying them are caught off guard. While looking at the animals and stuff. In the zoo. Just like somebody called Hassan C. did yesterday. Man oh man. Some of these unionized prison inmates can be real jerks when they’re not in prison.
Wie konnte ihm die Flucht gelingen?
Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will finally step down on 11 December, after thirteen years in power. Damn. That’s longer than the Third Reich lasted.
And talk about chuzpe. This guy took it to a whole new level (just like he took building airports to a whole new level). He’s leaving now of his “own free will.” Before his cronies get around to tossing him out first, in other words. Even the Berlin SPD crowd has finally figured out that Berlin doesn’t “work” because of Wowereit, it works despite him.
Hey, lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. The Party Klaus is finally over.
Sein drittes Problem: die Stadt. „Arm, aber sexy“, wie der Bürgermeister sie eins beschrieb, das reicht in Wahrheit keinem Berliner mehr. Ihre Stadt, so stellten sie fest, funktioniert nicht wegen Wowereit, sondern trotz Wowereit.
Berlin is set to approve the sale of one of Germany’s largest oil producers to a Russian consortium, in a move that may undercut U.S. and E.U. sanctions aimed at punishing Russia for its role in stoking the conflict in Ukraine.
Der Verkauf galt wegen der Rolle Russlands in der Ukraine-Krise als politisch umstritten. Die Bundesregierung hat bei derartigen Transaktionen ein Mitspracherecht nach dem Außenwirtschaftsgesetz.
Observing Hermann 