Germans Still Pretending That This Didn’t Happen

Honestly, how long have we been hearing that it isn’t a question of “if” a pandemic is coming, it is only a question of “when?”

Masks

Well, then here’s yet another example of government planning in action because Germany was caught with its Lederhose down big time when the coronavirus pandemic hit.

Take face masks. When not shipping off the few that they did have to China before realizing they needed them for themselves, or falsely accusing the United States of stealing face masks destined for them once the panic set in, Angela Merkel’s government spends a considerable amount of energy letting its state media outlets explain to the worried citizenry that face masks really aren’t that important anyway – while frantically trying to organize and produce them in the background.

So we all know what’s coming next. It’s right around the corner, folks. The German government will soon announce – once enough face masks are finally available – that although face masks are not absolutely, positively necessary to protect you during the pandemic you will nevertheless now be required to wear them any and every time you leave your apartment. But don’t thank us for being overly cautious like this, they will say, we only want to take every precaution necessary to keep you safe. They will soon want a pat on the back for not having done their job in the first place, in other words. A failure and a scam from start to finish. We’re here from the government and we’re here to help.

It’s now clear that the German government was ill-prepared for this pandemic, even though a 2012 risk analysis by the federal government sketched out a crisis scenario that is eerily similar to the current situation.

German Of The Day: Wildwest-Methoden

That means “Wild West methods.”

SPD

What it really means is US-Amerika sucks. As usual. Yawn. That the German on the street is anti-American while vehemently denying being anti-American is certainly nothing new but whenever German politicians openly spread fake news allegations about evil Amerikan intentions just to play to the crowd – and everybody bends over backwards not to notice afterward – that still surprises me.

In this case it was Berlin’s red-redder-green city government with Interior Senator Andreas Geisel (SPD) in the lead role.

When face masks for the Berlin police that were supposedly ordered in China and shipped over Thailand never arrived here Geisel ranted in a press statement that the Americans had confiscated them and redirected the shipment to the USA using their “wild west methods” in an act of “modern day piracy” and that the German federal government needed to take action here immediately. None of this ever happened, of course. Just as there will be no consequences for this guy now. Other than he’ll maybe get a raise. It’s a natural instinct, folks. It’s just what Germans and German politicians do.

Als angeblich in China bestellte, über Bangkok nach Berlin verfrachtete Schutzmasken für die Berliner Polizei nicht ankamen, wetterte Geisel in einer Presseerklärung: Die USA hätten die Ware für sich konfiszieren, umleiten lassen – „Wildwest-Methoden“ und „Akt moderner Piraterie“, wütete der Innensenator. Die Bundesregierung müsse eingreifen!

Just Like In The Good Old USA

Opinion: Germans rally behind Merkel amid coronavirus crisis.

Corona

A recent poll shows that Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives have seen a spike in popularity as Germany battles the coronavirus pandemic. This illustrates that our democracy is stable, says DW’s Jens Thurau.

It’s the same in the US, right? Everyone in America rallies behind the President of the United States amid the coronvirus crisis there, don’t they?  It’s just what one does. Citizens forget party politics, petty personal hysterics and even the Trump Derangement Syndrome ITSELF at times of great need like these to support their government and solve a real problem. That’s just what Americans do. And that’s what’s happening in America right now, right? Right.

By the way, the same Germans who supposedly rally behind Frau Merkel still jump at every opportunity they can get – today – to continue bashing Donald Trump with as much vehemence as they can muster. So much for today’s Sunday School sermon, Deutsche Welle.

German Of The Day: Denunziant

The means informer. Or snitch.

Snitch

Snitching. It’s just what Germans do.

Law-abiding Germans are zealously helping police crack down on people flouting new social distancing rules aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus by reporting on strangers, neighbours and friends.

In a country where denunciation was commonplace under the Communists in East Germany and Hitler’s Nazis, police forces across the country are getting tip-offs on anything from “corona parties” to people driving to weekend cottages.

Das böse D-Wort – Der Begriff “Denunziant” erlebt in Zeiten von Covid-19 eine Wiedergeburt. Ist Deutschland durchsetzt von meldewütigen Hobbypolizisten?

Nice Try, Gazprom Gerd

You can run, Gerhard Schröder, but you can’t hide.

Schroeder

More and more people in Germany are voluntarily wearing face masks in public, as seen here with former chancellor Schröder and his partner.

Immer mehr Menschen in Deutschland tragen in der Öffentlichkeit freiwillig Schutzmasken. Wie hier Alt-Kanzler Schröder mit seiner Lebensgefährtin.

German Of The Day: Fehlbesetzung

That means the wrong choice, as in choosing the wrong person. Well, at least the voters didn’t choose her.

Ursula

Hey, Ursula von der Leyen ruined the German Bundeswehr. She has a proven track record. That’s how she got her raise to ruin what’s left of Europe in the first place. She never had to run for election, folks. Backroom politics at its best. Why should she? She was one of Angie Merkel’s girls. Is anybody really surprised by any of this?

In the midst of the deepest crisis Europe is desperately seeking leadership. The new Commission President is proving to be weak in every respect.

Inmitten tiefster Krisen sucht Europa händeringend nach Führung. Die neue Kommissionspräsidentin erweist sich in jeder Hinsicht als schwach.

Thanks, Party Folk

Or Volk, if you prefer. Thanks to you a total Corona lockdown is virtually assured now.

Corona

Confusion, defiance and parties in the park: A postcard from Berlin under coronavirus lockdown – Police had to break up several so-called “Corona Parties” on Monday evening, where hundreds of students had bought cases of Corona beer and gathered in parks.

In Berlin zum Beispiel sind die Clubs zwar geschlossen, trotzdem treffen sich viele Jugendliche einfach in Parks zum gemeinsamen Trinken.

German Of The Day: Humbug

That means humbug. Only it’s pronounced hoomboog. This is German, after all.

Humbug

Germans don’t know who she is yet. Geez. Are they always the last to know?

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. That means Naomi Seibt from Münster says the climate change is humbug.

The rest of the article, as you can imagine, explains how this “controversial international star” (from Germany) is a bad thing. Person, I mean. Pronounced purrsown.

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. Damit ist sie international zum umstrittenen Star geworden – auch wegen ihrer Affinität zur politischen Rechten. Wer ist diese 19 Jahre alte Frau?

A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.

Ha, Ha, Ha

“Few Germans afraid of coronavirus?” They “feel the country’s health officials have the situation under control?”

Corona

Which Germany are you referring to? Talk about fake news – brought to you tonight from German state TV channel ARD. Please remember this when you read up on Germany and the coronavirus again in a few weeks. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly and abruptly the rosy numbers they are publishing here can change.

Few Germans afraid of coronavirus – Most Germans are not overly worried about the coronavirus outbreak and feel the country’s health officials have the situation under control. But they’re more divided on accepting refugees and Germany’s political makeup.