High Five Claudia

Or high, anyway.

Claudia

How did the high five and theocratic rule in Iran come to cross paths recently? Well, this past weekend at the Munich Security Conference, Claudia Roth, who heads the German Green Party, which represents 11% of the country, was photographed engaged in an enthusiastic high five with the Iranian Ambassador to Germany Ali Reza Sheikh Attar.

The story is beginning to make waves in Germany because Iran’s leaders routinely deny that the Holocaust ever happened, which is a crime in Germany. An example came soon after at a forum with the German Council on Foreign Relations on Monday when Iran’s Foreign Minister Ali Akbar Selehi was invited to visit the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. Selehi ignored the invitation and then passed on answering a question about Holocaust denial in his country by simply saying “Any holocaust is a human tragedy.” When asked if there has been more than one Holocaust, Selehi told the packed audience that it was up to them to find out.  

Claudia Roth’s Green Party arose from the German student movement of the 1960s, recalcitrant in thumbing their noses at the previous generation who had pro-Nazi tendencies. They championed human rights and cast themselves as the enlightened and progressive leaders of Germany’s bright future.

So why is the head of the Green Party so cozy with someone whose country’s fascism represents the complete opposite of the Green Party pillars? Roth has issued a statement downplaying the encounter, but unfortunately, not even German has a word for how this incident makes any sense.

Attar werde vorgeworfen, dass er in den “80ern als Gouverneur im Iran Oppositionelle aufhängen ließ”. Attar war nach der islamischen Revolution von 1979 Gouverneur der Provinzen Kurdistan und West-Aserbaidschan gewesen. Seit 2008 ist er Botschafter in Deutschland und nicht zuletzt damit beschäftigt, Kritik an Menschenrechtsverletzungen des Regimes in Teheran zurückzuweisen.

Klaus Wowereit Unpopular In Berlin For Some Reason These Days

According to the latest Forsa poll taken here in Berlin, only a small number of Berlin voters hold Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit to be trustworthy, straightforward, competent, able to take criticism and work in a team.

Klaus

So like what’s the problem, right? He’s the perfect political animal.

No, but seriously folks… He’s so disliked at the moment that only two Pirate party politicians are less popular than he is. Party Klaus, I take my Hut off to you!

Nur eine Minderheit der Bürger hält Wowereit für glaubwürdig, gradlinig, kompetent, kritik- und teamfähig. Der einzige Wert, bei dem er im Vergleich zu früheren Umfragen zulegte, ist das Machtbewusstsein.

Poor But Sexy But Inter-State Fiscally Adjusted

Berlin is.

Waste

Here’s a new German word for you: Länderfinanzausgleich. In a nutshell, this means that wealthy German states like Bavaria and Hesse (so-called donor states) are obligated to subsidize poor but sometimes sexy German states like Berlin and Bremen (so-called recipient states) because, well, hell if I know why.

This is also known as “inter-state fiscal adjustment” here. You know, good old fashioned Umverteilung (redistribution of somebody else’s money) or subsidies, if you prefer.

Anyways, Bavaria and Hesse, for one (or two), are mad as hell and aren’t going to take it (or give it) anymore and are bringing an action before the German Verfassungsgericht (Supreme Court) claiming that this type of thing is constitutionally imbalanced and needs to be done away with – at least when it comes to Berlin because the Berlin city/state government consists of a worthless bunch of lazy and wasteful bums who are completely out of control when it comes to spending and would never think of stopping their spending if they aren’t forced to, which is, well, a pretty accurate analysis of the situation here.

This will probably go nowhere, however, because Germans are big fans of something they like to call Solidarität (no English equivalent that I can find other than maybe “supporting lazy and wasteful and sometimes sexy bums”).

“Das Gesamtsystem leidet unter einer zu weitgehenden Nivellierung der Länderfinanzkraft, die den politisch Verantwortlichen eines Landes das Eigeninteresse nimmt, Maßnahmen zur Stärkung der originären Steuerkraft zu ergreifen.”

Is This Any Way For A World President To Act?

I mean lead.

Obama, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate, didn’t focus on creating a better world in his speech. Instead, he talked about a better America, one with more opportunities for immigrants, more rights for homosexuals and less social inequality. Today’s America is deeply divided, but all sides agree on one point: America’s well-being is more important than the world’s.

Barack Obama

Hey, leading from behind ain’t what it used to be. Wait a second. Yes it is.

Europe isn’t in a position to provide decisive leadership. And the US doesn’t want to anymore.

German Military To Acquire Armed Drones They Will Never Use

Germany’s military is planning to acquire armed drones which they will never use in a zillion years its Defense Minister said on Friday, reigniting a heated debate in Germany over the ethics of not using such aircraft.

Drones

The drones would protect German soldiers in dangerous situations, if we would ever use them that is, which of course we wouldn’t, as German soldiers are never put in dangerous situations in the first place, Thomas de Maiziere told the German government’s YouTube channel in an interview.

Critics of such German drone non-strikes argue that they would end up failing to kill high numbers of innocent civilians and that they would frequently not be launched across sovereign states’ borders – far more frequently than conventional attacks by piloted German aircraft that are never ever launched from anywhere to anyplace, either.

Prior to the official announcement, German opposition lawmakers had already condemned the pointless purchase of the useless, lame-ass, purposeless armed drones, with the head of the Greens parliamentary group Juergen Trittin saying that they could lower the threshold for German military non-engagement even lower than it already is.

“We have a gap in our capabilities which we want to close.”

The Worst Is Over

Or something.

Growth

For much of the financial crisis that started in 2007, Germany remained strong and held the envy of modern economies around the world.

In 2010, the industrious country known for its fiscal discipline had GDP growth of 4.2%, followed by respectable 3% GDP growth in 2011.

Unfortunately, for Germans and the world, there are increasing signs the German economy is being marred by the global crisis. In 2012, GDP growth was a meager 0.7%. More significantly, GDP actually contracted by 0.5% in the fourth quarter.

Währung – Deutschland: Devisen: Euro gibt nach – IWF prognostiziert auch für 2013 Rezession im Euroraum

A Boy Named Sue

As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.

Olivia and Klaus

Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.

„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“

How About Berlin Brandenburg Willy-Nilly Instead?

Or maybe Berlin Brandenburg Infamy International?

Willy

For now, Berlin’s new airport is officially called Willy Brandt Airport after the former Germ chancellor and Nobel Peace Prize winner widely acknowledged to have been one of post-war Germany’s greatest leaders.

But the image of the airport has been tarnished so heavily by the construction fiasco surrounding it that the Willy Brandt Foundation appears to regret the choice of name.

“Willy Brandt would probably turn in his grave if he knew that he’s supposed to give his name to this catastrophic airport.”