German Of The Day: Gleichberechtigung

October 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Crime, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Language, Political correctness, Prisons, Sex Offenders 1 Comment

That means equality, emancipation, equal status.

You know, like with prison personnel? Although that’s not quite what this female correctional facility employee got as she accompanied a sex offender during his accompanied prison leave. She got sexually abused instead, before the guy hung himself.

Let women staff accompany convicted sex offenders on the outside? Why, uh, of course. You got to go with the times, bro. Only an outdated primitive like myself would think that maybe that might not be such a terribly good idea.

Wie konnte es zu der schrecklichen Tat in Niedersachsen kommen? Warum musste ausgerechnet eine Frau den verurteilten Triebtäter begleiten?

It’s Kind Of Like Your County Fair Back Home

October 12, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Hotness Tags: Berlin, Erotica, Fairs, German, Germans, Germany, Sex, Trade Fairs, Venus Leave a comment

Only they’re a little rougher at the pig exhibition here.

A massive erotica trade fair kicked off in Berlin today with thousands of horny punters streaming through its doors to see the latest designs in sex dolls, bedroom toys and porn.

The annual Venus International Erotic Trade Fair is a calendar highlight of the porn industry and even has a “show arena” where live performances are held.

Insgesamt 250 Aussteller sind vor Ort, um über 30.000 Besucher zu unterhalten. Von den neuesten Sex-Spielzeugen über futuristische Gadgets wie menschenähnliche Sexpuppen und fast reale Pornos in Virtual Reality, hier sollte besser niemand Berührungsängste zeigen.

German Of The Day: Staatsfunk

October 10, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: ARD, Der Spiegel, Journalism, Media, State TV, ZDF Leave a comment

That means state broadcasting. And that doesn’t exist here in Germany, of course.

Or at least that’s what Germany’s state broadcasters are always telling us.

It’s just that these non-state broadcasters, unlike Der Spiegel, for example, don’t have to turn a profit because they are financed by the state (taxation). Despite not being state broadcasters, I mean. It’s complicated.

Bei einem öffentlich-rechtlichen Sender zu arbeiten oder bei einem Verlag, das unterscheidet sich nicht so sehr. Jedenfalls nicht, solange es um die Inhalte geht. Das Geschäftsmodell allerdings unterscheidet sich durchaus: Während Verlage wie der SPIEGEL das Budget für ihre Angebote erst erwirtschaften müssen, nehmen es öffentlich-rechtliche Sender zu guten Teilen über Rundfunkgebühren ein.

Airbusted

October 9, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Airbus, Corruption, Dieselgate, German, Germans, Germany 2 Comments

Here’s the latest big corrupt German corporation (OK, European corporation) valiantly fighting coruption – within ist own corrupt corporation.

After getting caught, of course. And here we thought they were all straight up and flew right, right? Deutsche Bank, Volkswagen, Airbus, etc.

“We are in this situation because we decided last year to disclose the issues we had ourselves uncovered to government authorities and investigation agencies,” he said, adding: “This was the right course of action.”

Airbus im Korruptionssumpf – Schwarze Kassen und dubiose Deals: In mehreren Ländern laufen Ermittlungen gegen den Airbus-Konzern. Dem Unternehmen drohen wegen diverser Altlasten aus der Vergangenheit Strafen in Milliardenhöhe. Noch ist offen, ob auch gegen Konzernchef Tom Enders ermittelt wird.

USA

October 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Profit, Weapons, Weapons Exports 2 Comments

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

German weapons firms have found eager buyers in the United States. Stats show that stock prices of US gunmakers rise after shootings like the one in Las Vegas…

Heckler & Koch (H&K), based in Oberndorf, southern Germany, is currently building a $23 million (€19.55 million) gun factory in Columbus, Georgia, that will exclusively make “sports and hunting” weapons for the US civilian market.

“We’re the Porsches.”

Kiss Me You Big Dummy

September 29, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Corruption, Gazprom, Putin, Rosneft, Schroder Leave a comment

But no more tongues.

Already head of the shareholders’ committee for Nord Stream (majority-owned by Russian state gas company Gazprom), Vlad Putin’s point man/gas man Gazprom Gerd Schroeder (he’s a former German chancellor (SPD) or something) has now been named head of the board of directors of Russian state oil giant Rosneft.

Rosneft is on the European Union’s list of companies facing sanctions following Russia’s annexation of Crimea, for starters, but who’s going to make a stink about that?

The chair of the Bundestag’s Foreign Affairs Committee, Norbert Röttgen, told German public broadcaster ZDF on Friday that it was “completely unbelievable” that Schröder would “cash in” on his earlier role as chancellor at a Russian company.

Rosneft was a “central building block” in Russian President Vladimir Putin’s system of power, Röttgen said. He went on to accuse Schröder of working to heighten Germany’s energy dependence on Russia.

Completely unbelievable? This has been going on for years, folks. What’s there not to believe about it now? We live in a world where there are no consequences for behavior like this. Get used to it already.

If I Had A Vision I’d Go See My Doctor

September 21, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Angela Merkel, CDU, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Politics, Refugees 3 Comments

Die Mitte (the middle) is where it’s at, folks. Well it’s certainly where I’m at. And you can’t have visions from here in the middle. I mean, I may not always know what I stand for but I always know where I’m standing..

And that’s what Germans want, the middle. The middle of the middle, even. The middler the better. No meddling with the middle. We’re right in the middle of an election campaign, after all. Did you know that Mittelmaß (literally “the middle measure”) means mediocrity in German?

Sure, there was a little Abweichung (deviation) from the middle with that batshit crazy refugee number of mine. Quite a big deviation, actually. But I apologized. Sort of. And now I’m back home, smack dab in the middle of where you want me to be. Just call me. Mutti. Mutti in the middle.

See you on Sunday!

Perhaps the closest she came to setting out a vision was a year ago, as she presented this year’s budget in parliament. Germany, she said, has seen a lot of change since World War II, and “change isn’t a bad thing.” But she also vowed to defend the status quo in the broadest sense of the term: “Germany will remain Germany, with all that we love and hold dear about it.”

“Whoever has visions should go see a doctor.”
– Helmut Schmidt

399,000 Euros

September 20, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking Tags: ARD, German, Germans, Germany, Public TV, Taxation, TV, ZDF 2 Comments

That’s what one regional director among the “public-sector broadcasters” (state TV) earns here annually – that guy down there. There a dozen or two of these directors out there, by the way.

Why that’s more than the President of the United States makes (not that our current President particularly cares about what he gets paid).

Is TV that good here in Germany, you ask? Why yes, it is. Just ask that regional director. It is in fact so good that all Germans are permitted to finance it with a so-called Abgabe, or contribution. Contribution sounds better than tax. Contribution contributes more to the warm and fuzzy feeling everybody has here about state-run TV. And it also contributes to that guy’s ridiculous salary, too. But quality has its price. And as viewers are told time and time and time again, what they are watching is Quality pur (pure).

Wenn man immer geringere Bezahlung fordere, könnten sich am Ende nur noch Milliardäre leisten, eine öffentlich-rechtliche Anstalt zu leiten.

The Case Of The Missing Migrants

September 18, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Borders, German, Germans, Germany, Human Traffickers, Migrants, Refugees, Smugglers Leave a comment

It’s not all that mysterious, really. And certainly nothing new.

After finding 51 migrants in a Turkish truck at the Polish border on Saturday, 48 of those 51 detained have now disappeared without a trace from the initial reception facility they had been placed in. That’s German efficiency for you, I guess. No wonder this migrant smuggling business is booming here these days. It’s a piece of cake.

Authorities said that the migrants were traveling from Iraq, adding that none of them had passports or other papers.

In einem türkischen Lkw brachten Schleuser 50 Flüchtlinge nach Brandenburg. Jetzt sind 48 von ihnen aus einer Erstaufnahme-Einrichtung verschwunden.

German Of The Day: Nichtwähler

September 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: AfD, Die Partei, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Political Parties, Satire, Voting 2 Comments

That means non-voters.

And who do German non-voters vote for? Die Partei, of course.

Twelve straight years of Angela Merkel have left politics feeling a little dry for young people in Germany. But now a satirical party is experiencing a surge in popularity after it was set up as a joke at the expense of the old system…

In the last few months the party has seen its membership swell to reach more than 25,000, just shy of the 26,000 members of the rising and much-publicised extreme-right party Alternative fur Deutschland (AfD), which is expected to enter parliament for the first time this year.

Nichtwähler wählen: Die Partei.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habitudes