Category Archives: Helplessness

Germans Shut Down Simpsons Too

March 29, 2011 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just in case. For three months or so, I assume.

After the government shut down seven nuclear reactors for fear of, uh, fear itself, German broadcasters have now decided to ban episodes of The Simpsons that poke fun at nuclear disasters.

It seems that now that the Greens have exploited “the situation” (no, not that guy on Jersey Shore) and leapt to power in two state governments after elections held over the weekend, said broadcasters fear that hysterical Germans watching these episodes could die of hysterical laughter.

Chancellor Angela Merkel announced earlier this month a three-month moratorium on plans to extend the operating times of Germany’s nuclear plants and ordered that the seven oldest reactors be shut down.

More German Solidarity Soldifiying As We Speak

March 23, 2011 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

You’ve got to hand it to them. The Germans are consistent, at least.

Germany has withdrawn its four vessels from NATO operations in the Mediterranean because NATO has finally announced that it will support the no-fly zone over Libya by monitoring sea traffic in the region, this to include intercepting any vessels suspected of carrying illegal arms or mercenaries to that country.

Normally Feuer und Flamme (full of enthusiasm) for things like arms embargos (if German arms aren’t involved), the Germans don’t like this particular one because, well, they would actually be involved in it. And worse still, this mission permits the use of force if necessary, something the German navy could never ever bring itself to do, ever. Never. So they’ll pass again, thank you.

Mr Rasmussen at NATO: “All allies are committed to meet their responsibilities under the United Nations resolution to stop the intolerable violence against Libyan civilians.”

A Permanent Security Council Seat For Germany?

March 22, 2011 By in Helections, Helplessness, History Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Let’s vote.

“Germany has lost its credibility in the United Nations and in the Middle East.”

“Germany has turned the idea of a unified European Union foreign policy into a farce.”

“Germany’s hopes for a permanent Security Council seat can be buried. Even the idea of an EU seat is damaged.”

“I don’t know what the German foreign minister was thinking, but (the abstention) doesn’t have much in common with a values-driven foreign policy nor with German and European Union interests.”

“German hopes for a permanent seat on the Security Council have been permanently dashed and one is now fearful of Europe’s future.”

“Why is it so difficult for us in Germany to realize that we have to help the rebels in Libya, primarily because a bloodbath is looming in Benghazi?”

“Everyone has seen pictures of the Warsaw ghetto. Everyone knows what happens when an army takes over a city. That’s why all parties in France, including on the left, were in favor of a military intervention in Libya. In Germany, that didn’t happen.”

“The opposition to our closest partner France is a break with all constants of German foreign policy since 1949.”

“I have nothing but shame for the failure of our government.”

“The reform of the United Nations Security Council remains a major goal for the German government. The German government’s willingness to shoulder more responsibility within the framework of such reform is unchanged.”

Do The Duck!

March 20, 2011 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

You know, the German Duck Responsibility Dance?

It goes like this: Over 60 percent of Germans asked think that the military intervention in Libya is a good thing. Over 65 percent of the same Germans asked think it’s even better that Germans are shirking their responsibility there.

It can be lonely living on the moral highground sometimes I guess, but who says you can’t have your Kuchen and eat it too?

Deutschland hatte sich bei der Abstimmung im UN-Sicherheitsrat enthalten und schließt einen Einsatz von Bundeswehrsoldaten aus.

Thanks once again, Germany!

March 18, 2011 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , 4 Comments

We couldn’t have done it without you. But we did anyway.

“The Obama administration and America’s allies have won an open-ended endorsement from the United Nations for military action in Libya.”

“The administration deserves credit for getting this resolution passed with such strong support,” said a joint statement from Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., John McCain, R-Ariz., and Joe Lieberman, I-Conn.

Five nations abstained from the vote, one of them being America’s ally you-know-wer (who).

Bei der Abstimmung enthielten sich die Vetomächte Russland, China sowie Indien, Brasilien und auch Deutschland (way down on the bottom of the article).

Recent Tough Talk Less Tougher Now

March 17, 2011 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As expected, Germany has rejected the idea of a no-fly zone over Libya on the grounds that someone (from Germany) might get hurt.

Using standard German anti-non-German-war reasoning, the creation of a no-fly zone would amount to a possible so-called military action which could actually involve so-called attacks against Libyan recent-old-buddy-now-despotic-leader Muammar Gaddafi’s anti-aircraft defenses.

This would be bad enough, for some reason, but worse still would be that these attacks, if unsuccessful, could open the way to an intervention on the ground which Germany would never, ever, ever be a part of anyway, as we all know, so why not just say no to the whole thing right now and get it over with?

French Foreign Minister Alain Juppe said on Wednesday that “only the threat of force can stop Gaddafi”. He said that several Arab states were ready to assist Western military intervention.

Germany Upset That US-Amerika Is Now Too Much Like Germany

March 9, 2011 By in Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Normally outraged at the very thought of American Alleingänge (solo runs), concerned Spiegel journalists and countless German Gutmenschen (starry-eyed idealist types) everywhere are clearly upset that President Obama is now backpedaling as fast as he can at the very thought of leading the way to establish a no-fly zone in Libya.

Gaddafi is not rolling over and dying as quickly as expected and this is turning into yet another embarassment for Germany and the rest of the EU because if this keeps up, sooner or later these countries may be forced to actually “do something” themselves and this, as we all know, is not something that they are prepared to do.

Hey, Germany. He’s your President. Too, I mean.

Obama schreckt vor Libyen-Alleingang zurück.

Surprise Terrorist Attack Shuts Down German Bundestag But Nobody Seems To Care All That Much Really

March 8, 2011 By in Helplessness, Hi-tech Tags: , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

Islamic terrorists disquised as construction crew workers for the Vattenfall power company plunged Berlin’s Bundestag into near total darkness and cluelessness (even more cluelessness than usual) after launching a successful surpise attack upon a power cable three meters below the earth at 09:00 this morning somewhere the-hell-if-I-know-where in Berlin Mitte.

Computers are down, toilets are out, Germany is tumbling leaderless through space and nobody anywhere around here gives a shit.

As one Bundestag representative reported: “We are unable to work.” “Yeah,” his neighbor replied. “And now the damned power is out too.”

The Vattenfall terrorists, realizing that their mission to put Germany in a panic has utterly failed, now say that they will have the power back up again around four this afternoon. Or manjana maybe. Mal sehen (see what happens).

“Wir sind arbeitsunfähig.”

Islam Had Nothing To Do With This

March 4, 2011 By in Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Damn. They haven’t even cleaned up the crime scene yet, I bet, and it’s apology-ahead-of-time time again already.

You’re familiar with the process: Make sure not to offend anybody after you’ve been attacked. Apologize in advance for any crazy connection that crazy people anywhere and everywhere might want to try to make between Islam and Islamic terrorists. There is no such connection. How could there be? Religion has nothing at all to do with attacks like these. And that’s the law (the Islamic one, I think).

And besides, these weren’t Germans who got shot. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading commentaries like these while the gun is still smoking (should Germans ever get attacked here and commentaries like these do immediately appear, please correct me).

“It would obviously be wrong to blame Islam as a religion for this act. Many Muslims around the world distance themselves from violence and terror…”

Es wäre selbstverständlich falsch, diese Tat dem Islam als Religion zur Last zu legen. Weltweit distanzieren sich viele Muslime von Gewalt und Terror. Die friedlichen Revolutionen in Ägypten und Tunesien belegen, dass sich auch die muslimischen Völker nach Freiheit und Demokratie sehnen. Ihre grandiosen Siege waren die schwerste Niederlage für den Terror. Gewaltbereite Islamisten sind nur eine kleine, aber für Deutschland überaus gefährliche Gruppe. Die Behörden müssen alles tun, um diese Gruppe zu überwachen und zu entschärfen.

No Scheiße Sherlock

March 3, 2011 By in Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

“Whether the incident was linked to terrorism, I cannot say at this stage,” a spokesman for Hesse state has told reporters. How could he say? That kind of stuff just doesn’t happen in Germany, even when it does happen (it was the last news item to be reported on last night on ARD).

We don’t want to jump to conclusions, heaven forbid. Germany always has everything under control, as we all know, “incidents” like these included. But when a Kosovar Albanian and devout Muslim suddenly opens fire on a military bus full of American Air Force personnel at Frankfurt Airport, killing two and wounding two others, a possible link to terrorism might maybe ought to be taken into consideration, perhaps.

All I can say is it’s a good thing that Germany has such strict gun control laws (especially at airports). Otherwise this “incident” would have surely been much worse.

Ausgerüstet mit einer Pistole und einer beachtlichen Menge Munition, machte sich der 21-jährige Deutsch-Kosovare am Mittwochmorgen auf den Weg zur Arbeit am Flughafen Frankfurt am Main.