Poor But Sexy But Inter-State Fiscally Adjusted

Berlin is.

Waste

Here’s a new German word for you: Länderfinanzausgleich. In a nutshell, this means that wealthy German states like Bavaria and Hesse (so-called donor states) are obligated to subsidize poor but sometimes sexy German states like Berlin and Bremen (so-called recipient states) because, well, hell if I know why.

This is also known as “inter-state fiscal adjustment” here. You know, good old fashioned Umverteilung (redistribution of somebody else’s money) or subsidies, if you prefer.

Anyways, Bavaria and Hesse, for one (or two), are mad as hell and aren’t going to take it (or give it) anymore and are bringing an action before the German Verfassungsgericht (Supreme Court) claiming that this type of thing is constitutionally imbalanced and needs to be done away with – at least when it comes to Berlin because the Berlin city/state government consists of a worthless bunch of lazy and wasteful bums who are completely out of control when it comes to spending and would never think of stopping their spending if they aren’t forced to, which is, well, a pretty accurate analysis of the situation here.

This will probably go nowhere, however, because Germans are big fans of something they like to call Solidarität (no English equivalent that I can find other than maybe “supporting lazy and wasteful and sometimes sexy bums”).

“Das Gesamtsystem leidet unter einer zu weitgehenden Nivellierung der Länderfinanzkraft, die den politisch Verantwortlichen eines Landes das Eigeninteresse nimmt, Maßnahmen zur Stärkung der originären Steuerkraft zu ergreifen.”

Is This Any Way For A World President To Act?

I mean lead.

Obama, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate, didn’t focus on creating a better world in his speech. Instead, he talked about a better America, one with more opportunities for immigrants, more rights for homosexuals and less social inequality. Today’s America is deeply divided, but all sides agree on one point: America’s well-being is more important than the world’s.

Barack Obama

Hey, leading from behind ain’t what it used to be. Wait a second. Yes it is.

Europe isn’t in a position to provide decisive leadership. And the US doesn’t want to anymore.

Me No Steal Golden Cookie

And me no negotiate with cookie terrorists, either, if I were you.

Cookie

Das Unternehmen stellte in Aussicht, 52 000 Packungen Leibniz Kekse an 52 soziale Einrichtungen zu spenden, sollte das von der Fassade des Stammhauses gestohlene Wahrzeichen wieder auftauchen.

If You Want To Watch YouTube Videos in Germany, Go To South Sudan Instead

Over 60 percent of the world’s most popular YouTube videos are blocked in Germany – South Sudan only manages to block about 15 percent.

GEMA

GEMA, which represents recording artists as well as publishers, wants YouTube to pay a fee for each and every video viewed on the site that contains music of one of the artists represented by GEMA (which include every major label artist, as well as most indies). YouTube has rejected that approach, and instead wants to pay a percentage of the ad revenue it makes with those videos.

Negotiations have, well, broken down. Feelings have been hurt. Lawsuits have been filed.

“Dieses Video ist in Deutschland nicht verfügbar, weil es möglicherweise Musik enthält, für die die erforderlichen Musikrechte von der Gema nicht eingeräumt wurden.”

More Green Energy Jobs

More jobs lost to green energy, I mean.

Offshore

Worlee-Chemie GmbH, a family-owned company that has produced resins in the city of Hamburg for almost a century, is trying to escape the spiraling cost of Germany’s shift to renewable energy.

A 47 percent increase on Jan. 1 in the fees grid operators set to fund wind and solar investments is driving the maker of paint ingredients to Turkey, where next month it will start making a new type of hardening agent at a factory near Istanbul.

The levy will cost Worlee 465,000 euros ($620,000) this year, the equivalent of 10 full-time salaries, or one-third of the company’s tax bill. As German labor costs rise at the fastest pace in a decade, the price of weaning the country off nuclear energy by 2022 is crushing the so-called Mittelstand, the three million small and medium-sized businesses like Worlee that account for about half of gross domestic product.

Wow. Now that’s what I call government intervention in action. This German energy turnaround thing is working out practically as well as the European cap-and-trade system itself.

“It could be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back. It comes on top of tax, general production costs, raw-material availability and bureaucracy, which have led to a deterioration of the investment climate in Germany.”

Heino Schlägt Zurück!

Heino (himself), the avenging angel of German Volksmusik, retaliates.

Avenging Engel

Tired of being verarscht (spoofed) by everybody else in the German music industry (and just about everywhere else, for that matter), he has now begun a winter offensive by offending bands like Rammstein and Die Ärzte. By covering their songs, I mean.

They clearly never saw it coming. And word is they don’t like it. The Spießer (bourgeois squares).

Der Schlagerbarde singt die Lieder derer, die ihn bisher so gern verhöhnten. Aber wehren können sie sich dagegen nicht.

The Worst Is Over

Or something.

Growth

For much of the financial crisis that started in 2007, Germany remained strong and held the envy of modern economies around the world.

In 2010, the industrious country known for its fiscal discipline had GDP growth of 4.2%, followed by respectable 3% GDP growth in 2011.

Unfortunately, for Germans and the world, there are increasing signs the German economy is being marred by the global crisis. In 2012, GDP growth was a meager 0.7%. More significantly, GDP actually contracted by 0.5% in the fourth quarter.

Währung – Deutschland: Devisen: Euro gibt nach – IWF prognostiziert auch für 2013 Rezession im Euroraum

Seeing That Other People Have Lives Makes Germans Absolutely Miserable

Germans always knew that Facebook (like Google and practically every other hi-tech company from, uh-hum, Amerika) was somehow EVIL. But at least now they know why.

Neid

Two German universities have discovered that there is rampant German envy, uh, running rampant on Facebook. Apparantly, having to witness other people’s wonderful love lives, super vacation adventures and stunning successes at work makes them near physically ill.

This couldn’t surprise anybody who has spent any time in this country, however. Der deutsche Neid ist einfach ohnesgleichen. German Neid (envy) is unparalleled. It permeates this society to such a degree that practically every individual in the country is affected. I can’t say why this is, of course. But my gut feeling theory is that Germans are, in the end, simply unhappy. And misery loves company.

“We were surprised by how many people have a negative experience from Facebook with envy leaving them feeling lonely, frustrated or angry.”

No Contradiction Here

Just move along, folks. Nothing to look at here.

Loans

While German dedication to saving the German environment by ridding the country of nuclear power is in full swing (sort of), the German government has absolutely no problem using public money to guarantee the construction of nuclear power plants in other countries at the same time.

It’s not a contradiction really, though. Honest. Environment Minister Peter Almaier’s current ministry slogan is “high time that something changed” and they are even trying to set up an international club of countries who have done/will do away with nuclear energy. And that’s the main thing. So something has changed, sort of. The countries Germany is helping to build atomic energy programs for just won’t be allowed to join their club, that’s all.

“It is a gross contradiction, that we are pushing forwards with the change in energy generation while supporting atomic energy abroad.”  

How About Berlin Brandenburg Willy-Nilly Instead?

Or maybe Berlin Brandenburg Infamy International?

Willy

For now, Berlin’s new airport is officially called Willy Brandt Airport after the former Germ chancellor and Nobel Peace Prize winner widely acknowledged to have been one of post-war Germany’s greatest leaders.

But the image of the airport has been tarnished so heavily by the construction fiasco surrounding it that the Willy Brandt Foundation appears to regret the choice of name.

“Willy Brandt would probably turn in his grave if he knew that he’s supposed to give his name to this catastrophic airport.”