Where Have All The Nazis Gone?

February 13, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Action Groups, Bombings, Demonstrations, Dresden, German, Germans, Germany, Nazis, Neo-Nazis, Police Leave a comment

What has become of Germany? You can’t even count on mindless herds of Neo-Nazis anymore.

In Dresden, I mean. For their annual “Bombenholocaust” (bombing of Dresden) get-together. Up to 6500 showed up in recent years but that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. It might have something to do with the two zillion police out on the streets but I’m just guessing here. OK, OK. And the Bürgerinitiativen (citizen’s action groups), too.

Am Donnerstag ist es wieder mal so weit – aber nach Lage der Dinge wird alles anders sein als in den Jahren zuvor.

The Thrill Is Gone

February 12, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Asylum, Edward Snowden, Espionage, EU, German, Germans, Germany, NSA, Surveillance, The Green Shirts, Treason Leave a comment

My how time flies. Especially when it’s only been fifteen minutes.

For the rest of us, I mean. Edward Snowden still has a whole lot more time on his hands.

The European parliament is to ditch demands on Wednesday that EU governments give guarantees of asylum and security to Edward Snowden, the National Security Agency whistleblower.

In Brüssel ist ein Vorstoß von Grünen und Linken gescheitert, dem Whistleblower Schutz in der EU zu gewähren. Der Innenausschuss des EU-Parlaments stimmte gegen den Antrag.

Creepy Corn Coming (And I Don’t Care)

February 11, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: 1507, Bees, Corn, Food, Genetically-Modified Food, German, Germans, Germany, GM Food, Humor, Protest, Satire, Science 3 Comments

Ghastly, genetically modified creepy corn.

Creepy corn without a name. Creepy corn that isn’t even spelled with a capital K. Corn so creepy that it only has a creepy number; the nasty and nightmarish 1507. Corn devised in some creepy laboratory somewhere in the United States of Creepy Amerika.

Insect-resistant, creepy, nameless and K-less corn. Creepy corn that Germans dressed up like bees simply must say Nein! to. Corn that must be stopped at all costs.

Corn declared safe by the European Food Standards Authority. But still.

“Wir erkennen die Vorbehalte des Großteils der Bevölkerung gegenüber der grünen Gentechnik an.”

Energy Turnaround? Nein, Danke!

February 7, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Energy Turnaround, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear power, Renewable energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Not if the SüdLink power lines have to go through my backyard!

Network providers planning one of the country’s most important power-transmission pathways presented a proposal on Wednesday for an 800-kilometer, or 500-mile, corridor of high-voltage lines. The power lines would carry electricity from wind turbines in the blustery north states to power-hungry industries in the south...

But many Germans balk at the idea of high-voltage power lines running through their backyards and the fields around their communities. Last week, angry villagers in Bavaria protested plans by the network operator Amprion to construct a similar high-voltage line through their state. An attempt by the power company TenneT last year to have citizens invest in another planned expansion to the grid in the state of Schleswig-Holstein failed to win substantial support.

And mark my words here folks, the real ugliness hasn’t even begun yet. They’re never going to get this thing built.

“The corridor is not definitive, and we need feedback from citizens and communities to be able to plan this important link.”

NSA Hysteria Good For Business

February 6, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Edward Snowden, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, IT Industry, NSA, Paranoia, Profit, Satire, Security Leave a comment

IT business here in Germany, I mean.

Funny how that is. Makes a body wonder sometimes if helping to keep folks all hot and bothered like this about our latest “devastating crisis of confidence” is maybe sort of, I dunno, intentional or something? You know, as in profitable intentional?

I know, I know. German media and industry have higher standards than that and would never try to take advantage of a situation like this but look, if everybody else out there is going to keep going hysterical and paranoid about this novel issue of ours then I can start speculating, too. Hmmm. Now Snowden isn’t a German name, is it? Eduard certainly is, though.

“Our best marketing employee is Edward Snowden.”

Here’s Another One Of Those “You Must Have Confused Me With Somebody Who Gives A S#?$&”T!”

February 5, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Airports, André Schmitz, Berlin, Corruption, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Humor, Klaus Wowereit, Mismanagement, Politicians, Satire, SPD, Tax evasion Leave a comment

So. Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit knew for quite some time now that his SPD Culture Minister buddy André Schmitz had some funny money hiding in Switzerland (everybody‘s doing it these days) and just pretended that this problem would eventually go away all by itself. Well it didn’t, of course, and Schmitz has now had to resign and the mayor is in deep Scheiße about this right now or something, right?

Well any other politician would be but you clearly don’t understand with whom we’re dealing with here (unless you do understand). This is Klaus Wowereit HIMSELF (some call him Wowi – with that “v” sound, of course). This is the same guy who “did” the Berlin Airport that still hasn’t been done yet and will end up costing eighty-five quadrillion bazillion euros before it ever does get done, if at all.

Do you think there have been any consequences for that? Hardly. If anything, Wowereit got rewarded for his Engagement (commitment) by being put right back on as the “new” chairman of the board of the Berlin Brandenburg Airport Company after the “old” one had proven just how clueless he had been and had been forced to leave (that had been Klaus Wowereit too, of course).

Why is this guy always free from sin? Beats the hell out of me. There’s teflon, dann kommt eine ganze Weile gar nichts (then you can go on for a long, long while – way past normal teflon), and then there’s Klaus Wowereit teflon. He’s on his ski vacation right now and simply couldn’t be bothered by any of this. And he’s laughing his ass off all the way down the slopes I bet. Damn. Nice job if you can get it.

Kann ein Kinderschänder ein guter Bildungsminister sein?

Good Point

February 4, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Armies, Demolition, Explosions, Foreign Policy, Frankfurt, German, Germans, Germany, Military, Munich Security Conference, Pacifism, Responsiblity Leave a comment

“While there are genuine pacifists in Germany,” as German President Joachim Gauck recently noted at the Munich Security Conference, “there are also people who use Germany’s guilt for its past as a shield for laziness or a desire to disengage from the world.”

Very true. But believe you me, if he or anybody else out there seriously thinks for one cotton-pickin’ minute that Germans are suddenly going to seriously consider “a more muscular foreign policy” (use their army for what armies are actually intended to be used for) just because of any good points he or anybody else out there might make, he and that anybody else out there should be tested for doping. Ain’t NEVER gonna happen here.

Es darf nichts kosten (it can’t cost anything).

“Germany is really too big to just comment from the sidelines.” Duh. So? How does that saying go again? Germany is too big for Europe and too small for the world.

PS: Germans are still really good at blowing up stuff, though.

Germans Not Corrupt

February 3, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Alice Schwarzer, Bribery, Corruption, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politicians, Satire, Sleaze 1 Comment

Just kind of sleazy.

Corruption across the European Union’s 28 countries costs about 120 billion euros ($162 billion) per year — a “breathtaking” sum equal to the EU’s entire annual budget, EU Home Affairs Commissioner Cecilia Malmstroem said Monday.

But Germany gets top marks from the commission: “When it comes to fighting corruption, Germany is amongst the best countries of the EU.” But the country could benefit from introducing “strict penalties” on corrupt elected officials and “develop a policy” to limit the ability of government officials to go work for companies they previously were in a position to help.

Saudi A. (Yet Again)

February 3, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms Sales, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Pacifism, Profit, Saudi Arabia Leave a comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Despite it’s often pacifist positions on global security issues, Germany is also in the seemingly contradictory position of being one of the world’s largest arms exporters.

PS: At least none of those creepy postcards are involved here.

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

February 2, 2014 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Early Retirement, Employment, Free Lunch, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Polls, Retirement, Satire, Scams, SPD 2 Comments

Ein Frührentner (an early retiree). Please laugh, but please also be assured that I personally know a German teenager who actually answered this question this way and was NOT joking.

And this really shouldn’t come as a surprise in a country where, according to the latest poll, 53 percent of the employed don’t plan to work past the age of 63 and barely one third of them expect to work until the “official” reitrement age of 65. Or is it 67 now? Wait, or is it 63 doch (after all)?

At any rate, whatever the official German retirement age may be, rest assured that it will not be the age at which the majority of Germans will be retiring.

Ein knappes Drittel will dagegen bis zum regulären Renteneintrittsalter weiterarbeiten.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Germans