No Fake News Here

It’s called “miscommunication.”

Miscommunication

This week, two individuals became the focus of global celebration following an unlikely and joyous confluence of circumstances.

The viral story went that two elderly men escaped their care facility to attend a metal festival in northern Germany (or, as one headline put it: “Elderly Men Escape Retirement Home to Go RAGE!!”).

Except they weren’t, and they didn’t.

The two men, as it turns out, are 58 and 59 years old and had escaped “a home for people with mental health issues,” according to the Associated Press, before traveling to Wacken, a city roughly 50 miles north of Hamburg. They arrived there at the same time that the Wacken Open Air music festival — referred to as the world’s largest for metal — was happening.

If they can’t or won’t get the facts straight on a harmless little story like this then imagine what kind of fairy tale twisting must be going with the more politicized stuff.

It’s Good To Be The Queen

Of extracting wealth from the rest of the European Union.

Merkel

While few European states can pretend to share Germany’s distinction of being a “country of poets and thinkers,” none can rival German abilities to extract so much wealth from the rest of the European Union.

Last year, Germany posted a 159.3 billion euro surplus on its goods trade with other countries in the EU — one of the world’s largest free-trade areas and a region with privileged access to German goods and services.

That’s the way it’s been since 1958, when Europe’s common market opened up.

Statistisches Bundesamt: Deutsche Exporte im Juni 2018 um 7,8% höher als im Vorjahr.

The Short Answer Is No

Not without nuclear energy.

If Germany Can’t Quit Coal, Can Anyone Else?

Coal

It would seem like a major step toward Prime Minister Angela Merkel’s goal to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 40 percent of 1990 totals by 2020. But German utilities just can’t seem to quit burning coal. Some power plants are switching to cheaper imported black coal from the United States, Russia, or Colombia. And at the same time, Germany is also digging more lignite, or brown coal. Lignite is 50 percent water and yields much less energy than the shiny black anthracite. But lignite is easy to bulldoze from massive strip mines that dot Germany’s northwest and eastern border with Poland. Among Europe’s power plants, Germany’s brown coal stations constitute six out of 10 of the worst polluters.

“It’s like organizing your own funeral.”

 

Soyprise Soyprise

Just when you thought they soyrendered… The trade relationship between the United States and Europe is improving, German Agriculture Minister Julia Kloeckner said on Saturday, but there is no guarantee the bloc will buy the quantity of soybeans that Washington expects.

Soy

U.S. President Donald Trump and Jean-Claude Juncker, president of the European Commission, the EU’s executive body, struck a surprise deal on Wednesday that ended the risk of an immediate trade war between the two powers.

After the talks, Trump highlighted benefits for U.S. farmers. “The European Union is going to start, almost immediately, to buy a lot of soybeans,” he told reporters.

Kloeckner, speaking to Reuters on the sidelines of a G20 meeting in Buenos Aires, said the amount of soy Europe will import is yet to be determined.

“Will we be able to do whatever President Trump wishes for? I don’t know. Let’s see whether this will be the case or not,” she said.

Soy its back to the drawing board, folks. We’ve got another European insoyrection on our hands. Yup, another resoygence of European protectionism. But if they want a trade war then their destruction is assoyed. We’ll see who has the better chance of soyvival.

I Know Nothing

Nothing!

Winterkorn

Uh, yes you do. Former VW boss Martin Winterkorn has maintained from the start of the Dieselgate scandal that he knew nothing about the manipulative tricks going on in his company. But it’s now coming out that a high-ranking VW engineer who knows better is cooperating with the German prosecuting attorney’s office and spilling the beans on Winterkorn big time. This is going to cost VW a whole lot more than they figured on, I bet. Even the Germans are holding them responsible. Think of that. And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of guys. Talk about systematic criminal activity.

I mean, do these people really think they can get away with this stuff and nobody is ever going to squeal on them? I guess it’s too lonely up there at the top when you’re, well, on the top, in your little I know nothing dream world.

„Ich bin bestürzt über das, was in den vergangenen Tagen geschehen ist. Vor allem bin ich fassungslos, dass Verfehlungen dieser Tragweite im Volkswagen-Konzern möglich waren.”

German Of The Day: Alarmbereitschaft

That means “alarm preparedness.” And you have just been placed in it. Or on red alert, if you prefer.

Bannon

Isn’t that sophisticated imagery? Get it? Really subtle. Or subliminal or something.

“Trumps ex-strategist wants to support Europe’s right” – Bannon is moving to Europe to set up The Movement, a populist foundation to rival George Soros and spark a right-wing revolt across the continent.

This “movement,” you see, is obviously no different than Adolf Hitler’s movement a few years back and all forces of Goodness and Niceness must be placed in Alarmbereitschaft immediately to ensure that they are and remain alarmed, or at least be prepared for alarm or red alert or whatever (with the emphasis on red). You know, like this guy here? No fifty shades of gray here, folks. It’s all perfectly black and white. Or brown, actually. So are you finally alarmed now? Me, neither.

Steve Bannon, der frühere Chefstratege von US-Präsident Donald Trump, will eine Stiftung gründen, die rechtspopulistische Bewegungen in Europa stärkt. Die Organisation mit dem Namen “The Movement” werde ihren Hauptsitz in Brüssel haben, berichtete das US-Nachrichtenportal The Daily Beast unter Berufung auf Bannon. Vor der Europawahl im Mai 2019 werde sie zehn Mitarbeiter einstellen.

Germany Is So Wunderbar

As we all know, or are at least that’s what we’re told time and time again. But it is a country that presents us as in US/the NATO allience with, well, a bit of a challenge.

NATO

NATO’s 21st-century problem is not the United States, which provides a large percentage of its wherewithal, but Germany. As the most populous and most affluent of European nations, Germany still insidiously dominates Europe as it has since its inception in 1871.

Berlin sends ultimatums to the indebted Southern European nations. Berlin alone tries to dictate immigration policy for the European Union. Berlin establishes the tough conditions under which the United Kingdom can exit the European Union. And when Berlin decides it will not pony up the promised 2 percent of GDP for its NATO contribution, other laggard countries follow its example. Only six of the 29 NATO members (other than the U.S.) so far have met their promised assessments…

This is the NATO that Trump inherited and that he tried to shake up with his customary art-of-the-deal antics. Trump may be loud and uncouth, but his argument that NATO countries need to pay more money for their shared alliance’s self-defense is sound. If successful, it would lead to a stronger NATO.

In contrast, German Chancellor Angela Merkel sounds customarily professional and diplomatic as she continues to weaken the alliance and pursue German commercial and financial interests at the expense of fellow NATO members.

Germans Outraged That Trump Would Not Go To War For Montenegro

The Germans certainly would.

Trump

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

These people kill me sometimes. Figuratively speaking.

Montenegro, a former Yugoslav republic with a population of about 630,000, joined NATO last year, becoming is 29th member. Its military only numbers about 2,000 personnel.

The only time Article 5 was ever invoked was by America after the September 11, 2001 terror attacks conducted by al-Qaeda.

Für ein kleines Land wie Montenegro in den Krieg ziehen? Donald Trump hat in einem Interview Zweifel an der Bündnistreue der USA innerhalb der Nato gesät. Der US-Präsident machte eine vielsagende Andeutung.

Only In Germany

I don’t make this stuff up, people.

Sami

As reported earlier, after finally deporting Osama bin Laden’s freeloading bodyguard (he and his family received welfare payments for years/decades while he worked as an Islamist hate preacher), German authorities have now realized that the other German authorities who did the deporting did not deport Sami A in the proper German legalese fashion so… Now they want him back. In order to deport him again. Only this time gründlich (thoroughly). Without any Pfusch (botching it).

It’s times like these I think there really is something to this old Oswald Spengler stuff.

Germany suspects 42-year-old Sami A. of working as a bodyguard to late al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. A German court wants him to return from Tunisia after ruling his deportation was illegal.

Anwältin: Sami A. soll mit Visum nach Deutschland.

German Of The Day: Gefangener

That means prisoner or captive. You know, as in “Germany is a captive of Russia.”

Yeah. A captive who finally got caught.

Germany

“It pays billions and billions of dollars to Russia for energy. Germany is a rich country. Why should the U.S. protect you against Russia when the two countries are making deals? You tell me, is that appropriate?”

Deutschland ist ein Gefangener Russlands.