We Are Not Soft On Russia

March 28, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: China, Crimea, Dependency, Exports, Free speech, Germany, Human Rights, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Trade Leave a comment

Germany said today. “We’re pretty soft on China, though.”

When asked why this is, the craven central European country replied “Well duh. We’re just like real pushovers when it comes to Chinese cash, that’s all. Isn’t every exporting powerhouse? We had a trade volume with China of 140.4 billion euros ($193 billion) last year, after all. That makes them our number 3 trading partner! And here you thought we were just dependent upon Russian gas.”

Asked whether China should stand up more assertively against Russia’s actions in Ukraine, Xi said that “China has no private interests” on the matter and added that Beijing always insists on non-interference in other countries’ internal affairs, as well as respecting nations’ territorial integrity.

“It can’t work without Russian gas”

March 27, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: CO2, Coal, Dependency, Energy, Energy Turnaround, Gas, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear energy, Power, Russia Leave a comment

The German energy turnaround can’t, that is. And that’s why the way things look right now, the turnaround is about to get turned around – yet again.

If Germany makes its goal of having 80 percent of its power come from renewable sources by 2050, there is no question it will add to the country’s energy security. But along the way, as it takes nuclear power plants offline and builds up its renewable network, the country remains reliant on fossil fuels – and that means Russia.

Germany gets some 35 percent of its natural gas and oil from Russia, as well as significant quantities of coal, a dependency that weakens Germany’s energy switchover plan, according to Hans-Werner Sinn, a prominent economist.

“Es wird eine neue Betrachtung der gesamten Energiepolitik geben”

The Guy On The Right Is Clearly Larry

March 26, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Barroso, Crimea, Diplomacy, EU, Europe, Humor, Obama, Putin, Satire, The Three Stooges, Van Rompuy 1 Comment

So the guy in the middle must be Curly.

Best Friends Again Thanks To Putin

Wie ernst ist einem US-Präsidenten, der mit einer zunehmend isolationistischen Heimatfront ringen muss, eine neue Annäherung an Old Europe?

Und wie ernst meint es Europa mit seiner neuen Geradlinigkeit in der Krise, etwa wenn es darum geht, scharfe Wirtschaftssanktionen gegen Russland zu verhängen?

McDonald’s Wastes 600000 Liters Of Water With Every Happy Meal Served

March 23, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Fast Food, German, Germans, Germany, Guilt, Humor, McDonald's, Reports, Satire, Waste, Water, WWF 2 Comments

Give or take a 0 or two, of course. And this is shocking. And bad.

The use of this water – used primarily for the cultivation of potatoes and grain, the feeding of livestock and the manufacture of beverages for McDonald’s customers – needs to be stopped immediately.

It could be used much more efficiently, or so the current WWF reports imply, if it were used for the cultivation of potatoes and grain, the feeding of livestock and the manufacture of beverages instead.

So stop eating fast food already and thus provide the rest of the world with this otherwise wasted water (“Over 60000000000000000000000000… liters served!”). What an epiphany. Why hadn’t anyone figured out this simple, simple truth long, long ago?

Burger, Pommes frites und ein Softdrink: Schon die Produktion eines einzigen Fast-Food-Menüs verbraucht nach WWF-Berechnungen 6000 Liter Wasser.

Wandel durch Handel

March 20, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germany, Imports, Profit, Putin Crimea, Russia, Sanctions, Trade, Ukraine Leave a comment

Hey, that rhymes!

It means “change through trade” and applies of course to German trade with Russia. And that policy certainly seems to be working great these days, don’t you think?

There’s more Wandel going on in Russia (and in what’s left of a certain country bordering it) than even the Germans can Handel.

Sanctions and other measures must come step by step, giving Mr Putin chance after chance to stop further escalation.

Russia

March 19, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms exports, Crimea, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Military, Pacifism, Profit, Putin, Rheinmetall, Russia Leave a comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

In addition to purchasing two French helicopter carriers for $1.6 billion, the Russians turned to the German firm Rheinmetall Defence to build a $132 million modern army training center — Mulino — near Nizhny Novgorod on the Volga.

Ein Gefechtsübungszentrum bei Mulino soll demnach noch in diesem Jahr dem russischen Heer übergeben werden. Im Moment sehe man keine Risiken für eine termingerechte Lieferung und wolle über die Folgen einer etwaigen weiteren Verschlechterung der Beziehungen zu Russland nicht spekulieren, sagte der Sprecher weiter.

Germans So Concerned About Crimea Annexation They Close A $7 Billion Energy Deal With Russia

March 18, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, Exports, Gas, Germany, Imports, Oil, Profit, Russia, RWE Leave a comment

The German utility RWE announced that it had reached preliminary agreement to sell its oil and natural gas subsidiary, RWE Dea, to two Russian billionaires, Mikhail Fridman and German Khan, for 5.1 billion euros, or about $7 billion.

After the deal is finalized later this year it will be one of the priciest for Russian business.

Tsar Vladimir Vs. The Empire Of Peace

March 17, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, EU, Germany, Imperialism, Merkel, Obama, Putin, Russia, Ukraine Leave a comment

Gee, I wonder who is going to win? Or who just won, I mean.

Russia is back and intent to recoup its losses suffered at cold war’s end. Mr. Obama’s America is difficult to fathom as it disarms and turns inward (for “a little nation-building at home,” as the president keeps intoning). So suddenly, Europe – this self-proclaimed “empire of peace” – has to recalculate, and Germany is the best bellwether of change.

Germany? And the Pres himself? You can kiss Crimea goodbye for good, Ukraine.

Putin will go as far as he can get with minimal risk and effort.

Ronald McDonald Could Take The Stand At Attempted Bonn Bombing Trial

March 16, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bombing, Bonn, Cameras, Humor, Islamist Militants, McDonald's, Satire, Surveillance, Terror, Terrorists, Videos Leave a comment

After having placed charges against four alleged Islamist militants for plotting a failed bomb attack at the Bonn railway station in 2012, German authorities have now contacted the McDonald’s Corporation to try to find out how it could be so easy for them to deliver the incriminating video while the German security cameras aimed at the platform where the explosive device was found didn’t even, well, you know, like exist.

“Our main interest is in establishing how the hell they got permission to install those things here in Germany, and from whom,” one authority said. “It would be really cool if we could do the same thing here too, you know?”

“Of course we also want to make sure that McDonald’s understands the complex implications involved when it comes to questions of video surveillance and matters of privacy in our country,” he continued. “They can’t just go around spying on people in their restaurants like that, you know.”

Die Ungläubigen sollen Blut weinen.

Give Profit A Chance

March 14, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Crimea, Dependency, EU, Exports, Germany, Imports, Pacifism, Profit, Russia, Trade Leave a comment

Germans just want to live in peace and harmony with Russia, people. Regardless of this Crimea episode or not, I mean. Of course they don’t mind living with the profit coming out of Russia, either. But still.

Here’s a fun fact for you: Germany accounts for a third of the EU’s total exports to Russia. So, well, let’s let Europe speak with one unified voice concerning this matter. As long as it is a voice with a strong German accent, I mean.

The Committee on Eastern European Economic Relations, a lobby group representing big businesses, says that 300,000 German jobs depend on trade with Russia, 6,200 companies with German owners are active in Russia, and German companies have invested €20 billion there. No surprise, then, that the committee’s boss calls sanctions “senseless”.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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