Is This Any Way For A World President To Act?

February 3, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Biden, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Leadership, Obama, Weakness 3 Comments

I mean lead.

Obama, the Nobel Peace Prize laureate, didn’t focus on creating a better world in his speech. Instead, he talked about a better America, one with more opportunities for immigrants, more rights for homosexuals and less social inequality. Today’s America is deeply divided, but all sides agree on one point: America’s well-being is more important than the world’s.

Hey, leading from behind ain’t what it used to be. Wait a second. Yes it is.

Europe isn’t in a position to provide decisive leadership. And the US doesn’t want to anymore.

German Military To Acquire Armed Drones They Will Never Use

February 1, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, Drones, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Politics, Satire, Technology, War, Warfare 1 Comment

Germany’s military is planning to acquire armed drones which they will never use in a zillion years its Defense Minister said on Friday, reigniting a heated debate in Germany over the ethics of not using such aircraft.

The drones would protect German soldiers in dangerous situations, if we would ever use them that is, which of course we wouldn’t, as German soldiers are never put in dangerous situations in the first place, Thomas de Maiziere told the German government’s YouTube channel in an interview.

Critics of such German drone non-strikes argue that they would end up failing to kill high numbers of innocent civilians and that they would frequently not be launched across sovereign states’ borders – far more frequently than conventional attacks by piloted German aircraft that are never ever launched from anywhere to anyplace, either.

Prior to the official announcement, German opposition lawmakers had already condemned the pointless purchase of the useless, lame-ass, purposeless armed drones, with the head of the Greens parliamentary group Juergen Trittin saying that they could lower the threshold for German military non-engagement even lower than it already is.

“We have a gap in our capabilities which we want to close.”

Morsi Arrives In Berlin To Mark The Eightieth Anniversary Of Hitler’s Rise To Power

January 30, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Dictatorships, Egypt, German, Germans, Germany, Hitler, Humor, Morsi, Satire Leave a comment

Or at least that’s what I assume he’s here for.

“We have seen worrying images in recent days, images of violence and destruction.”

Heino Schlägt Zurück!

January 25, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Folk Music, German, Germans, Germany, Heino, Humor, Music, Rammstein, Satire, Volksmusik 8 Comments

Heino (himself), the avenging angel of German Volksmusik, retaliates.

Tired of being verarscht (spoofed) by everybody else in the German music industry (and just about everywhere else, for that matter), he has now begun a winter offensive by offending bands like Rammstein and Die Ärzte. By covering their songs, I mean.

They clearly never saw it coming. And word is they don’t like it. The Spießer (bourgeois squares).

Der Schlagerbarde singt die Lieder derer, die ihn bisher so gern verhöhnten. Aber wehren können sie sich dagegen nicht.

We Don’t Do Dirty Work

January 22, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bundeswehr, Foreign Policy, France, German, Germans, Germany, Islamic Terrorists, Mali, Responsibility, Terror Leave a comment

Yet again (this time not in Mali).

German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle: “The deployment of German combat troops is not an option. And I have to mention just one more point. We Germans are highly involved in Afghanistan, where the French are hardly involved at all.”

The French are not alone in their criticism of Berlin. Political leaders in the US and Britain also find it aggravating that Germany presents itself as a peace-loving power and leaves all the dirty work to the others. Mistrust of Berlin has been especially strong since the German government abstained in the United Nations vote over the Libya intervention two years ago — the only Western country on the Security Council not to support the measure — and refused to provide its NATO allies with military aid. “As is usually the case these days, Germany … is keeping its head down,” wrote the British daily Guardian last week. Westerwelle’s “mealy-mouthed statements leave a bad taste,” commented the newspaper.

“We never explain what we want to achieve, we always talk about how we can stay out of things.”

A Boy Named Sue

January 21, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Airports, BBI, BER, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jungle Camp, Klaus Wowereit, Olivia Jones, RTL, Satire, Transvestites, Trash TV, TV 1 Comment

As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.

Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.

„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“

No Contradiction Here

January 21, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic power, Bürgschaften, Energy, Exports, Finance, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Loans, Nuclear power, The Energy Turnaround Leave a comment

Just move along, folks. Nothing to look at here.

While German dedication to saving the German environment by ridding the country of nuclear power is in full swing (sort of), the German government has absolutely no problem using public money to guarantee the construction of nuclear power plants in other countries at the same time.

It’s not a contradiction really, though. Honest. Environment Minister Peter Almaier’s current ministry slogan is “high time that something changed” and they are even trying to set up an international club of countries who have done/will do away with nuclear energy. And that’s the main thing. So something has changed, sort of. The countries Germany is helping to build atomic energy programs for just won’t be allowed to join their club, that’s all.

“It is a gross contradiction, that we are pushing forwards with the change in energy generation while supporting atomic energy abroad.”

“Laser”

January 14, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Defense, Dr. Evil, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Lasers, Satire, Technology, Weapon exports, Weapons Leave a comment

Dr. Evil: [about his new “laser“] You see, I’ve turned the moon into what I like to call a “Death Star”. [Scott snickers]

German defense firm Rheinmetall Defense used a new high-energy laser weapons system to shoot fast-moving drones at a distance. The system, which uses two laser weapons, was also used to cut through a steel girder a kilometer away.

All I can say is thank goodness this technology is in German hands. That way it will only be used for peaceful purposes. You know, like making money, and stuff like that.

ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

From Myth To Monster In 2.5 Seconds

January 11, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: Acting, Actors, Film, German, Germans, Germany, Incest, Klaus Kinski, Megalomania, Movies, Sexual Abuse, Werner Herzog Leave a comment

The sexual abuse claims levelled against Klaus Kinski by his daughter Pola make it clear that cinema fans have deified a monster.

I’m disappointed, to say the least. But sadly, it somehow seems to fit.

Megalomania is a psychopathological disorder characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance, or omnipotence.

Germans Stingy With Their Organs Too

January 9, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Corruption, Doctors, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jokes, Medicine, Organ Donations, Organ Donor, Satire Leave a comment

Even after they’re dead, I mean.

Organ donations have dropped sharply in Germany following a scandal over alleged corruption at several transplant clinics. The German Foundation for Organ Transplantation says the number of organs donated fell almost 13 percent to 3,917 last year, the lowest figure in a decade.

Which reminds me of a joke…

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.

The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use.

One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident.

The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane.

The third is a hospital administrator who just died after 30 years of service at a large medical center.”

“I’ll take the administrator’s heart,” said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. “It was easy,” the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hypocrisy