What Are 20,000 Jobs?

If they are being offered for the sake of Germany’s beloved Energiewende (energy turnaround), I mean (and if you’re not one of the 20,000, of course)?

There is a certain logic here. I think. First you phase out German nuclear power plants because of the Fukushima disaster in Japan (I still haven’t figured out this part yet), then you phase out thousands of Japanese jobs due to the loses incurred by the energy companies due to this hasty (as in immediate) phase-out.

Oops, sorry. I just took a closer look at the article. Those are German jobs that are about to be phased-out, of course. Duh. Look folks, I’m not a German energy turnaround expert here you know. Forgive me for the confusion. Technically, it’s not even mine. I’m just trying to pass it on as best I can.

Branche verliert durch Atomausstieg Geld – Eine Reihe von Studien hatte in früheren Jahren bereist festgestellt, dass der Netto-Effekt der Ökostrom-Subventionen auf dem Arbeitsmarkt bestenfalls Null ist.

Berlin Air Show To Be Held At Creepy Unfinished Ghost Airport

In a move meant to liven up the world’s oldest and perhaps stodgiest air and space trade fair, organizers of Germany’s ILA have decided to hold this year’s show on the grounds of Berlin’s infamous haunted Berlin-Brandenburg Ghost Airport.

Local legend has it that the abandoned ghost airport, originally planned to actually be completed one day and used as a real airport with real airplanes and passangers and the whole bit, fell under the curse of a group of disgruntled Brandenburg witches protesting potential Fluglärm (fly-over noise) and can never be completed until Berlin’s city government presents its first balanced budget or hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

A spotless new runway, so far unused for commercial flights, will finally feel the burn of rubber.

Well Banks Are Bad, Aren’t They?

So what’s the big deal? Now all of ze Europe officially has a bad bank, too.

It’s called the ECB and is the “bad bank for all the junk debt of Europe.”

“Blank cheque for the indebted states,” was the headline of the top-selling Bild newspaper, a harsh, populist critic of the bailouts for Greece and other struggling euro zone nations, adding that the ECB move could render the euro “kaput”.

“Financial markets cheer the death of the Bundesbank.”

Germans Just Love The ECB’s New Bond-Buying Program

Not.

Which brings us to our next topic: The latest greatest German angst survey. A new study by R+V Versicherung (insurance) has just found out what Germans loved to be scared of most these days: The climbing cost of living (63 percent of those asked).

Außer den “Standard-Ängsten”, die die R+V Versicherung seit zwanzig Jahren bei 2500 Deutschen abfragt, stehen alljährlich auch aktuelle Themen zur Debatte.

German Teflon

Or Berlin Teflon, if you prefer. Whatever you want to call it, it’s way more teflony or teflonodelic than other kinds of Teflon out there.

Just ask Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit (SPD) after the opening of the city’s new airport has been postponed yet again (no joke) and now won’t be ready nearly two full years later than planned. It’s his baby, you see.

“Not to mince words, Klaus Wowereit can pack his bags as Berlin mayor. Anyone who recklessly gambles with the future of a whole region, wasting hundreds of millions of euros (…) and covers up instead of looking into mistakes is not qualified to be managing a metropolis. Wowereit is not the only one who has failed in relation to the BER project, but he is the main culprit. People are not going to forget that. No matter what he does, his time is up.”

But what do you think will happen, meine Damen und Herren? Not a damned thing. This is Germany. And worse still, some politicians are just never held accountable for what they do, no matter what what they do, or don’t. But not just here. I know of this one guy from another country, for instance (the president of the something or the other) who could get caught robbing a 7-Eleven at gunpoint and nobody would care. It just ain’t right, I tell ya. But it’s da way of da woild.

German commentators are outraged over the postponement, with one (the key word here is one) calling on Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit to resign.

German Wind Offensive More Offensive Than The Rest Of Us Thought It Was

Well that didn’t take very long. Now it’s “Germany’s offshore fiasco.”

Germany wants to pepper its northern seas with offshore wind turbines as part of its ambitious energy revolution. But strict laws, technology problems and multiple delays are turning the massive enterprise into an expensive fiasco. Investors and the public are losing patience.

The Latest Radical New Concept

After years of deliberation, the German Justice Department has finally decided to take a bold leap into uncharted legal waters and official declare that theft should be punishible. OK, in this case it’s “data theft.”

Wow. Talk about a great leap forward for German Gerechtigkeit (justice) or something. The background: Like junkies in need of their next fix, German tax officials (usually from SPD led state governments) have been regularly purchasing stolen goods in recent months; data CDs containing lists of German tax evaders with Swiss bank accounts. Needless to say, the SPD & Co. are unhappy about this rather belated juristic revelation.

Is this the beginning of the end of the means justifying the end? Or was it vice versa?

“Datendiebstahl soll strafbar sein.”

Buy Our Debt, Please

Angela Merkel just finished up another quick and dirty visit to China, this time to calm the Chinese down about the euro zone debt crisis and, well, to grovel for money. Neither aim was achieved just yet. But hey, you’ve got to be really patient with the Chinese, I’m told.

“The trip has a lot of ambitions: one, is to explain the euro zone debt crisis to the Chinese and two, convince the Chinese to keep supporting the euro zone and buying the bonds from some of the euro zone countries such as Italy and Spain and also Germany.”

And just in case you were wondering, no. She did not find the time to express German concern for human rights violations in China during this visit.

As Europe’s crisis persists, China increasingly sees Germany—its largest European trading partner—as a vital player in pulling the continent out of its slump, analysts say. Mr. Wen said his talks with Ms. Merkel Thursday have made him “more confident” in Europe’s ability to resolve the crisis.

Grid Your Teeth

And just keep on paying. Or how about grid and bare it?

Germany’s power grid hasn’t kept up with the explosion of new alternative energy sources — particularly the offshore windparks being built in the Baltic Sea and the North Sea off the country’s north coast. Many of those projects are at a standstill, with no way to deliver the power they generate to the mainland.

On Wednesday Merkel’s cabinet hopes to agree on a stop-gap measure to compensate power companies for losses accrued as a result of the delays, but again it will be German consumers who will ultimately suffer.

“The primary reason for the problem lies in the ‘third path’ policymakers have chosen to lead us into the renewable future. There is neither a centrally planned economy to steer the energy system nor are the rules of the market economy allowed to regulate the system according to the laws of supply and demand. Instead, a model of ‘decentralized planned economy’ is being pursued. Municipalities, states, the federal government and the European Union are all creating plans independent of each other and of those affected. There is no coordination…. The result is a fair amount of chaos with policymakers struggling to keep up. Everyone is aware that the situation cannot continue if the renewable energy revolution is to be a success. As such, the question is whether we want to move from where we are today in the direction of a centrally planned economic model or rather in the direction of market economy principles.”

The 30 Percent Solution

That’s how much more German households will likely have to pay for energy in the coming years due to the country’s way cool “energy turnaround.”

Investments of at least 150 billion euros will be needed in the next few years and that’s just the beginning and absolutely positively nothing is working out reibungslos (smoothly) as not planned. And that’s the crux of the biscuit: This is what happens when you do your panicked decision making first and your planning later.

“Wir müssen davon ausgehen, dass die Gestaltung der Energiewende länger dauert als geplant.”