German Word Of The Day: Bluff

May 15, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Crimea, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Godzilla, Humor, Leadership, Putin, Russia, Sanctions, Satire, Ukraine Leave a comment

In German, “Bluff” means to mislead by a display of strength or self-confidence when in fact their is no strength or self-confidence there. To display, I mean.

But there’s one problem with this weapon (real sanctions): It can only be used if all EU members agree. In the EU, sanctions need to be decided unanimously. This worked for levels one and two, because they were primarily symbolic acts that affected people close to Putin and imposed no real burden on the EU. But level three would be different, making it unlikely that the EU would agree on sanctions that would have a strong effect on Russia. Europe’s strongest weapon is actually a bluff.

“Clearly there will be economic sanctions if Putin sabotages the vote, but it’s unclear what would constitute sabotage.”

PS: Personally, I think there is only one person on Earth who could possibly stand up to this Putin person. And he’s not even a person himself

A Sound Panzer?

May 14, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: Art, Audio, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Music, NSA, Sennheiser, Sound, Tanks, Teufelsberg, Videos 1 Comment

What will they tank of next?

The Sound Tank (or “Sound Panzer,” as Nowak refers to it in the video) is a reconfigured mini-dump truck that Nowak was able to transform into a colossal mobile soundsystem. Nowak designed the bass-bumping vehicle’s giant speaker wall with a hydraulic system, enabling him to raise it upright and point the 13 loudspeakers and three 18-inch subwoofers at any target.

Someone fired a gun next to Nowak’s ear as a young child, and as a result the artist lost the ability to hear high frequencies with his right ear. “That experience brought home to me the extent to which sound can shape reality,” Nowak muses in the video.

PS: For those interested in old school NSA stuff, there are some good shots of what is left of the old Teufelsberg facility in the video, too.

Germans Already Lining Up To Be Forgotten By Google

May 13, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Court Rulings, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Google, Humor, Law, Paranoia, Privacy, Satire, Search Engines Leave a comment

Europe’s top court ruling that Google and other Internet companies can now be made to remove “irrelevant or excessive personal information” from search engine results has triggered a virtual stampede of excited Germans demanding that their irrelevant and excessive personal information be removed from the Internet immediately.

“Irrelevant and excessive personal information is the only kind of information I produce,” said one soon-to-be-forgotten Google skeptic. “Or consist of, if you will. So you can bet that I just can’t wait to be wiped out of virtual existence for good!”

“The ruling will help certain people hide their past, making it difficult to access certain information, but not when it concerns public figures, or people in whom there is a genuine public interest. This will result in added costs for Internet search providers who will have to add to their take-down policies the means for removing links to an individual’s data, and develop criteria for distinguishing public figures from private individuals.”

500 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, 500 Bottles Of Beer…

May 12, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Alcohol, Beer, Drinking, German, Germans, Germany, Health Leave a comment

And here I thought I was bad. And I am.

But Germans drink lots of booze, too. The Suffköppe (guzzlers).

According to a report by the World Health Organization, when it comes to alcohol consumption every German over 15 drinks the equivalent of 500 bottles of beer each year. They didn’t say how much the Germans under 15 drink.

Die Deutschen trinken unverändert viel Alkohol. Nach einem neuen Bericht der Weltgesundheitsorganisation (WHO) konsumierte jeder Deutsche über 15 Jahren im Jahr 2012 im Schnitt 11,8 Liter reinen Alkohol. Das entspricht gut 500 Flaschen Bier und ist ebenso viel wie zwischen 2008 und 2010.

This Detergent Will Get Your Clothes Whiter Than White

May 9, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Advertising, Ariel, Detergent, German, Germans, Germany, Hitler, Humor, Nazis, Neo-Nazis, Satire Leave a comment

A detergent just got pulled in Germany over a neo-Nazi code? Uh, OK.

The use of Nazi slogans in public is banned in Germany, which neo-Nazis often try to circumvent by using codes. They use “88” to represent the phrase “Heil Hitler,” because “H” is the eighth letter of the alphabet. Similarly, “18” is used to stand for “A.H.” or Adolf Hitler.

Wow or something. I’ll wait until they come out with a product labeled “23-7-1-19” before I start getting all excited. That’s code for “W.G.A.S” or “Who gives a shit?”

“Für ein reines Deutschland.”

German Of The Day: Putin-Versteher

May 8, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Left Part, Political Left, Putin, SPD, Ukraine 1 Comment

That means Putin-Understander.

The battle of opinion regarding Ukraine has introduced a few new words to the main stream of the German language, and a few that had been leading a niche existence up until then. The best known one is Putin-Understander.

Most Russlandversteher (Russia-Understander) are, like Mr Schmidt and Mr Schröder, on the political left. The Social Democrats believe they have learnt from Ostpolitik, the eastern policy begun by Chancellor Willy Brandt in the 1970s, that when it comes to Russia rapprochement works and confrontation does not. The Left, a party that largely descends from former East German communists, goes further, channelling well-honed anti-American and Russophile instincts and seeing the Ukraine crisis as a natural Russian response to NATO’s expansionism. A Left leader, Katja Kipping, draws in American snooping, attacking Germany’s refusal to interview Edward Snowden, a whistle-blowing ex-contractor for the NSA hiding in Russia. She has called Chancellor Angela Merkel “the USA’s poodle.”

Der Meinungskampf um die Ukraine hat der deutschen Sprache auch ein paar neue Wörter beschert oder solche, die vorher ein ausgesprochenes Nischendasein führten, in den Hauptstrom der Sprache geschwemmt. Das bekannteste Beispiel ist der Putin-Versteher.

Like, We’re Gonna Like You With A Like-Attack

May 7, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Facebook, German, Germans, Germany, Laut Gegen Nazis, Likes, Nazis, NPD Leave a comment

Whether you like it or not.

So how you like that?

We’re going to infiltrate the NPD with foreign blood!

American Internet Security Expert David Hasselhoff Speaks at Berlin’s re:publica

May 6, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech, High Art, Humor, Hypochondria Tags: Berlin, David Hasselhoff, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Internet Security, re:publica, Satire Leave a comment

And honestly, folks. What would a digital natives summit to tackle surveillance be without him?

He’s been looking for digital freedom or something. And damned if he didn’t find it. Here of all places. Hey, just because you can’t read or carry a note doesn’t mean you can’t keynote.

Der Saal ist gut gefüllt, voll ist er nicht.

That Guy Down There Works For The Telekom

May 5, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Big Brother, Eavesdropping, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Government, Humor, NSA, Satire, Spying, Telekom, Wiretapping Leave a comment

And it looks to me like they’re trying to save on energy these days or something.

Hey, who needs the NSA when you’ve got the Telekom right here at home in your own backyard in Germany? Doing the wiretapping, I mean.

Hello? Hello out there! Where’s all the excitement about this? The Telekom just got a little more transparent and admitted that it taps 50,000 phone connections a year. It hands out information on a million IP addresses annually, too. No, not to the NSA. To certain German “state agencies” that wish to remain unnamed.

Well there is a big difference here, you know. The difference being, of course, that the Telekom “sticks to the rules” and no one here has any reason to doubt them because the Telekom would not lie to us, I mean you, and besides, Germans snooping on Germans in a country like Germany when not following the rules precisely and to the letter is absolutely unimaginable and thoroughly ausgeschlossen (impossible). Here, I mean.

Die Telekom ist verpflichtet, in bestimmten Fällen mit Behörden zusammenzuarbeiten. Wie viele Anfragen es jährlich gibt, erstaunt dann doch. Neben tausenden überwachten Telefonanschlüssen gibt die Telekom Daten zu fast einer Million IP-Adressen preis.

German Spy Etiquiette Initiative Fails For Now

May 4, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, NSA, Obama, Spying 1 Comment

But will most likely be introduced again at a much later date once hell freezes over.

The United States and Germany had been negotiating over mutual rules for intelligence-gathering aimed at each other, but there still appears to be “some gaps that need to be worked through.”

It seems Angie Merkel suddenly had more important things to say than talk about the NSA during her latest stay in the USA. Hey, that rhymes.

“We do not have a blanket no-spy agreement with any country.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germans