Our Holy Hymnal Election Video, Amen

March 16, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Hi-tech, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Money, German, Germans, Germany, Hollywood, Humor, Media, Obama, Power, Presidential Election, Propaganda, Satire, The President 1 Comment

Wow. If anyone appreciates good propaganda, it’s these guys. The Der Spiegel clearly, if not accidently, got this one right: Obama, Amerikas Supermann.

“Oscar winner Davis Guggenheim directed it, Oscar winner Tom Hanks narrated it: Barack Obama’s election strategists have released a 17 minute promotional film. It stylizes the US President as a lonely hero who has single-handedly led his country out of crisis.”

Coming soon to a living room near you.

“Dieses Video ist für die Fans, und ihr wisst, wer sich angesprochen fühlen sollte.”

But At Least He Didn’t Say Nazi

March 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Apartheid, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Israel, Jews, Racism, SPD 2 Comments

Sigmar Gabriel, the head of the German Social Democratic Party and possible candidate for Chancellor of Germany, finally decided to break with that long and rather tiring SPD tradition of calling dissenters Nazis and tried out something new and refreshingly different instead; labelling the state of Israel an “Apartheid-Regime” on his Facebook page.

And to give the whole thing a little more umpf, he decided to publish this while visiting Israel and the Palestinian territories. Now he gets to pretend to defend his comparison of Israel to a racist state live and in color, right there before those terrible racists themselves (the Israelis, not the Palestinians). I tell ya, you got to have instinct in this business. Go SPD!

“I was just in Hebron. That is a lawless territory there for Palestinians. This is an apartheid regime, for which there is no justification.”

German Austerity Still Quite A Rarity

March 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Debt Crisis, EU, Europe, European Fiscal Pact, Fiscal Discipline, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, International Fiscal Pact, Satire, The EU, The Euro Leave a comment

Despite all the talk to the contrarity.

The German government didn’t reach even half of its planned savings in the federal budget in 2011. Only 42 percent of the spending cuts named by Merkel’s coalition government, comprised of the conservative Christian Democrats and the business-friendly Free Democratic Party, were actually not implemented…

The government is also falling behind on its targets for this year. Of the originally planned €19.1 billion in savings, less than half has been implemented…

This lapse (in reaching savings targets) is particularly embarrassing for the German government because the news comes just after 25 European Union member states agreed in early March to an international fiscal pact obliging them to adhere to greater fiscal discipline…

The aim of the pact is to make EU countries maintain binding austerity measures that leaders hope will contain the debt crisis and prevent countries like Greece from being able to pile up massive debts again.

And countries like Germany will show them how to do it, see? Next year, maybe. Or the year after that. Hard to say for sure.

“It (the pact) is a milestone in the history of the European Union.”

Can We Have Them Back On International Men’s Day?

March 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Hotness, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bild, Bildzeitung, Feminism, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Newspapers, Nudity, Political correctness, Sex, Topless Women, Tradition 3 Comments

Oh yeah, I forgot. There’s no such thing as International Men’s Day.

So much for tradition. The emasculated male staff at Germany’s Bild newspaper not only gave the women employees the day off on International Women’s Day this Thursday, they must have had too much to drink afterwards, too, because later that day the crazy bastards announced that the paper would be removing its trademark pictures of topless women from the front page.

How sweet or something. Sickening sweet. Now 28 years and 5000 topless women later we, I mean you, will be forced to turn to page three if you want to see them again (and we all know who they are). I feel so disgusted. And degraded.

So this is like progress marching on?

“I’m pleased that the pictures have finally disappeared from the front of the paper but the question is how long it will stay away. It was very degrading but we will have to wait and see whether this is permanent,” said Monika Lazar, women’s spokeswoman for the Green party.

Degrading, lady? Hell yeah, it’s degrading. Why degrade these women by putting them on page three?

Germans At Their Best

March 8, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Health, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Crowd Psychology, Dishonor, German, Germans, Germany, Grand Tattoo, Honor, Humor, Mass Hysteria, Satire, The President, Wulff 1 Comment

Together we are strong. Let’s turn into a pack of wulffs and kick him when he’s down (OK, wulffs, I mean wolves, don’t kick). Then we’ll kick him when he’s down and out. And then we’ll even kick him when he’s out (just out).

A Grand Tattoo? I thought there for a second that those soldiers were going to turn around, put him up against a wall and shoot him.

There is also a row over the music as President Wulff has requested four pieces, instead of the usual three.

Gazprom Gerd Strikes Again

March 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Elections, Gas, Gazprom, Germans, Germany, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Schroder 1 Comment

Former chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (SPD) is always good for popping a cork or two.

This time he’s ruffled a few German feathers by getting all warm and fuzzy about his good old buddy Vladimir Putin again. More specifically about Putin’s stunning (not) election victory over the weekend, praising him for being the “flawless democrat” that he is.

But this is nothing new. Schroeder has always been generous with praise for Putin. Especially since landing that 1 million euro-per-year consulting job from him at Gazprom’s Nord Stream consortium – just a few months (weeks?) after having left office.

It’s the gas, stupid.

Wes Brot ich ess, des Lied ich sing.

We’re Helping Greece To Help Ourselves

March 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Interest, Lending Leave a comment

It’s undeniable that Germany has great interest in helping Greece. Why just look at the great interest they’re getting back by doing so.

Despite all the perpetual bitching and moaning about having to foot the bailout bill for their bankrupt buddies in the bottomless pit, German tax payers raked in some 380 million euros on Greek aid interest payments in 2011 and are likely to pull in a whole lot more this year. It’s good to be the king, I mean lender.

Geez. With generosity like this, who needs extortion?

Im Rahmen des ersten Griechenland-Hilfspakets hat die Bundesrepublik dem Euro-Partner Darlehen von insgesamt 15,17 Milliarden Euro gewährt, um das Land vor der Pleite zu retten. Der Zinssatz habe zwischen 3,423 und 4,528 Prozent gelegen.

I Put The Dick In Dictator

March 5, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Belarus, Berlin, Dictators, Diplomacy, Gays, German, Germans, Germany, Homosexuality, Humor, Lukashenko, Politics, Satire 1 Comment

Germans everywhere were stunned after outgoing, laugh-a-minute Belarussian president Alexander Lukashenko caused an undiplomatic uproar by telling Germany’s foreign minister Guido Westerwelle that it is “better to be a dictator than gay.”

“What does he mean, gay?” several of the shocked Germans asked simultaneously.

“Are you kidding?” another German said. “I had absolutely no idea that Guido Westerwelle was one of those.”

“Guido? Gay?” one enraged bystander said. “Why I’ll show that tater dicked dick tater a slur or two. Take that faggity assed hat of yours off and come over here and fight like a man!”

Airbus (Some Call It Airbias) Needs More Germans

March 2, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Airbus, Berlin, Business, EADS, France, German, Germans, Germany, Government, Humor, Paris, Satire Leave a comment

At least that’s what the Germans will tell you if you ask them, which of course nobody is.

OK, we’re actually talking about EADS here. “The German government is deeply concerned by the concentration and centralisation of research and development competencies in the headquarters in Toulouse, which have to a large degree led to the current imbalance,” a pissed off big-time German politician has lamented.

So much for Franco-German understanding (yet again). And if it were up to the Germans, they would even see to it that EADS ensure “equal numbers of French and German nationals occupy positions in the top five leadership levels,” although how you would equally distribute five people is unclear to me (government can do this kind of stuff, you know).

But none of this will lead to anything, folks. I can tell you that right now. The Airbus Chief Executive and designated EADS boss isn’t about to let any pigheaded German government official tell him what to do. His name is Thomas Enders and he’s a pigheaded German himself.

EADS was formed in 2000 from French, German and Spanish assets as a counterweight to U.S. aerospace and defense giants.

Speaking Of Ingratitude

March 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Abstention, Berlin, Business, Freedom, Gadhafi, German, Germans, Germany, Libya, Politics, Revolution, The Arab Spring, UN Leave a comment

Don’t the Libyans appreciate everything the Germans have done for them? Gee, I guess they don’t.

Before the Libyan revolution, Germany was the country’s second-largest trading partner. But then Germany abstained in a 2011 UN vote to militarily intervene in its civil war. Now that the war is over, German businesses and think tanks are finding that most Libyans want little to do with them.

“Water doesn’t flow uphill on its own / And wars, too, don’t stop themselves.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hypocrisy