We Are Also The Two-Thirds Percent

May 11, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Merkel, Migrants, Polls, Refugees, Surveys Leave a comment

OK, two-thirds isn’t a percent per se, but still.

Germans don’t want Angela Merkel to run for a fourth term, it seems. They just want her to run.

A poll published on Tuesday shows that just under two-thirds of Germans do not want Chancellor Angela Merkel to run for office again in elections next year.

The poll conducted by INSA for Cicero magazine asked people if they thought Merkel should run for a fourth term and 64 percent responded that she should not.

Other polling figures show that if an election were held now, Germany’s two main political parties would barely scrape together 50 percent of the vote between them.

“Wenn die Flüchtlingsthematik in die aus Merkels Sicht richtigen Bahnen gelenkt und aus der öffentlichen Aufmerksamkeit verschwunden ist, wäre ihre letzte große Aufgabe erfüllt.”

We Are The One Percent

May 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Armies, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Military Spending, NATO 1 Comment

Whereas in 1990 there were 585,000 soldiers in the German army, this number has now dropped to 177,000. The military budget, meanwhile, currently stands at a little over 1 percent of GDP.

That’s GDP for Got no Dinero, Partner.

But now Germany is going to change all of that or something and like totally increase its military spending by, I dunno, way lots. Or at least that is how we are supposed to see it. Flinten-Uschi (Ursula von der Leyen) has taken control and isn’t going to take it anymore – and is also shooting for a raise and a new job at the Chancellery one day, by the way.

Nonetheless, the new commitment still keeps Germany way below its NATO commitment to invest two percent of GDP in its military. For that it would have needed to raise the budget to €60 billion instead of €39.2 billion

Ständig kommen neue Auslandseinsätze auf die Bundeswehr zu, aber ihre Ausrüstung ist veraltet oder technisch anfällig. Die Aufstockung der Truppe löst die Probleme nicht.

German Of The Day: Mittelschicht

May 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Middle Class Leave a comment

That means middle class.

And here you thought that your middle class was shrinking. And it is, of course. But the German middle class is shrinking, too. And “it’s shrinking as quickly as the middle class in the U.S.” It’s down to 54 percent of the population, from 60 percent 20 years ago.

Der Anteil der Mittelschicht an der Bevölkerung ist in Deutschland in den vergangenen Jahrzehnten auf zuletzt 54 Prozent geschrumpft. Rund 20 Jahre zuvor lag er noch bei 60 Prozent. Vergleicht man die Entwicklung von 1991 bis 2013, schrumpfte die Mittelschicht in Deutschland genauso stark wie in den USA.

German Of The Day: Bollerwagen

May 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Ascension Day, Beer, Booze, Father's Day, German, Germans, Germany, Holidays, Humor, Language, Tradition 2 Comments

That means handcarts. Handcarts filled with beer.

And if a handcart isn’t available on German Father’s Day (Ascension Day) then you can always use a baby buggy or a shopping cart to put your booze in.

Es ist kompliziert. Warum aus Christi Himmelfahrt auch der Vater- und Herrentag geworden ist, lässt sich nicht mehr so recht nachvollziehen. Es wird spekuliert, dass die Prozession der Jünger Jesu zu einem Berg als Vorbild für die Männer mit Bollerwagen dienten.

Many Germans Feeling Ill Already

May 4, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Health, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Dope, German, Germans, Germany, Grass, Law, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Medicine, Pot, Puns 1 Comment

Germany will legalise medical cannabis in early 2017.

Now the government just has to figure out how to grow the stuff – The ultimate goal of German health authorities is to grow medical marijuana on German soil at specially approved sites.

It is a high art, after all. And knowing how our half-baked buds in government regularly blow things sky high, the whole thing might just end up going to pot. I bet you it’s going to toke them forever to sucseed, in other words.

Um die Versorgung mit Cannabis in kontrollierter Qualität sicherzustellen, will die Regierung den Anbau der Droge zu medizinischen Zwecken unter staatlicher Kontrolle ermöglichen. Über den Anbau wacht das Bundesinstitut für Arzneimittel und Medizinprodukte.

Secret European Army Being Planned By The Same Folks Who Brought Us The Euro And Refugee Crises

May 3, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Armies, Berlin, Brexit, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Military, Refugees 4 Comments

So like what force in the universe could possibly stand in its way? Or even want to. Honey, where’s our white flag?

British Brexit campaigners have been boosted with news from Berlin that Germany is once more pushing for an EU army encompassing all 28 member states with a joint HQ and shared military planning.

Along with judicial, tax and immigration issues, a Euro army has for long been one of the main irritants of anti-EU campaigners.

“German security policy has relevance — also for beyond our country. Germany is willing to join early, decisively and substantially as a driving force in international debates … to take responsibility and assume leadership.”

Temporary Border Controls To Be Temporarily Extended Until Next Temporary Border Control Extension

May 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Austria, Borders, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Mitrants, Refugees Leave a comment

Finally “getting it” at long last, Germany will now ask the European Commission to allow it to extend the temporary border controls it too has imposed in the Schengen zone beyond mid-May, “provided we are able to say that the European Commission said we could do this just in case anybody asks,” an unnamed German official said on Saturday.

Germany took in more than one million migrants last year. But the number of arrivals has slowed significantly after border clampdowns were imposed by Austria and other countries along the migrants’ main Balkans route northwards from Greece.

“Even if the refugee situation has eased at internal borders along the West Balkan route, we look with concern at the developments on the external borders of the Union.”

Free Choice, More Convenience, Lower Prices?

April 29, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Airbnb, Bans, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Government Regulation, Interventionism, Regulation, Rent, Vacation Rentals Leave a comment

Not in our city, buddy. I mean Airbnb buddy. Not if we from the we’re-from-the-government-and-we’re-here-to-help faction can do anything about it.

We like things regulated here in Berlin. You know, we like things managed, micro-managed, even nano-managed or nanny-managed, if you prefer. What else do we have this oppressive Bevormundungsstaat (paternalistic state) for?

Looking to rent an apartment on your next vacation to Berlin? Starting Sunday, you can basically forget about it. From May 1, Germany’s capital is banning landlords from renting out apartments to short-term visitors, with only a few exceptions permitted.

The penalty for breaking the law is a substantial €100,000 ($113,000) fine — levied on people renting their homes, never on the guests themselves. There will still be some loopholes that allow a few vacation apartments to persist, but it seems that, in Berlin at least, the astronomical rise of Airbnb and other short-stay rental sites is effectively over.

Das Wohnungsangebot in Berlin bei Airbnb ist kleiner geworden. Mehr als 4000 Objekte wurden laut einem Medienbericht gestrichen. Offizielle Begründung: Sie böten “kein authentisches Reiseerlebnis”.

German Rents Keep Rising

April 28, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Animals, Bees, Chickens, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Rabbits Leave a comment

You have to shell out $85 a week at Rent-a-Huhn just for five lousy chickens, for instance.

Bee-Rent will set you back nearly $200 a month for your bee box. And I wouldn’t even want to tell you what renting out a rabbit companion for your rabbit costs. Not even if I knew, I mean.

Farm living is the life for me (not).

“The hens are very relaxed when I pick them up again – and so are the customers, who are often sad to see their feathery friends leave.”

Germany To Receive Electroshock Therapy

April 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Automobiles, Electric Cars, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Subsidies Leave a comment

In another electrifying example of tax dollar waste (or in this case tax euro waste), Angela Merkel’s government has just made a deal with automakers to spend some 1.2 billion euros on incentives to boost sluggish electric car sales in Germany.

“The goal is to move forward as quickly as possible on electric vehicles,” one high-ranking government official said while attaching the electrodes to the German nation’s sweaty forehead. “With this, we are giving an impetus.”

And if that first shock doesn’t work, who cares? This is renewable energy they’re using here, folks.

Just over 30,000 electric vehicles, which are more expensive than conventional models, have been sold in Germany. That’s a tiny fraction of the more than 3 million cars bought each year in a country which has historically leaned on diesel technology to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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