We Did Nothing Wrong

“We paid our taxes, we paid our wages, we have done what every other company does with its investments.” Then what are you whining about, you fools? That just makes it all the more obvious that you must be punished.

Atom

Power firms brought a legal challenge on Tuesday against a German government decision to shut down the country’s nuclear plants by 2022, a lawsuit that could allow them to claim 19 billion euros ($21 billion) in damages.

The decision deprived the utilities of one of their main sources of profit and pitched them into crisis as the focus moved to renewables and electricity prices tumbled.

“Wir sind als Bundesregierung sehr zuversichtlich, dass unsere Rechtsauffassung obsiegen wird… Die Kernkraft war von Anfang an hoch umstritten. Es musste jederzeit mit der Möglichkeit einer Neubewertung gerechnet werden.”

Oman

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Oman

Because somebody has to admire them.

In January, Economy Minister Gabriel (SPD) said Germany may look harder at its arms exports to Saudi Arabia after the Gulf kingdom carried out its biggest mass execution for decades. In addition, Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD) has repeatedly said that Berlin wants to deescalate tensions in the Middle East.

Trump, Trumper, am Trumpsten

Am Trumpsten means “the most Trump-like” in German. Well it does now. I just made that up. That’s the cool thing about German. You can make up words right and left (in this case right?) and no force in the universe can stop you.

AfD

Anyway, it’s state election time in Germany today and Germany has a Trump-like problem. Germany’s Trump-like problem: Right-wing, anti-foreigner movement poised for big election win.

The problem has the same root cause the American Trump-like problem has, too. Nobody “up there” takes the worries of these folks “down here” seriously, particularly with regard to the refugee crisis. It’s time to dish out some punishment, see? This anger won’t lead to anything constructive, of course, but nobody who votes for the Trumps of this world thinks that far ahead or very much cares. Get your popcorn ready. It’s gonna be ugly.

„Die AfD könnte deutlich besser abschneiden als erwartet.“

Fukushima Five Years Later: Everything The Germans Feared Has Come True

Well, not really. Actually, none of it has. But still.

Fukushima

Let’s see… The reactor is under control – still. There are no cancer deaths or deformed babies to report after the radiation in Japan. Not one. The UN (UNSCEAR) even predicts that there will be no significant increase in the cancer rate in the area at all. The exclusion zone around Fukushima keeps getting smaller and smaller. Japan is not saying no to nuclear energy. Im Gegenteil (on the contrary): After a short break, Japan has returned wholeheartedly to nuclear energy. France and America never contemplated doing away with nuclear energy. Of all the countries that have access to nuclear energy, only Germany has taken such drastic action.

By the way, the fish in the waters around Fukushima have no more higher level of radiation than the fish found in the North Sea. Put that in your Spiegel and smoke it.

But the Atomausstieg (nuclear phase-out) – in Germany – was certainly worth it (this is what Germans still repeat to themselves before going to bed each night).

Well, maybe “worth it” isn’t quite the right term to use, taking into account the outrageous wind and solar energy subsidies that have driven/are still driving energy prices up through the roof here in Germany. But other than that, though, everything seems to be going to plan.

I’ve just got to ask: Are these the same people who planned Germany’s refugee policy, too?

Japan auf Jahrzehnte verseucht, Hunderte verstrahlt, Unzählige an Krebs gestorben. So stellte man sich die Folgen von Fukushima vor. Doch vieles ist anders gekommen.

But What About Datenschutz?

That means data privacy and is way big medicine here in Germany indeed. Just go ask Google, Facebook, the Boy Scouts, whoever.

Names

So like how on earth could German counter-terrorism police be “investigating documents (illegally acquired) said to reveal the identities of a large number of fighters of so-called Islamic State?” Without their expressed written permission, I mean. Do Julian Assange and Edward Snowden know about this?

Don’t these terrorists have the right to keep the German state from snooping into their, uh, Islamic state? Somebody call the nation’s Datenschutzbeauftragter (data protection officer) immediately. This is an outrage or something.

22 000 Namen von Islamisten enthüllt | ISIS-Geheimdienstchef verlor USB-Stick mit Terrordaten

Drug Snugglers Getting Trickier All The Time

I mean smugglers.

Drugs

OK. So like how did that customs dude at Frankfurt Airport determine that there are two silicon implants filled with cocaine in there (500 grams each)?

He must have been given a hot tip. Although any boob could see that those were loaded. I guess she got busted.

Die „Bild“ berichtet über den skurrilen Fund der Zollbeamten. Demnach sei die Frau schon auf dem zehnstündigen Flug aus Südamerika nach Frankfurt wegen ihrer enormen Oberweite aufgefallen.

Boaring

Like what’s the pig deal? I guess you could say I am disgruntled, folks.

Pig

Sow what do you mean that some politicians in Schleswig-Holstein want pork products removed from “cafes, daycare centers and state schools across the state to prevent offending Muslims?”

Well, I’m with some of their reactionary colleagues who are now campaigning to make pork mandatory in public canteens and schools there.

I’m rooting for them, so-to-speak. One should never truffle with tradition.

Dienstag ist Schwienstag. Die Geschichte einer vermeidbaren Sauerei.

Tick Tock Tick…

Get ready for the Big Hurt Feelings Party (in more ways than one) next Sunday, folks.

AfD

The far-right Alternative for Germany emerged as the third-largest party in municipal elections in the German state of Hesse on Sunday, in a likely preview of the success the party looks set to score in three state elections next weekend.

“For the CDU this is very unsatisfying.”

Schock für die großen Parteien, der Stimmungstest bei der Kommunalwahl in Hessen ging daneben. 

Greens Ready For Next Verbot

Coffee capsules. They’re colorful. They’re deadly. And they must be stopped.

Kapseln

According to German green scientists, these throwaway capsules produced “a mountain of garbage consisting of 5000 tons of aluminum and plastic” in 2014 alone. They refused to say where this mountain was located, however. The mountain is neither here nor there, folks. The important thing is that these capsules must be combated by introducing a so-called “deposit system” or “environmental tax,” two radical new German green ideas never yet tried before. It will be tough. And expensive. And annoying as hell. But we can only hope that their efforts will once again save our planet in time.

In Deutschland wurden dem “Spiegel” zufolge 2014 fast drei Milliarden Kaffeekapseln verbraucht. Das entspreche einem Müllberg von etwa 5000 Tonnen Aluminium und Plastik.

German Of The Day: Heile Welt

Heile Welt

To grasp this trauma (the refugee crisis) it helps to understand the German zeitgeist that developed (mainly in the former West Germany) in the post-war years, and lingered in the reunited country. Germans call it Heile Welt. The term means something like “wholesome world”, and describes an orderly, idyllic state. It may connote the nurturing environment parents create for their children to protect them from life’s ugliness, or a private oasis of peace amid public chaos. It was a state of mind that Germans clung to after the second world war…

Foreigners were allowed into this Heile Welt, but not entirely accepted. To man its assembly lines, Germany invited workers from southern Europe and especially Turkey. The millionth arrived in 1964 and got a motorcycle as a gift. By the time the programme ended in 1973, 4m foreigners lived in West Germany. But they were called “guest workers” rather than immigrants, on the premise that they would ultimately leave again. Unsurprisingly, most stayed. Yet mainstream Germany continued to see itself as ethnically homogenous—a Heile Welt in a tribal sense…

Gnomic wisdom: Some Germans react by fleeing into ever tinier Heile Welten. “We are becoming ever more like our garden gnomes.”