The N-Word

You know, it starts with an n and ends with an r*? Do not even think about using it over here in Germany these days, people. Not that you would even want to or anything, even if you could. I’m just sayin’.

Why is this the case? I’ll tell you why. Because everybody’s all touchy these days. German power grids are less stable than they ought to be and nobody wants to address the reason why that is. Folks have gotten all sensitive and defensive because, well, because of that “power networks more unstable since n-word drop-out” thing.  And no, I didn’t think up that subtitle. I’m just quoting it, sort of. Civilized folks don’t use the n-word. And I ain’t a-gonna use it either.

Kritisch werden könnte es nach Auffassung von Fachleuten generell vor allem in Süddeutschland, wo der Strom der abgeschalteten Atomkraftwerke fehlt.

* “Nuclear”

We Ain’t No Fools

It’s either all or nothing when you’re the SPD and it comes to German tax evaders with Swiss bank accounts. So, uh, we’ll take nothing.

It has to do with principle or something. Rejecting the deal that would have allowed Germans with “undeclared assets in Switzerland to avoid punishment by making a one-off payment” was absolutely essential for Germany’s opposition Social Democrats. Because, well, because why was that again? Oh yeah, now I remember. Because by passing the Swiss tax deal, the Genossen (comrades) explain, this would have made “honest taxpayers feel like fools.”

So now the honest taxpayers the SPD is so concerned about lose out on roughly 180-200bn euros that they will have come up with themselves (because the SPD would never in their wildest dreams ever even consider cutting spending – reducing taxes – on the other side of the equation). But at least they won’t have to feel like they’re fools while doing so.

“The German upper house has missed a major opportunity to reach a fair, optimum and sustainable solution for all parties to definitively settle the bilateral tax issues.”

You Can’t Even Count On German Hypochondria Anymore

One can only muster up just so much angst, I guess. Even if you’re a German. There’s just never going to be enough of it to go around to make everybody happy. I mean unhappy.


 
That’s right. Current German Angstzustände (states of anxiety) just ain’t what they used to be. German angst being the complex, ever-changing and unstable condition that it is, a new Forsa study has indicated that, for the moment at least, Germans are actually more frightened of the ongoing European debt crisis than they are of the worries they make about their own health, or lack of it.

How it could come to this unexpected result is very puzzling for many, myself included, but one researcher has come up with a startling new theory that might explain this sudden and eerie angst turnaround. He believes that the permanent media reports about sicknesses and health risks stir up people’s worries and fears (duh), but with all the media attention being focused on the debt crisis these days, common disease mongering has simply been coming up too short on the angst Skala (scale).

Boy I sure hope that they finally get this Eurpean debt crisis crap over with soon so we can get back to business.

“Es scheint, als ob permanente Medienberichte über Krankheiten und Gesundheitsrisiken auch die Ängste der Menschen schüren.”

Dropping Like Flies?

Or Totgesagte leben länger (there’s life in the old dog yet)?

Last week, the Frankfurter Rundschau filed for bankruptcy. The DAPD press agency had already gone down a few weeks earlier.

Now the German business daily Financial Times Deutschland has become “the latest casualty of the chill winds sweeping the global newspaper industry.”

What was that I read while surfing the other day again? Stuff printed on dead trees? What’s that?

“Ich werde Eure kurzweilige Art zu schreiben wahnsinnig vermissen! Die FTD ist eine tolle Zeitung und ich hoffe, dass ihr wenigstens online weitermachen könnt!”

“Where Is the Tax Money?”

Here are some recent Desertec headlines – with the stress here on desert (as in to desert a sinking ship):

Bosch quits Desertec

Spain Delays Signing Onto Desertec Sahara Solar Project

Siemens to pull out of Desertec initiative

Algeria puts off decision on Desertec solar project

Desertec’s Promise of Solar Power for Europe Fades

As recently as three years ago, many thought that it was only a matter of time before solar thermal plants in North Africa supplied a significant portion of Europe’s energy needs. But Desertec has hit a road block. Industrial backers are jumping ship, political will is tepid and a key pilot project has suddenly stalled.

…The reasons for the political hesitance are clear. Renewable energy projects remain more expensive than traditional fossil fuel plants and tend to require government subsidies.

“Everybody is staring at each other and nobody moves. In this deadly, sometimes embarrassing silence, everybody is praising the project. And then silence again.”

“Dramatically Poor”

German exports fell in September at the fastest pace since late last year, official figures show, adding to evidence that the eurozone crisis has infected the continent’s economic powerhouse.

September imports fell 1.6% and exports declined 2.5% month-on-month, seasonally adjusted data from the Federal Statistics Office showed. Overall exports were down 3.4% from a year earlier but orders from eurozone countries plunged 9.1%.

“The trade figures are a normal consequence of the dramatically poor industrial orders, which have fallen at their sharpest rate in a year.”

Take Your Pick

You can have the German headline Zahl der Jobs seit Obamas Amtsantritt gestiegen (the number of jobs has increased during Obama’s term of office)…

Or you can have the German headline Arbeitslosenquote steigt vor US-Wahl leicht (the jobless rate climbs slightly before the US election – with the emphasis on slightly here, people).

The main thing is that they both remain misleading. I guess this psychological prepping now will be needed later to explain how dumb and ungrateful Americans are (if Obama loses) or how truly deserving his magnificent victory really was (if he wins).

Man of man. You can almost cut the nervous German nervousness here with a knife right now.

Arbeitslosenzahlen lassen Obama aufatmen.

Is Possession Really Nine-Tenths Of The Law?

Strange. Stored abroad since the Cold War in case of a Soviet invasion, nearly half of Germany’s gold reserves are stored in the United States.

Stranger still: The Bundesbank or other independent auditors have never actually physically checked the gold’s authenticity or weight but have relied on “written confirmations by the storage sites” instead.

Now folks are starting to, you know, wonder (paranoia runs deep)? Hey, central banking at its best is all I can say. It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s just that we don’t trust you.

“Ein Teil der Diskussion in Deutschland ist schon einigermaßen grotesk.”

Merkozy This Is Not

How about Hollmerk?

The two capitals (Berlin and Paris) always begin from very different positions, whether there is a socialist or conservative administration in Paris.

The concern in Berlin is over what is seen as the absence of a clear strategy on eurozone reform from the new French government. There is a deep suspicion that France is happy to have a weaker euro, higher inflation, and a looser monetary policy than Germany.

Mr Hollande’s refusal to incorporate the recent “fiscal compact” into the French constitution is one reason that Germany is now pushing for every country to sign a bilateral budget “contract” with the European Commission, that can be enforced by a powerful budget commissar… But Paris regards Ms Merkel as being overly focused on building deeper European political integration in a way that ignores deep-seated reticence in France reflected in the 2005 referendum defeat of the then-planned EU constitution.