Who Woke Up Insulation Nation?

November 19, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: France, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Paris, Terror, Terrorism, War 5 Comments

Like how rude is that? Even if they’re only awake for a few minutes it’s still uncalled for.

* Germans long felt insulated after opposing 2003 Iraq war

* Germany-France soccer game was one of Paris targets

* Cancelled match this week brought threat closer to home

* Vice chancellor shuns war rhetoric favoured by Hollande

After years of feeling insulated from militant Islamist threats, Germans are worrying that they too could be subject to attacks like those suffered last week in Paris.

Ain’t no big deal, though. They’ll be back to sleep in no time, folks. War? What, me worry? The answer is always…

“Die ganz klare Antwort ist nein.”

Germany To Double Its Presence In Mali to 18 Men

November 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, France, German, Germans, Germany, Mali, Paris, Terror, Terrorism, War Leave a comment

Eager to help its neighbor France redistribute its military forces in the wake of the terrorist attacks on Paris, and keen to stay out of harm’s way while pretending to have a real military of its own, Germany has generously volunteered to increase the number of its already sizable forces presently stationed in Mali. Some sources close to the chicly coiffed head of the German war machine herself have even suggested that she may even actually double the number to a full 18 men (that’s a 1 and an 8). Personen (persons), I mean.

Meanwhile… Earlier on Tuesday, French President Francois Hollande said the French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle would head to the eastern Mediterranean offshore areas of Syria and Lebanon, instead of the Persian Gulf as previously announced, to support military operations against the Islamic State (IS) extremist group.

Die Bundeswehr beteiligt sich an der UN-Mission Minusma in Mali derzeit unterstützend mit neun Soldaten.

PS: When Germans say nein they mean nine, damn it.

German Of The Day: Bündnisfall

November 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts Tags: Article 5, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Language, NATO, Paris, Syria, Terror, Terrorists, War 2 Comments

That means casus foederis in Latin. OK, OK, and that means a “case for the alliance.” The NATO alliance, that is. Article 5. And that’s the case we have in Paris right now.

The Islamic State just attacked us. This isn’t rocket science, folks.

The coordinated terror attacks across Paris that left more than 120 dead and hundreds wounded have prompted calls for global intervention from France’s allies against the Islamic State group, which took responsibility for the attacks. As world leaders decried the attacks as an “act of war” and international media trumpeted the arrival of World War III, security experts said Saturday a perfect storm could be brewing for an invocation of the NATO’s Article 5, the clause declaring an attack against one ally to be an attack against all.

“Das war ein Kriegsakt einer feindlichen Armee, des ‘Islamischen Staates,'” Wir befinden uns im Krieg mit dem ‘Islamischen Staat'”

This Takes Putin-Understanding To A Whole New Level

March 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Jihadis, Pacifism, Putin, Russia, Ukraine, War Leave a comment

Despite recent drawbacks regarding German esteem levels for Russia, Putin-Understanding still seems to be alive and well in Germany. It’s even become more, I dunno, active-like. More than 100 German citizens have joined the ranks of pro-Russian rebel fighters in eastern Ukraine.

Unlike German jihadis who went to fight with the “Islamic State” in Syria, German citizens participating in the conflict in eastern Ukraine did not have to worry about facing prosecution back home…

There are currently many German youths who post pictures of themselves with weapons and uniforms in the Internet, boasting of their participation in the Ukraine struggle. One German has lost his life fighting for the separatists on February 12, research by the German weekly (Die Welt am Sonntag) revealed.

Tanks For Nothing, Vlad

January 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, History, Hurt Feelings Tags: Armament, Arms Buildup, Crimea, Fulda Gap, Germany, Leopard 3, Military, Putin, Russia, Tanks, Ukraine, War Leave a comment

The end of the Cold War didn’t necessarily mean the end of war between big countries, and Russia’s invasion of neighboring Ukraine undermines the notion that a quiet Europe is forever free from war. And modern warfare means tanks. Germany recently bolstered their current arsenal of tanks by buying and upgrading 20 Leopard 2A7 tanks acquired from the Netherlands, though originally from Canada.

Upgrading old tanks is fairly routine and accounts for the dangers of the present. Developing a new advanced tank, instead, is a bet on the future. In August, German company Krauss-Maffei Wegmann (KMW), makers of the current versions of the Leopard tank, merged with French defense company Nexter. Speaking to the merger, KMW CEO mentioned the idea of a Leopard 3 tank, noting that France has a strategic perspective that stretches decades into the future. In October, when the budget committee of Germany’s parliament put together their draft of a 2015 spending bill, the proposal to develop a new tank was quietly noted, and then debated in an independent German armed forces journal.

“Rethinking German Pacifism”

November 6, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Conflict, German, Germans, Germany, Hypocrisy, Military, Pacifism, Peace, Responsibility, War 1 Comment

Would the Germany of today help liberate the Germany of 1944? You don’t need to tap Angela Merkel’s phone to find the answer: It’s no.

Defense-minded politicians in Berlin rail against this picture, arguing that postwar Germany has participated in major military operations. Take Kosovo! Take Afghanistan! Big missions! Don’t be fooled. It is perfectly clear by now that these interventions hardly represent the rule; rather, they are two exceptions from a convenient and holier-than-thou foreign policy attitude, one the Germans have cultivated over the past 70 years.

Jochen Bittner is a political editor for the weekly newspaper Die Zeit.

Bundeswehr Afghan Troops Now Marching Through Leipzig

October 20, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Anniversaries, Battle of Nations, Battles, Bundeswehr, Humor, Kunduz, Leipzig, Military, Napoleon, Nationalism, Pacifism, Satire, Taliban, Terror, Völkerschlacht, War Leave a comment

With nowhere to put their dreaded and battle-tried Bundeswehr troops after the recent pullout from the Afghan province of Kunduz (German troops in Afghanistan are now being reduced from 4,000 to 800), Bundeswehr strategists have decided to use them for what they hope will be the decisive battle between Napoleon’s forces and allied troops from Austria, Prussia, Russia and Sweden instead.

German Defense Minister Thomas de Maiziere noted that a victory against the cunning French emperor would be “a turning point not only for the Bundeswehr, but also for German society itself” and would finally prove to the GermanVolk and even the rest of the world out there that the Bundeswehr “will actually shoot at people if they like absolutely, positively have to, but of course only if the UN and Starfleet Command have OK’d it in writing first.”

Thousands of people will don period costumes, mount horses and raise their muskets and sabers to recreate the decisive battle between Napoleon’s forces and allied troops from Austria, Prussia, Russia and Sweden.

Rookie Dictator Just Can’t Get Anybody To Take Him Seriously

April 5, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Health, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Communism, Dictatorships, Diplomacy, Humor, Implosion, Kim Jong Un, North Korea, Nuclear weapons, Satire, Totalitarianism, War 2 Comments

In the latest feeble attempt to get the entire world to cower in fear before him, AZUBI (apprentice) communist dictator Kim Jong Un has now warned the German embassy in Pyongyang (and other foreign embassies as well) to consider evacuating their employees ASAP.

North Korea will not be able to guarantee their safety in the event of the imminent conflict and subsequent Weltuntergang (Armageddon) which is about to take place honest I swear it is, he said.

And if these employees of yours are not evacuated real soon like, Kim Jong Un then went on to say, he may then have to seriously consider airing a live worldwide television broadcast (OK, YouTube) in which he will hold his breath until his face turns blue. No, he means red.

Nordkorea, das wegen seines Atomwaffenprogramms international isoliert ist, reiht seit Wochen militärische Drohungen insbesondere gegen die USA und Südkorea aneinander. Am Donnerstag hatte der Generalstab der nordkoreanischen Volksarmee mitgeteilt, ein Atomangriff auf die USA sei nun “offiziell genehmigt.”

Literally Hundreds March For Peace Again In Germany This Easter

March 31, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Demonstrations, Easter, Easter Marches, Egotism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Peace, Satire, Self-centeredness, The Peace Movement, War, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

Literally hundreds of German peace activists spent several hours this weekend in numerous German cities protesting against one or two (or even three) important peace-related issues like…

1) German “killer drones” that don’t exist,
2) Bundeswehr recruitment at German schools and
3) Countries like Mali and Syria that should stop being so warlike already (although everybody knows that Germany will NEVER EVER be involved there militarily in any meaningful way EVER) and just go away and leave us, as in them, alone.

Es ist an der Zeit: Sagt Nein!

Die westdeutsche Friedensbewegung hat ihre Wurzeln im Protest gegen das atomare Wettrüsten während des Kalten Krieges. 1983 erlebte sie ihren Höhepunkt mit Hunderttausenden Demonstranten in Bonn, die gegen die Stationierung von amerikanischen Atomraketen protestierten.

German Military To Acquire Armed Drones They Will Never Use

February 1, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, Drones, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Politics, Satire, Technology, War, Warfare 1 Comment

Germany’s military is planning to acquire armed drones which they will never use in a zillion years its Defense Minister said on Friday, reigniting a heated debate in Germany over the ethics of not using such aircraft.

The drones would protect German soldiers in dangerous situations, if we would ever use them that is, which of course we wouldn’t, as German soldiers are never put in dangerous situations in the first place, Thomas de Maiziere told the German government’s YouTube channel in an interview.

Critics of such German drone non-strikes argue that they would end up failing to kill high numbers of innocent civilians and that they would frequently not be launched across sovereign states’ borders – far more frequently than conventional attacks by piloted German aircraft that are never ever launched from anywhere to anyplace, either.

Prior to the official announcement, German opposition lawmakers had already condemned the pointless purchase of the useless, lame-ass, purposeless armed drones, with the head of the Greens parliamentary group Juergen Trittin saying that they could lower the threshold for German military non-engagement even lower than it already is.

“We have a gap in our capabilities which we want to close.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: War