German Of The Day: Auftragsmord

That means a contract killing.

Auftragsmord

Germany Says Russian Officials Ordered Berlin Park Killing – Germany’s top prosecutor said Russian officials ordered the killing of a political opponent in a Berlin city park last summer, escalating tensions between the two countries.

“State entities within the central government of the Russian Federation gave the order to the accused to liquidate.”

German Of The Day: Säumig

That means delinquent.

Trump

You know, as in Donald Trump accusing Germany of being “delinquent” in its payments to Nato, and saying he would stick with the plan unless Berlin changed its course? The truth hurts, Germany. “Why does Germany pay billions to Russia for energy and then we’re supposed to protect Germany from Russia? How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t.”

Trump confirms plan to cut troops in Germany – US President Donald Trump has confirmed plans to withdraw 9,500 American troops from bases in Germany. 

„Warum zahlt Deutschland Russland Milliarden Dollar für Energie, und dann sollen wir Deutschland vor Russland schützen? Wie soll das funktionieren? Es funktioniert nicht.“

What’s An Increase Of 42% Among Friends?

Somebody just slammed Germany in the face with a brick. I mean a Brexit.

EU

Germany to contribute 42% more to EU budget: report – The European Commission would like to see €13 billion more per year from Europe’s largest economy. EU leaders, including Angela Merkel, are meeting Friday to discuss the bloc’s future budget.

Germany currently contributes an average of €31 billion a year to the EU budget. The proposal for the new budget would raise that contribution to €44 billion — an increase of 42%.

If You’re Going To Pull Down Statues

You might as well pull down Fawlty Towers while you’re at it.

Fawlty

Nobody gets this. But nobody gets what’s going on anywhere else these days so, whatever.

An episode of sitcom Fawlty Towers has been taken off UKTV’s streaming service because it contains “racial slurs”.

The BBC-owned platform said it had made The Germans unavailable while it carries out a review.

In the 1975 episode, Basil Fawlty declares “don’t mention the war” around German guests, while the Major uses highly offensive language about the West Indies cricket team.

“One of the things I’ve learned in the last 180 years is that people have very different senses of humour.”

And Way Down On Page Seven…

‘Europe Made Mistakes Too’ – Former WHO Head Criticizes Slow Coronavirus Response

WHO

In an interview, Gro Harlem Brundtland, the former head of the World Health Organization, is critical of China’s early management of the outbreak of the coronavirus. She also says that the Europeans were too cavalier in their initial response and warns that the next epidemic could be much worse.

There are reasons to criticize China. Those responsible there were too slow. They informed too late. Worst of all, it took them a long time to acknowledge that the infection was from human to human. This transmission was already clearly discernible on Jan. 1, as we now know, but China did not officially announce this until Jan. 20.

German Foreign Minister Says “Mumpf Blaf Prawf”

Then, after somebody finally got him to take that stupid face mask off, he says “Berlin and Washington remain NATO partners but the U.S. relationship is now ‘complicated.’”

German

This, however, is more nonsensical than “mumpf blaf prawf” because there ain’t nothing complicated about it. You made an obligation, Germany. Many, many years ago (way long before Donald Trump came along). And you still haven’t lived up to it. Auf Wiedersehen already.

Then he praised Republican former Republican President George W. Bush and current Democratic presidential contender Joe Biden’s responses to the anti-racism protests, telling the newspaper: “This gives me hope that there are responsible voices in both camps. I really hope that the sensible ones will prevail.”

Der Außenminister absolviert ein unfassbares Tagespensum. Er mahnt, warnt, fordert, hebt auf, äußert Verständnis, erklärt sich solidarisch oder äußert sein Mitgefühl – und das praktisch ununterbrochen, manchmal mehrmals pro Stunde.

So Everybody’s Happy, Right?

Germans are peace loving pacifists. They are also self-proclaimed Schmarotzer who refuse to live up their defense obligations.

Troups

So everyone here must be thrilled about Donald Trump now making good on his threat to withdraw roughly a third of the US troops stationed in Germany.

Oddly, some Germans find it ‘Regrettable’: Germany reacts to Trump plan to withdraw US troops Reduction of 9,500 personnel criticised by the German right and welcomed by the left. They’ll get over it. The Germans always get over.

“The real danger lurks across the eastern border, so moving US troops to Nato’s eastern flank will be a security boost to all of Europe.”

German Of The Day: Überraschend

That means surprisingly.

Hiring

And you can just hear the disappointment ringing in this article’s title: Arbeitslosigkeit in den USA im Mai überraschend gesunken. That means unemployment in the USA in May sunk surprisingly.

You’ll get over it, Germany. That we’ll get over it, I mean. Now let’s see what you can do about your rising unemployment figures.

Damit haben die Experten nicht gerechnet: Die Arbeitslosenquote in den USA ist trotz der anhaltenden Folgen der Viruskrise überraschend gesunken.

Germany To Subsidize Tesla

In a bold move to help the ailing German automobile industry, the German government will be spending billions of euros on subsidies for electric cars most likely manufactured by the American electric vehicle maker Tesla Inc. (Germans don’t do electric cars).

Tesla

Germany raised the incentives to buy electric cars and cut the sales tax on more fuel-efficient internal combustion engines (ICE), but increased taxes on gas guzzling SUVs and sports cars which will hit the profits of the big auto makers.

Wumms“ für Tesla und Nel. Geldregen für Wasserstoff und E-Auto – Daimler und Co stehen im Regen.

Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.