Germans Now Not Sure If Whistleblowing Is A Scientific Achievement After All

May 22, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Academics, Edward Snowden, German, Germans, Germany, Honorary Doctorates, Humor, NSA, Rostock University, Satire Leave a comment

Germans are very precise and proper and legalistic when it comes to, well, when it comes to just about anything you can possibly imagine so it shouldn’t surprise any of us out here all that much that the rector of the German university in Rostock, where academics have voted to award NSA leakmeister Edward Snowden himself an honorary doctorate, is now trying to have the decision reversed, his argument being that Snowden’s actions did not fulfill the the university’s required criteria. Dude, like what a party pooper.

It appears that there is some sticky little detail somewhere in their regulations about honorary doctorates only being allowed for “special academic achievement” and the rector, nitpicky like German rectors are, has now pointed out to everyone that Snowden’s leaking to the media of NSA documents doesn’t wirklich (really) constitute that.

This won’t be the last word on this, of course. But still. And there’s still the Nobel Peace Prize on its way, too. So take a chill pill, people. Your hero will get his honors yet.

Datenübergabe keine wissenschaftliche Leistung

Pissed Off German Accidentally Says Something Meaningful

May 21, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anger, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politicians, Putin, Satire, Speeches, Steinmeier, Ukraine, Videos Leave a comment

Putin-Understanders: “Warmonger! Warmonger! Stop the Nazis in Ukraine!”

German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier: “The world does not consist of peace angels on one side and villains on the other. The world is unfortunately more complicated than that. And thank God there are still a few people out there who address this complexity and look for ways out of the crisis in Ukraine.”

“Dieses Maß an Hass und Dummheit, das mir auf dieser Veranstaltung entgegenschallte, hat mich in einem so hohen Maße empört, dass diese Rede so zustande kam, wie sie zustande kam.”

Poll: Four In Five Germans Have No Problem With Germany Being World’s Third Largest Arms Exporter

May 20, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Arms exports, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Military Exports, Pacifism, Polls, Profit, Putin, Responsibility, Russia, Ukraine 1 Comment

No, wait. That was four in five Germans would like to see their armed forces take part in fewer military missions abroad. But still.

Damn. And almost two-thirds think Germany should show caution on foreign affairs. Even more caution than they are already being so overly cautious about already, I mean. Well the Germans certainly have been reckless these past few years, haven’t they?

Calls from abroad for greater German participation showed the respect Germany had won, but could also put Germany under too much pressure.

PS: Speaking of pressure, according to former German Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer himself, “Russia is striving a major power role. That must not and will not be accepted by Europe.”

Die russische Strategie, verloren gegangenes Territorium zurück zu holen, könne man nur mit Entschlossenheit und Härte begegnen, nicht mit Verständnis. „Ein starkes Europa ist Voraussetzung für Sicherheit“, sagte der Ex-Außenminister.

Let It Rot

May 18, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Counter-Culture, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Initiatives, Parks, Propositions, Protest, Tempelhof Airport, Tempelhof Feld Leave a comment

It’s voting time in Berlin again. This time it’s about whether or not good old abandoned Tempelhof Field should be developed or not (for housing, a library, etc.). You know, to actually maybe use it for something other than flying kites?

But as usual we have learned that this would be a terrible thing and that the field needs to be “saved” from such an awful fate, or at least that’s what opponents on the left insist. Urban Romantics need more room to move, especially if they are German ones (“the richest kind”) and being that saying no is so popular and comes so naturally to Germans in general and Berliners in particular, I am quite sure these opponents will win yet again.

Der stillgelegte Berliner Flughafen liegt brach. Nicht weil der Ort belasteter wäre als andere, sondern weil es leichter ist, mit dem “Luxus der Leere” zu kokettieren, als die Geschichte anzunehmen.

Das Tempelhofer-Feld ist eine Oase mitten in Berlin.

OMG! 27% Of Germans Hold Anti-Semitic Views!

May 16, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hate, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Semitism, Distortion, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Jews, Propaganda, Studies, Surveys Leave a comment

Damn. That’s getting dangerously close to the Austrian (28%), Spanish (29%), French (37%) and Greek (69%) levels.

The highest level of anti-Semitism was found in the Palestinian territories of West Bank and Gaza at 93 per cent.

“Our findings are sobering but sadly not surprising.”

German Word Of The Day: Bluff

May 15, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Crimea, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Godzilla, Humor, Leadership, Putin, Russia, Sanctions, Satire, Ukraine Leave a comment

In German, “Bluff” means to mislead by a display of strength or self-confidence when in fact their is no strength or self-confidence there. To display, I mean.

But there’s one problem with this weapon (real sanctions): It can only be used if all EU members agree. In the EU, sanctions need to be decided unanimously. This worked for levels one and two, because they were primarily symbolic acts that affected people close to Putin and imposed no real burden on the EU. But level three would be different, making it unlikely that the EU would agree on sanctions that would have a strong effect on Russia. Europe’s strongest weapon is actually a bluff.

“Clearly there will be economic sanctions if Putin sabotages the vote, but it’s unclear what would constitute sabotage.”

PS: Personally, I think there is only one person on Earth who could possibly stand up to this Putin person. And he’s not even a person himself

Germans Already Lining Up To Be Forgotten By Google

May 13, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Court Rulings, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Google, Humor, Law, Paranoia, Privacy, Satire, Search Engines Leave a comment

Europe’s top court ruling that Google and other Internet companies can now be made to remove “irrelevant or excessive personal information” from search engine results has triggered a virtual stampede of excited Germans demanding that their irrelevant and excessive personal information be removed from the Internet immediately.

“Irrelevant and excessive personal information is the only kind of information I produce,” said one soon-to-be-forgotten Google skeptic. “Or consist of, if you will. So you can bet that I just can’t wait to be wiped out of virtual existence for good!”

“The ruling will help certain people hide their past, making it difficult to access certain information, but not when it concerns public figures, or people in whom there is a genuine public interest. This will result in added costs for Internet search providers who will have to add to their take-down policies the means for removing links to an individual’s data, and develop criteria for distinguishing public figures from private individuals.”

Eurovision?

May 11, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Beards, Conchita Wurst, Contests, Drag Queens, ESC, European Song Contest 2014, Humor, Music, Peace and Freedom, Satire 4 Comments

I think it’s time they changed the name of this thing to the Eurohallucination Song Contest.

The Eurovision Song Contest, which played to a TV audience of more than 120 million Saturday, was won by bearded Austrian drag queen Conchita Wurst.

Wurst said: “This night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom. You know who you are — we are unity and we are unstoppable.”

“Diese Nacht widme ich allen, die an Frieden und Freiheit glauben. Wir sind eine Einheit”, schluchzte Wurst.

This Detergent Will Get Your Clothes Whiter Than White

May 9, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Advertising, Ariel, Detergent, German, Germans, Germany, Hitler, Humor, Nazis, Neo-Nazis, Satire Leave a comment

A detergent just got pulled in Germany over a neo-Nazi code? Uh, OK.

The use of Nazi slogans in public is banned in Germany, which neo-Nazis often try to circumvent by using codes. They use “88” to represent the phrase “Heil Hitler,” because “H” is the eighth letter of the alphabet. Similarly, “18” is used to stand for “A.H.” or Adolf Hitler.

Wow or something. I’ll wait until they come out with a product labeled “23-7-1-19” before I start getting all excited. That’s code for “W.G.A.S” or “Who gives a shit?”

“Für ein reines Deutschland.”

German Of The Day: Putin-Versteher

May 8, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Left Part, Political Left, Putin, SPD, Ukraine 1 Comment

That means Putin-Understander.

The battle of opinion regarding Ukraine has introduced a few new words to the main stream of the German language, and a few that had been leading a niche existence up until then. The best known one is Putin-Understander.

Most Russlandversteher (Russia-Understander) are, like Mr Schmidt and Mr Schröder, on the political left. The Social Democrats believe they have learnt from Ostpolitik, the eastern policy begun by Chancellor Willy Brandt in the 1970s, that when it comes to Russia rapprochement works and confrontation does not. The Left, a party that largely descends from former East German communists, goes further, channelling well-honed anti-American and Russophile instincts and seeing the Ukraine crisis as a natural Russian response to NATO’s expansionism. A Left leader, Katja Kipping, draws in American snooping, attacking Germany’s refusal to interview Edward Snowden, a whistle-blowing ex-contractor for the NSA hiding in Russia. She has called Chancellor Angela Merkel “the USA’s poodle.”

Der Meinungskampf um die Ukraine hat der deutschen Sprache auch ein paar neue Wörter beschert oder solche, die vorher ein ausgesprochenes Nischendasein führten, in den Hauptstrom der Sprache geschwemmt. Das bekannteste Beispiel ist der Putin-Versteher.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hysteria