This Is Cruel And Unusual Punishment

March 7, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

If you don’t have an IN-N-OUT Burger or a Wendy’s in the area, I mean.

Prison

Police in the western German town of Bergisch Gladbach have been ordering takeaway McDonalds for inmates after a food supply contract fell through at the start of March, local media reported on Monday.

The inmates of the short term facility are given the choice of a hamburger, a cheeseburger or a veggieburger for lunch and a McToast with cheese, ham and bacon for breakfast, Cologne tabloid “Express” reported. Bigger burgers were reportedly too expensive.

Ein Polizeisprecher nennt die Regelung eine “pragmatische Lösung“. Man habe sich die Frage stellen müssen, wer in der Lage sei, “sieben Tage die Woche, morgens, mittags und abends Verpflegung zu stellen”.

Two From Togo To Go?

March 6, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Two violent and drunken asylum seekers from Togo (Syrian migrants, I assume) who smashed up their asylum center because of the lousy mobile phone reception there?

Togo

To go back home to Togo, I mean? Right. Wahrscheinlich (probably).

A German police officer has been severely injured in a weekend riot by drunken refugees armed with iron bars who smashed their accommodation centre to smithereens. Two men from Togo and six from Ghana went berserk at their asylum home in Rees-Haldern, near the Dutch border a DAY after moving in because they were ‘unhappy’ with their quarters.

„Die Infrastruktur gefiel ihnen nicht und es gibt dort wohl Netzprobleme was den Handyempfang angeht.“

Can I Have My False Pleasantries Back?

March 5, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

German facial expression of the day: Staring.

Stare

Oddity 34. You know you are in Germany when you regularly find yourself being stared at for no clearly discernible reason. I don’t know if Germans necessarily like to stare but they sure do it a lot.  A nice term a friend of mine prefers using is “unfiltered curiosity” but it’s staring all the same.

But it’s a wonderful trait: Firstly, you know the person is listening intently (they really are); secondly, since it’s very difficult to look someone in the eyes and speak coherently and come up with pleasant little white lies, the false pleasantries vanish and the conversation becomes honest and true – leading toward a final deep dive into the other’s soul.

A German Nuclear Bomb?

March 3, 2017 By in Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

I have, let me say, strong doubts here. A renewable, green energy bomb of mass destruction? OK. But a nuclear one?

Sun

Germany’s most obvious response (should US-Amerika say Auf Wiedersehen! to NATO) would be to approach France and Britain, NATO’s other two nuclear powers, for a shared deterrent. But their arsenals are small. France, moreover, has so far been unwilling to cede any sovereignty over its nuclear arms and has always been sceptical about shared deterrence. Britain, as its prime minister, Theresa May, has already hinted, might make its nuclear shield a subject of negotiation during the upcoming Brexit talks.

It’s a question of how to deter whom with what.

Abdalfatah H. A. Will Not Tell Germans What The H. A. Stands For

March 2, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

And with good reason. His true identity might be used against him. He is a Syrian refugee who just got arrested on suspicion of having committed war crimes.

Police

As we all know, Germany will allow anybody from anywhere in the world to enter the country as a Syrian refugee (no passport or other identification needed) but being a war criminal who is believed to have killed 36 people might slow down his asylum seeking process considerably. And that would be inhumane.

German police are currently investigating some 30 cases linked to war crimes committed in Syria and Iraq.

Is That All You Could Find?

March 1, 2017 By in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

501 German oddities?

Dog

I know, I know. There are way more than that. Just consider these 501 oddities to be, you know, Oddities 101 or something.

“Hermann, thank you for your blog and books, I am hooked. I recently picked up 501 German Oddities and couldn’t stop laughing. I am German, but live in Boston with my husband, who is from the area and grew up here. We cracked up so many times and just had a blast reading your book. It was actually eye opening at times to the both of us and explained some “odd” behaviors of mine to him. Super grateful for the book and can’t wait to see more blog entries. All the best, Marina.”

Limited time ebook offer or something, folks. Also available at Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, etc.

Living Up To Contractual Obligations Causing Angst

March 1, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Concerned about possibly turning Germany into a military superpower again by raising its defense spending from 1.3 to 2 percent of its gross domestic product (as agreed to by Germany many years ago in NATO), Germany’s foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) says that this could cause angst elsewhere in Europe, and most certainly at the German ministry of finance, and therefore maybe ought to be put off for an other 10 to 15 years or so. Or maybe longer. It all depends.

Gabriel

Angst is a terrible thing, people. And so is Verarschung (being bullshited). But angst is worse, I guess.

“Für Deutschland unrealistisch.”