German Of The Day: Antanzdiebstahl

Antanzan = to “dance” up, as in to show up, make an appearance. Diebstahl = theft or robbery.

Antanzdiebstahl

Antanzen + Diebstahl = Antanzdiebstahl. This new German word refers to a new method of pickpocket robbery that certain new arrival-types to Germany are now using all across the country, “a type of con in which thieves approach victims and hug or otherwise surprise them, with the aim of distracting them in order to pick their pockets.”

Sex attacks and thefts like the ones that happened in Cologne on New Year’s Eve were also reported in 12 other German states, German media say. The information comes from a leaked report of the federal criminal police.

Germany Overall Best Country In Overall Best Of All Possible Worlds

But they still won’t let you do this here:

Refugees

Forget about trying this, too:

Refugees

Germany was ranked the overall best country in the world, according to the rankings released by US News & World Report on Wednesday…

Algeria was perceived as the worst country of the 60, with Ukraine and Iran rated just above.

And always remember: “Please don’t poop in showers.”

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

Back To The Zukunft

Is this for real, folks? Did they just pop through some 70s wormhole to wreak havoc in our own current space time continuum (assuming there is such a thing as a current one)?

RAF

DNA samples tell us that RAF terrorists (?) retro-terrorized us last June while attempting an armed robbery but we didn’t even notice it because, well, like what were they going to be? RAF terrorists or something? Besides, they botched it.

What is this? I mean, their pictures are still in black and white for crying out loud.

One thing is for certain, though: They did not get away in a DeLorean. They were using a Ford Focus. At least the cops know now that they didn’t get very far. That is definitely one “no future” automobile.

The three fled the scene – a supermarket car park in Gross Mackenstedt – in a Ford Focus, having failed to grab the cash that was inside the van. The two security men inside were unhurt.

Pepper Spray’s Scarce These Days

As you all well know, Germans don’t do guns (unlike uncivilized American types). They are a peace-loving, law-abiding Volk.

Pepper Spray

But hot diggity damn do they ever love buying pepper spray! Some would say da liegt der Hase im Pfeffer (the rabbit’s in the pepper) = And that is crux of the matter.

A spate of hundreds of sex assaults allegedly committed mostly by North African men on New Year’s Eve in Cologne has sparked an “explosion in sales” of pepper spray and non-lethal guns, German officials and an industry chief said.

Authorities are investigating more than 670 criminal complaints — almost 350 of them sexual offenses — after hundreds of women were groped and robbed by groups of men outside the main railway station in the western city.

“Die Verkäufe von Pfefferspay sind seit Sommer 2015 angestiegen. Momentan verkaufe ich an einem halben Tag so viele wie sonst in zwei Monaten, 30 bis 50 Stück können da schon mal über den Tresen gehen.”

German Of The Day: Realitätsverweigerung

That means denying reality.

Invasion

It is very popular in Germany at the moment due to the refugee invasion currently taking place, part of the denial process here being that this invasion isn’t even being referred to as one. They call it the refugee question or situation or policy or crisis instead (crisis is clearly leading at the moment).

It has a long tradition. If German reality deniers don’t like the facts, the facts – or at least the ways they view them – just get twisted around (or we are informed by them that “there are no facts at all”). And that’s a fact. Happens all the time. Everything is relative, you see. See moral relativism.

Latest example: The vast majority of perpetrators committing those infamous New Year’s Eve sex attacks were newly-arrived “migrants” from Morocco and Algeria, for instance. Rather than addressing this very real problem, German reality deniers prefer organizing protest rallies against racism instead. Needless to say, these are always well-covered by the media.

This kind of predictable, incoherent reaction makes me feel sometimes like I’m Donald Sutherland’s character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Have the minds of these people been replaced while they sleep by copies of themselves having some weird, extraterrestrial and, in this case, irrational intelligence? Why are there so many of them acting this way? Is their number increasing? Are the body snatchers going to get me next? I’m going to lay off the sleep for a few months now just to play it safe.

Auch wenn jetzt alle davon reden, man dürfe nichts “unter den Teppich kehren”. Der so hochmoralische wie unehrliche Umgang mit der Flüchtlingsfrage droht uns um die Ohren zu fliegen.

The Magical Misery Tour

Maybe Angela Merkel can do it, but this Bavarian politician dude down below can’t. He’s mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore.

Refugees

And do not, he repeats, do not return to sender.

A bus carrying 31 Syrian refugees is on the way from southern Germany to Berlin, as a Bavarian district councilor followed up on his pledge to German Chancellor Angela Merkel he’d send refugees her way if his district could no longer provide accommodation for them.

Landshut district councilor Peter Dreier said Thursday he wants to “send a sign that refugee policy cannot continue like this.”

“If Germany takes in a million refugees, that means my district will take in a share of 1,800. I will take them. But any more [refugees] I’ll send by bus to your office in Berlin.”

No Evidence Here

That the Istanbul attacker targeted Germans, we read in the Deutsche Welle.

Istanbul

Sure all ten killed were German but that was absolutely positively a pure coincidence so don’t even go there thinking ridiculous and panicky thoughts like that, German Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere tells his countrymen.

This isn’t an attack against Germany (in Turkey). It’s “an attack against humanity,” he says. So Germans shouldn’t feel threatened in that case. Or I guess that’s what he means by that.

“I see no reason to refrain from trips to Turkey.”

The Recklinghausen Connection

No, not staring Gene Hackman. This thriller stars an asylum-seeker French police killed as he tried to storm a Paris police station last week.

Paris

This guy was registered at a German asylum center in the city of Recklinghausen, had a phone with a German SIM card and carried a paper on him in which he pledged allegiance to the leader of the Islamic State. He had also been registered under four different names in Germany.

I don’t think that’s fair. That a poor refugee gets welcomed to Germany four times like that, I mean. Then there are fewer welcomes left to go around for the next wave of folks that comes in. And the next, and the next…

Der Mann posierte in seiner nordrhein-westfälischen Flüchtlingsunterkunft mit einer IS-Fahne. Die Landesbehörden stuften ihn demnach als Verdachtsfall ein, doch im Dezember 2015 verschwand er spurlos aus Recklinghausen.

PS: There’s this German turn of speech I really like: Ich glaub ich bin im schlechten Film. That means I think I’m in a bad movie. I’ve been hearing it more and more these days, too, for some reason.

New Year’s Eve Offenders Apparently Sold Stolen Cell Phones To Refugees

Spiegel Online reports that investigators in Cologne have gotten a fix on several of the cell phones stolen by the perpetrators of the sexual assault and robery attacks committed against hundreds of women on New Year’s Eve.

Cell phones

The puzzling thing here, said investigators say, is that these phones have all been traced to refugee centers or the immediate vicinities thereof.

It is unclear for the moment just how the offenders were able to sell the cell phones to these unsuspecting refugees so quickly and why they were so unfairly singled out as a target group but a task force led by Benedict Cumberbatch has just been airlifted in to clear up this inexplicable mystery in what we hope will be no time. Or at least pronto.

Inzwischen konnten einige in der Silvesternacht gestohlene Handys geortet werden. In manchen Fällen führte deren Spur in Flüchtlingsheime oder deren unmittelbares Umfeld.