Migrants To Crash The Oktoberfest ITSELF?

September 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Beer, Dirndl, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Lederhosen, Migrants, Munich, Oktoberfest, Refugees, Syria 3 Comments

Of all fests? Is nothing heilig anymore? Some folks are already referring to number 182 as the Krisen-Wiesn (crisis Oktoberfest). In your neighborhood tomorrow. If you live in Munich, I mean.

On Munich’s main shopping street on Tuesday, women in abayas—the long robes worn by some Muslim women—were studying lederhosen and dirndls—the revealing shorts and dresses traditional in Bavaria—in the shop windows.

“Asylum seekers in particular from Muslim countries aren’t used to encountering heavily drunk people in public. It could get out of hand.”

What To Do When You Get Your Next German Panic Attack

September 17, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Angst, Anxiety, Disease Mongering, Dyspnea, German, Germans, Germany, High Anxiety, Hypochondria, Panic Attacks, Tachycardia, Tinnitracks, Tinnitus 1 Comment

First of all: Don’t panic.

Then stick your fingers in your ears because you’re probably about to develop an acute case of tinnitus. Because of all off that repressed panic or something.

But don’t panic about that, either. I SAID BUT DON’T PANIC ABOUT THAT, EITHER!

Panikattacken: Einfache Ratschläge gegen Atemnot, Schwitzen und Herzrasen

It Was Fifty Years Ago Today

September 16, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Concerts, Die Waldbühne, German, Germans, Germany, The 1960s, The Rolling Stones 3 Comments

Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play. No, wait. That was the Rolling Stones. And they were destroying Berlin’s Waldbühne.

After World War II, the Olympic grounds were within the British occupation sector of Berlin. They were released for public use beginning in 1948, and the amphitheater was used for film showings, including for the Berlinale, and beginning in 1960 for boxing matches. Use for concerts began in the 1960s, but when the Rolling Stones performed there on 15 September 1965, the theater was severely damaged. Fans stormed the stage, and after the band left after a set of only 20 to 25 minutes, fought police, who attempted to control them with rubber truncheons and fire hoses, and destroyed the seating, fire hydrants and other furnishings. 270,000 DM in damage was done, in a riot that fulfilled the dire prophecies of some Berlin newspapers about rock concerts and was the first inter-generational battle of the 1960s in Germany. A reporter from Bild wrote of the concert, “I know Hell.” The arena had to be completely renovated and was then little used until 1978.

Germany’s Anti-Social Network

September 15, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Facebook, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Refugees, Social Networks, Xenophobia Leave a comment

Facebook should do more to crack down on German hate speech and xenophobia about refugees online? Sure, why not? But maybe Germans should do more to crack down on the Germans doing the hating, too. Just a thought.

Germany expects to see a record number of asylum seekers this year, most from war-torn countries like Syria and Afghanistan. The country expects to see 800,000 refugees through this year, and has pledged to accept more than any other European government, though its response has stoked some xenophobic riots. Last month, Germany’s ministry of justice criticized Facebook for not doing more to police hate speech, alleging that the social network reacts faster to remove sexual imagery than it does racist messages. German Justice Minister Heiko Maas announced the creation of the online task force after meeting with Facebook in Berlin on Monday.

Are We Having An Ugly American Border Wall Yet?

September 14, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Borders, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees, The Schengen Zone 4 Comments

Sooner or later reality gets up in your face.

Germany has introduced temporary controls on its border with Austria to cope with the influx of migrants, the interior minister has said.

Politically this is a shrewd move by Thomas de Maiziere. His announcement comes just a day before he travels to Brussels to meet other EU interior ministers to discuss the migrant crisis. The measure will help him put pressure on other European countries to do their bit. It highlights just how much Germany is struggling to cope.

The move could also serve as a useful threat; after all, Mr de Maiziere said Germany was controlling the border with Austria “first”, the implication being more could follow. The possibility that Germany might suddenly decide to control its other borders could well help jolt EU partners into action.

But I Didn’t Inhale

September 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Health, Helections, Hideology, High Art, Humor Tags: Anton Hofreiter, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Legalization, Legislation, Marijuana, Pot 1 Comment

Now this one here knocked my socks CLEAN off. Finally, some real news.

German GREEN whip Anton Hofreiter from the GREEN party has revealed in a shocking interview about his new GREEN Book entitled “Toking and Criminality” that yes, he, too, he HIM-GREEN-SELF actually smoked GREEN pot in his youth. He didn’t do it all that often, though. And it goes without saying that he didn’t inhale. And that was way back when in his youth, like he says. When he was young and stuff.

His drugs today are wine and beer. Damn. He reminds me of me.

“Ja, ich habe in meiner Jugend gekifft.”

The Donald’s 15 Minutes Threatening US-Amerika’s Once Proud Democracy

September 11, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: American Dream, Anti-Americanism, Der Spiegel, Donald Trump, Doom, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Gloom, Journalism, The Rich 10 Comments

Here’s this here way sophisticated high-brow Spiegel article in a nutshell like.

The American Dream is broken (again).

The super-rich are the only people who have profited from the considerable economic growth in the US in recent decades (the plain old filthy rich were left out in the cold this time, I guess).

The shifts in income that have taken place in recent years are destroying the moral fabric of society (maybe, but it’s a fabric still made in the USA, pal, so deal with it).

Not a single one of the current candidates for president is willing to call for an increase in taxes (this is a very, very Bad Thing for some reason).

The super-wealthy are against anything that might help the bottom 90 percent to rise (that is one heavy bottom, isn’t it?).

America is just an oligarchy with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or to elect the president (quoted form someone who should know: Jimmy Carter).

But is it really any more democratic that a billionaire can buy his own election instead of allowing himself to be bought by others?

Better Late Than Never?

September 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Health, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Helmut Schmidt, Smoking Leave a comment

81 years of smoking down the drain.

After a recent stay in a Hamburg hospital, ex-chancellor Helmut Schmidt has finally decided that 96 is the right age to stop smoking. I’ll miss his politically incorrect smoking on talk shows here (or Talkshows, if you prefer). He went out of his way to annoy everybody with it.

Der 96-Jährige war als notorischer Raucher bekannt – selbst in Talkshows durfte er sich einen Klimmstengel anzünden.

Is Bild Without Bild Still Bild?

September 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humility Tags: Bild, Bildzeitung, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Images, Immigration, Journalism, Migrants, Newspapers, Pictures, Refugees 1 Comment

Germany’s best-selling newspaper has removed all pictures from its print edition and website in response to complaints about its decision to publish images of the three-year-old Syrian refugee who drowned trying to reach Greece.

The decision to remove pictures in print and online comes less than a week after the newspaper dedicated its whole back page to the distressing image of Alan lying face down on the beach in Bodrum, surrounded by a black background and a plea for action from Europe.

Finally: An Imaginary Illness For The Rest Of Us

September 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypochondria Tags: Bore-Out, Boredom, Burn-out, Disease Mongering, German, Germans, Germany, Imaginary Diseases, Retirement, Work 1 Comment

It might not be as severe as bummed-out disorder or as sexy as burn-out syndrome, but bore-out looks like the kind of imaginary disease that might just be right up my alley.

Germans just can’t wait to get it, either. Although they’ll still have to.

Whereas in US-Amerika bore-out might describe a a situation in which an employee’s zest for work has been extinguished by an unchallenging rather than an unmanageable workload, German bore-out has been specially redesigned to affect early retirees and others like them who have spent their entire working lives looking forward to doing just that (retiring early or otherwise) and are now bored to tears.

Sadly, there is no known cure for bore-out. Other than to stop being bored, of course. And to stop being boring while you’re at it.

„Täglich Zeitung lesen.“

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germans