Category Archives: High Art

If It Wasn’t For Schadenfreude I Wouldn’t Have No Freude At All

May 25, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

This just in: The German joy gene is broken. Holy freakin’ Makrele (mackerel)! Who would have ever thought that?

But here we have it. The latest German joy gene task force survey says: 46 percent of Germans reveal that they are increasingly unable to enjoy anything, 55 percent of younger Germans even claim to feel they have lost their ability to feel good at all and 81 percent of those surveyed said that the only time they experience pleasure is when they have managed to “achieve something” first. You know, like when “a motorcyclist reported experiencing delight when he blew exhaust fumes in the direction of a convertible driver as he accelerated at a green light.”

Wow. I would have never thought that Germans were self-denying overachievers completely incapable of enjoying themselves (unless it’s schadenfreude) and weighed down by their penchant for perfectionism and their inability to relax, you?

Meanwhile, chances to create a sense of well-being lurk everywhere — a glass of wine, a relaxing bubble bath, or a nice restaurant with delicious food. These, of all things, also rankle the Germans. “This glut of offerings pressures people into thinking, ‘I must enjoy everything’.”

Next Bestseller Guaranteed

May 20, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hate, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

It’s a popular Sunday night ritual here in Germany: After Tatort is over, most folks stay tuned in to watch Günther Jauch’s talk show.

And another popular ritual here is to make sure to be empört (outraged, highly indignant) whenever you hear the name Tilo Sarrazin. The reason? This guy has the gall to 1) revel in being politically incorrect by saying out loud what roughtly 80 to 90 percent of the rest of the German population really (if not secretly) thinks and to 2) openly and shamelessly captialize on this by writing lucrative bestsellers about these horrid and despicable views.

His first Tabubruch (taboo breaking): “Germany Is Doing Away With Itself,” a book advocating a more restrictive immigration policy and the reduction of state welfare benefits.

His next big bestseller (to be plugged tonight): “Europe Does Not Need The Euro,” a book, well, the title says it all, doesn’t it?

Needless to say, the politically correct political caste is up in arms about tonight’s show already and is calling for a boycott and whatever else they call for in a situation like this and, well, let’s face it. Once you mix popular rituals like these together, live and in color, as the Germans like to say, I am convinced we’ll be getting Fernsehen vom Feinsten (TV at its best) tonight. All for all the wrong reasons, of course, but still.

“Mit Sarrazin sollte sich niemand mehr in eine Talkshow setzen.”

Happy Christi Himmelfahrtskommandotag!

May 17, 2012 By in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Vatertag is also Ascension here (or the other way around), and a real holiday. And a real boon to the German liquor industry, too.

And there really is some connection between the two holidays here somewhere, I think. Jesus is known to have drunk wine and wander around the countryside with his buddies, for instance. Although without the Bollerwagen (handcarts), of course. Nor did they ever drink and drive, as far as I know.

Not so here in Germany, however. Bild tells us that there will be three times as many alcohol-related accidents today as usual. And I believe it, too. Just ask these guys down here.

Herrentag ist Unfalltag!

PS: Christi Himmelfahrt is the Ascension. A Himmelfahrtskommando is a kamikaze operation.

A Blaze Of Glory

May 16, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Looks like you’re toast now, Hertha BSC.

Your relegation playoff defeat at Fortuna Düsseldorf took you out of the big league, yet again.

Although the match go so ugly at times…

That Hertha is now appealing against the result and is requesting a replay, which may or may not be granted.

But if they do get the replay, at least they’ll get the chance to lose fair and square on their own, without any of that pesky soccer fan interference stuff.

“It is written in the rules: if there is an outside influence, which has nothing to do with the game, then the match must be replayed.”

Now That’s What I Call Starting Off With A Bang

May 15, 2012 By in Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

A presidential jet carrying newly inaugurated French President Francois Hollande was hit by lightning en route to Berlin and forced to turn back to Paris, but the Socialist was unharmed and took off again in another plane, a presidential source said.

Damn. This Hollande guy is definitely more flashy than his predecessor Sarkozy was. When it comes to lightning, I mean.

Blitzschlag hin oder her. Angela Merkel empfing den französischen Präsidenten im Kanzleramt per Handschlag.

PS: Is there a metaphor here or something?

How To Throw In The Towel And Do A Comeback In Just Five Short Months!

May 14, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Before.

And after.

A lot can happen in five (5) months. Well a lot sure did for this guy.

The FDP, which supports free markets and low taxes, has traditionally been a kingmaker in German politics… Frustrated with his party’s squabbling leadership, he (Christian Lindner) stepped down as general secretary of the FDP on a national level late last year. But in March the party picked him as its lead candidate in state legislative elections in North Rhine-Westphalia, and got an immediate boost in national opinion polls.

Germans Now Lecturing Americans About Religion

May 11, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hate, Health, Heconomy, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 11 Comments

Or at least I think that’s what they’re doing here. Or maybe they’re just lecturing us about mandatory healthcare insurance, which clearly seems to have some religious significance in Germany.

I mean, we all know how Germans are famous for being so religious and all, but I had no idea that they had begun spreading their evangelical zeal to Obamacare, of all things. But spread they have and we should take their prosthelising in earnest (they certainly do).

Why just take a look at some of the deeper observations to be found within this religious tract, I mean Spiegel article:

In Germany, people are baffled by how hostile a country as religious as the United States can be to the principle of mandatory healthcare insurance.

The US comes across to not only Germans, but to many Europeans, as a religious country. Don’t religious Americans love their neighbors?

“For me the US is a very religious country. It doesn’t matter which religion I look at — love thy neighbor is a very, very important point in religion.”

For her, the apparent deep religiousness of many Americans doesn’t jibe with their unwillingness to be part of a healthcare community.

Well there we have it. Sin and transgression everywhere you look. The devil has entered our US-Amerikan house and will divide and fall it. All because, well, I’m not really sure why. But I think it might be because we as Americans don’t worship mandatory healthcare insurance like other folks do. Amen.

Thanks, Germany. We’ll come to see the light yet. You just wait and see.

Germans Can’t Fathom US Aversion to Obama’s Healthcare Reform

German Ecological Energy Turnaround Working!

May 10, 2012 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

As long as power plants that burn fossil fuels remain in operation, that is.

The Federal Network Agency warns that if ecologically questionable coal-fired power stations do not stay in operation, the German power grid will crash. Especially in Southern German “assured capacities” are missing.

Power stations old as dirt (and at least as dirty), ready to be shut down due to the high environmental pollution they cause, will have to remain in operation.

Details, details. The main thing is that Germany’s ideologically-fired power elite stay in power long enough to keep that visionary progress of theirs a comin’.

Die ökologische Energiewende in Deutschland scheint ohne umweltschädliche fossile Kraftwerke nicht zu funktionieren.

The Next Dumb Allusion To The Berlin Wall

May 9, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, History, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Something called the Peace Wall, being part of Berlin’s Biennale, which will focus on political art this year (isn’t all art political?), has been constructed just down the road from Checkpoint Charlie by a Macedonian artist to “underline the gap between the upper Friedrichstrasse – characterized by fancy shops and expensive flats – and the poor southern part of the road which heads to the multi-ethnic Kreuzberg district.”

You know, it’s all about the gentrification “issue” and that terrible gap between rich and poor so prevalent in, uh, Germany.

“A wall is a symbol of division,” the artist says. “And is in itself capable of highlighting invisible gaps.”

True, I guess. But this lady clearly doesn’t know what the real Berlin Wall was about (the fewest out there who make comparisons like these do) or she would have chosen another object to work with. There were no invisible gaps about the Berlin Wall at all. It was for way real, concrete in the truest sense of the word, and had nothing at all to do with any of these fairy tale divisions artists living in free societies today have to struggle with all the time like they do, or seem to want to.

Hey, this is art. And art doesn’t have to have anything to do with reality, does it? Whether you call it political or not.

„Sie erreichen mit dieser Mauer, dass Sie diese Ecke erst recht sterben lassen.“