Paris?

Germany can’t even reach the climate targets it has set for itself (see objective media coverage below).

Earth

A thirty-three page report has just confirmed what most German global climate saviors already knew: There is no way in hell that the more than ambitious climate target set by the federal government some ten years back will ever be reached. Emissions were to drop 40 percent the year 2020. They haven’t quite dropped 28 percent yet. The main problem – now get this – being German cars. Like, duh. Ever hear of Volkswagen & Co.?

Ein wesentliches Problem: Der Verkehrsbereich hat seine Emissionen kaum reduziert. So notwendig ein allgemeines Umsteuern beim Autoverkehr ist, so unpopulär sind die Maßnahmen im Einzelnen.

“We in Germany, in Europe and the world will band together to take more decisive action than ever to confront and successfully surmount major challenges to humanity such as climate change.”

Condescension 2.0

None of this started with Donald Trump, you know. Just in case you were wondering.

Germany

Meet the new German problem. Same as the old German problem.

Why, then, do confident Germans increasingly dislike the United States?

It is complicated.

Since 1989, Germany has worked hard on its post-unification image as a largely pacifistic country. It is eager to teach other nations how to conduct themselves peacefully and to pursue shared global goals such as reducing global warming or opening national borders to the world’s refugees.

Implicit in Germany’s utopian message is that postmodern Germans know best what not to do — given their terrible 20th-century past, with the aggressions of imperial Germany and later the savagery and Holocaust perpetuated by Hitler’s Third Reich.

Yet being guilt-ridden does not equate to being humble (never a German strong suit)…

German Of The Day: Schaumschläger

That means “foam basher.” And that means somebody who makes a lot of noise but doesn’t deliver, a hot-air artist. Hmm. There sure is a whole lot of foam in that beer mug she’s holding down there, don’t you think?

Foam

“The times when we could fully rely on others are to some extent over — I experienced that in the last few days,” Merkel told her supporters, according to Bloomberg. “We Europeans must really take our destiny into our own hands.”

That’s the moment when she took that foamy beer mug into her own hands, I guess. Or maybe somebody had just handed it to her after it had finally reached the end of this pipeline.

Breath deeply, everyone. It’s election season in Germany. And if you can’t pick up a few votes by bashing Donald Trump over here then you can’t poor foam out of a boot.

Die Kanzlerin brachte den Frust des G7-Gipfels vom Wochenende mit, die Parteivorsitzende das Wissen darum, dass Kritik an den USA und vor allem an Trump bei Wählerinnen und Wählern in Deutschland bestens ankommt. Der Hauptgegner im Wahlkampf, die Sozialdemokraten, spielen diese Karte schon länger. Und beide haben Europa wieder entdeckt.

The Lying Press?

No. But the biased press? In Germany, when it comes to Donald Trump?

Trump

I’d have to say yes to that one. After taking a look at this recent study done at Harvard, that is – Harvard, that infamous hotbed for right-wing extremism.

When it comes to reporting about Donald Trump’s fitness for office by Germany’s ARD (Channel One),  for example, 98 percent of this reporting is negative. Now that’s what I’d call objective journalism, folks. 98 percent of people in the real world can’t agree on anything, as we all well know, but things are different here in Germany (and in North Korea, too). The ARD, by the way, is one of the state-run “public” television channels that anyone who lives here is forced to subsidize, whether he or she watches it or not – whether you even own a television or not. Do any of you out there remember Der Schwarze Kanal? I didn’t think so.

98 percent? That only shows us that there is something 100 percent wrong with the ARD.

Only 3 percent of Trump’s U.S. coverage explicitly explored the issue of Trump’s fitness for office. European journalists were less restrained with the exception of BBC journalists, who are governed by impartiality rules that prohibit such reporting.[21] Journalists at ARD, Germany’s main public broadcasting outlet, are not governed by the same rules, and Trump’s suitability for the presidency was ARD’s leading topic in January, accounting for a full fifth (20 percent) of its Trump coverage. ARD stayed on the issue in its February coverage, when it consumed 18 percent of its Trump coverage. In March and April, Trump’s fitness for office got less attention from ARD, but it nonetheless accounted for about 10 percent of ARD’s coverage. Even that reduced amount exceeded the level of any of our seven U.S. outlets in any month. And ARD’s journalists were unequivocal in their judgment—98 percent of their evaluations of Trump’s fitness for office were negative, only 2 percent were positive.

German Of The Day: Schlecht

That means bad. Or böse. That means worse. You know, like in “bad, very bad.”

Trump

President Donald Trump has reportedly reignited tensions with his EU counterparts after calling the Germans “very bad” for their trade surplus with the U.S. The president vowed to block German car exports to the U.S. during a meeting with top EU leaders on Thursday, according to German news magazine Der Spiegel.

I don’t know, folks. Whether this is true or not, I have a very böse feeling about all of this. Not.

“The Germans are bad, very bad. Look at the millions of cars they’re selling in the U.S. We will stop that.”

But Germany Would Defend Its NATO Allies If US-Amerika Attacked

This just in: Majority of Germans wouldn’t support defending NATO allies in Russia conflict. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody?

NATO

According to the US think tank, which interviewed people in European countries, the US and Canada, “NATO’s image is improving on both sides of the Atlantic.” The Alliance enjoys high approval ratings in Poland and the Netherlands (both on 79%). Germany ranks third in the list on 67%, followed by Canada (66%), the US and United Kingdom (both 62%), France (60%) and Spain (45%)…

The results showed that Germany would support military intervention by NATO less than any other country. Only 40% of respondents would back military support for a partner in “serious military conflict” with Russia.

Auch in Deutschland stehen die meisten Befragten hinter der Allianz – bei einem Konflikt mit Russland würde jedoch nur eine Minderheit ein Partnerland verteidigen.

Suspicious Object Found At SPD Headquarters

And it wasn’t the Schulz effect, either.

Stegner

German police gave an all-clear on Monday at the headquarters of the Social Democratic Party (SPD) in Berlin after it was evacuated due to a suspicious object found in the mail room.

The object, being the face and attached body of SPD federal chairman and state chairman of Schleswig-Holstein Ralf Stegner (aka “the face of defeat”), was found loitering around the mail room, mumbling incoherently (even though there were no microphones in sight), apparently having been looking for fan mail. For hours and hours and hours on end, I assume.

“There was nothing found on Stegner that could have been termed dangerous,” a police spokesman later said as his colleagues led Stegner back outside to put him on a FlixBus to Kiel. “Other than that face, I mean.”

German Of The Day: Vortex

That means vortex. And Germans are terrified by vortexes, you know.

Vortex

But they shouldn’t be terrified by that one. According to this article, few Germans even expect President Trump to finish his four-year term in the White House anyway. So like sit back and relax already. And let the vortex be with you.

Less than 25 percent of Germans think US President Donald Trump will complete his four-year term in office, according to a public opinion poll released Saturday. More than two-thirds of those surveyed said categorically that they believe Trump will be out of office before his term expires in January 2021. The survey was conducted by Civey, an opinion research group, for the daily newspaper Die Welt.

German Of The Day: Handkreissäge

That means skill saw or portable circular saw.

Saw

And you really need to have a lot of skill when you operate one of those things. Or you ought to. It’s hard to say whether this lady knew what she was doing when she was operating hers, though.

A court in southern Germany has convicted a 32-year-old woman of killing her boyfriend and severing his head with a circular saw. Prosecutors said she attacked her boyfriend while he was tied to a bed and blindfolded with blacked-out swim goggles, then decapitated him, probably after he died from wounds to the upper body.

My bet is she never saw sex like that before.

City Of Berlin Files Criminal Complaint Against City of Berlin’s Police Department

Just another example of how Berlin works. Or doesn’t work, I should say.

Amri

German authorities are investigating explosive new allegations of a police cover-up over Anis Amri, the Berlin Christmas market attacker. The Berlin regional government has filed criminal charges against two of its own police officers alleging they falsified documents to cover up a missed opportunity to arrest Amri more than a month before the attack.

But seeing how absolutely nothing ever works here, there will be some legal technicality or something else along those lines that will screw up these criminal charges. But not to worry. Because seeing how absolutely nothing ever works here, the alleged cover-up will not have properly covered up what they were trying to cover up, either. The truth always raises its ugly little head. Even in Berlin.

“Es gibt keine Garantie, dass er auch in Haft gekommen wäre.”