Who Am I? Where Am I? And Why Am I Reading This?

January 26, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: America, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Media, Party Line, Propaganda, Trump, USA 1 Comment

My fellow Americans: We have lost our identity. Again already, or something. Or at least that’s what I just read down here.

But luckily for us, the folks over at Spiegel Online are going to give our identities back to us. Only this being Germany, and Germany being Germany, and what with Datenschutz (data protection) and all, we will have to properly identify ourselves first, of course (unless we’re Syrian refugees from North Africa, I mean, but we’re not, we’re Mericans). So… Wait a minute. How the hell is this supposed to work anyway?

Reporter Holger Stark spent the past four years as DER SPIEGEL’s Washington correspondent during a time in which the country changed radically enough to elect Donald Trump as its president. What led this once mighty nation into decline?

Megalomania & Small-Mindedness – How America Lost Its Identity

PS: Just read it, folks. They’re only trying to help us. This is NOT fake news, by the way, so don’t even THINK of looking for any alternative facts.

Russia Scared?

January 25, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Belgium, Crimea, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Lithuania, NATO, Russia, Ukraine 1 Comment

Of 17 German officers and 30 Belgian troops who have just arrived in Lithuania?

I’m scared, too. Or at least I was. That I hadn’t read that right, I mean. But now I’m scared again because I checked once more and I did read that right: German troops land in Lithuania amid Russia fears.

Though political parties within Germany – whose national history makes it a hesitant military leader – clashed over the deployment of German troops, Lithuanian President Dalia Grybauskaite greeted Germany’s decision to lead the NATO forces as a “breakthrough” for the future of European defense.

Moscow, on the other hand, has criticized the move as an example of NATO aggression against Russia.

Designated Loser (SPD) Magnanimously Makes Room For Next Designated Loser (SPD)

January 24, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Brussels, Elections, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Martin Schulz, Merkel, Sigmar Gabriel, SPD Leave a comment

The current head of the SPD, Sigmar Gabriel, has decided not to run as SPD candidate for chancellor in next September’s Merkelection, magnanimously allowing the all-knowing and immensely more annoying Martin Schulz to lose in his stead instead.

Schulz, commissar refugee from Brussels currently seeking asylum in Germany, could not be reached for comment but this does not really matter because he never freakin’ stops talking anyway.

Das Porträt zeigt einen Politiker, der “nach einem halben Jahr Nachdenken, Zweifeln, Ringen, nach Fahrplanänderungen und Freundschaftskrisen” endlich mit sich im Reinen ist.

What Does Reality Have To Do With Anything?

January 23, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hideology, Hysteria Tags: Energy Costs, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Nuclear energy, Renewable energy, The Green Shirts 1 Comment

We Germans don’t care that “Germany isn’t an ideal place for solar and wind power.” We’re green. And we’re going to stay green and pay green (one of the highest electricity rates in the developed world) until we’re green in the face.

Once, German utilities like E.on and RWE had a sound business model that produced cheap energy from nuclear factories. That’s how the two companies could be kind to investors, workers, and taxpayers…

Then the green revolution caught up with the utility sector, as German government decided to abandon nuclear for green energy. “In the aftermath of the Fukushima catastrophe, the German government (Angela Merkel) has resorted to an overhasted exit from nuclear energy until 2022,” explains investment analyst Martin Burdenski. “This decision was in stark contrast to a lifetime extension of existing nuclear plants in 2010…”

“The companies will now receive compensation for investments made between the lifetime extension in fall 2010 and the abandonment of nuclear energy in 2011.”

US-Amerika

January 22, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, P320, Pacifism, Pistols, Plastic, Profit, Sig Sauer, Trump, Weapons, Weapons Exports 1 Comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

German weapons American made? Damn. This Trump guy means business, or what?

Die US-Army suchte ein „Modulare Handgun System (MHS)“ und SIG Sauer betont, dass sich an der Pistole mit üblicherweise 9-Millimeter-Kaliber die Größe der Pistolengriffe austauschen lässt und auch das Kaliber geändert werden kann.

Nervous Germans More Nervous Than Usual For Some Reason

January 20, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Inauguration, Media, Party Line, Trump Leave a comment

I haven’t been able to decrypt this Deutsche Welle article yet but at least there aren’t that many words in it.

Here are most of them: Disbelief… bad dream… cold sweat… irritation… extremely alarming… dangerous… help of fake news… populist… irrational… awful phantom… concerned… not been very convincing… catastrophic mistake… contempt… inauguration.

“There are no signs showing that it will be good.”

This Man Is Not A Terrorist

January 19, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Angela Merkel, Berlin, Facebook, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Hate Speech, Migrants, Refugees, Selfies, Syrians, Terrorism, Terrorists Leave a comment

It’s the woman standing next to him. Hardy, har, har.

Anas Modamani, who migrated to Germany from Syria, told the BBC that a photo he took with German leader Angela Merkel has been used in various reports claiming he was involved in several different terrorist attacks, which spread around Facebook.

Modamani hired a lawyer to file an injunction against the Menlo Park-based social network alleging the company failed to remove racist posts, in violation of German hate speech laws. The legal action comes as Facebook faces mounting pressure to do something about the proliferation of fake news on the social network.

Er wäre ein Paradebeispiel für gelungene Integration. Doch nach einem Selfie mit der Kanzlerin wird Anas Modamani immer wieder als Terrorist verunglimpft. Die Geschichte eines 19-Jährigen, der jetzt genug hat.

Time For More Yummy Berlin Fashion!

January 18, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Horror, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin Fashion Week, Fashion, Germany 1 Comment

At Berlin Fashion Week!

And they’re finally bringing out a collection for the rest of us. It’s called “Alien Nation” and I couldn’t feel more alienated if I tried.

This latest collection, prepared for the autumn/winter 2017/18 season, is being shown under the title “Alien Nation,” a nod to the estrangement that Goy and Kubeja, like many other artists today, feel as a result of the shifts in the political climate. “The collection is not as pictorial as previous collections have been,” said Goy.

Another Year Closes

January 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Government Waste, Planning Leave a comment

But Berlin’s “new” airport doors won’t. So that’s why the grand opening will have to be put off again for another year.

For now, I mean. Hey, when one door closes another one opens. And when when one door doesn’t close… Whatever.

Statt 80 Prozent Ende 2016 sind de facto nur 20 Prozent in Ordnung. Ein ordnungsgemäßes Funktionieren der Türen ist jedoch insbesondere für die fehlerfreie Entrauchung wichtig.

PS: You just wait, Hamburg. You’re going to have to.

German Of The Day: Stiff Upper Lippe

January 16, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Donald Trump, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Merkel, Migrants, NATO, Protectionism, Refugees 1 Comment

That means stiff upper lip.

And that’s what meany Berlin politician types are struggling with to keep up after Donald Trump’s latest bizarre attacks against Germany, the EU and NATO.

In trying to console themselves, however, many German stiff-upper-lippers remind the rest of us that Donald Trump is also against the UN, the CIA, the FBI, AC/DC, TCP/IP and even LSD itself, to name just a few. Although the LSD…

With a stiff upper lip, Steffen Seibert instead pledged that Berlin would “co-operate closely” with the Trump administration.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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