German Budget Surplus Offers German Politicians Further Ways Not To Spend It
The dramatic growth in Germany’s public sector surplus over the first half means the government has extra room for manoeuvre, Finance Minister Olaf Scholz said on Friday after data was released showing the surplus at a record high.
“I’ll be looking into as many ways as possible not to spend any of it,” he said. Or could have said. And this is social democrat, too. This savings mania is a German thang.
And saving money is generally a very sound idea, I understand that. But how about considering giving that surplus back to the people you took it from in the first place? I’m just saying.
Der FDP-Politiker Dürr verlangte angesichts der hohen Überschüsse, den Solidaritätszuschlag abzuschaffen. Auch der Bund der Steuerzahler forderte eine Entlastung der Bürger.
Next Time You Go Undercover Tell Them You’re A Cop First
And behave with a little more dignity while taking part in violent demonstrations, will you?
The German justice minister (SPD) is upset that an undercover cop who had infiltrated the Pegida movement in Saxony was doing such a good job at being a right-wing prick that he hassled a camera man from the state broadcaster ZDF and caused uniformed cops to demand the camera man’s papers, preventing him and his other journalist buddies from doing their work.
Sheesh. Can’t anybody take a joke these days? Ain’t no big deal. I think I saw Laurel and Hardy do this once.
“What happened in Saxony is deeply worrying and needs to be urgently and comprehensively investigated.”
PS: They should have seen right off that he was an undercover cop because of that big pixel thingy on his face. Dumb ass journalists.
Tourists Can’t Destroy Berlin
“How Tourists Are Destroying the Places They Love,” a recent Spiegel article title goes. Well, if they love Berlin they’re in for a way big disappointment. Everything here is already kaputt.
Nothing like putting a refreshing, positive German spin on things, I always say. Go Spiegel! And I guarantee you: The average Spiegel employee goes on vacation three times a year.
Predatory Modern Tourism…
The travel industry has begun recognizing that its own success is increasingly undermining the foundation of its business model. “Overtourism” is the buzzword currently dominating industry conferences. Discussions are taking place about how tourist flows can be directed such that they will no longer be perceived as a threat.
“Tourist Go Home!”
Must Be The Heat
Modern German war machines aren’t made for it, if you know what I mean.
German army shows off ailing NATO helicopter – German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen is touring the ranks of the Bundeswehr this summer. But some of the military hardware she is admiring, like the NH90 helicopter, has seen more ground time than flight time.
Mismanagement or routine problems?
Can’t be mismanagement because Frau von der Leyen is Miss Management herself. She has been the Bundeswehr boss for ages now and would never allow this type of thing to happen even though it clearly is happening (a man would have been fired long ago). Besides, she’s one of Chancellor Merkel’s very top girls in the Chancellor Merkel girl group. They’re called The Untouchables.
“We can say that the NH90 has proved its worth.”
How State TV Works
When it comes to the news. Pretty much as you imagine it would. It’s kind of like CNN, only you have to support it with your tax euros whether you want to or not. And there is even less accountability, believe it or not.
Take a recent murder case in Offenburg, for instance. Please. In what appears to be an unprovoked attack, a Somali migrant is reported to have stormed into a family doctor’s surgery area and stabbed the doctor to death. The man then attacked and wounded a medical assistant before fleeing the scene, where a knife was found by police.
Although clearly of great public interest – it was everywhere else in the papers – Germany’s Tagesschau news program chose not to even mention it. The program’s editor-in-chief doesn’t seem all too concerned about the harsh public cirticism that followed this omission, however. Why should he? It’s not like he can be held accountable or be fired for anything. And the show must go on.
“Wir berichten in der “Tagesschau” über Dinge von gesellschaftlicher, nationaler oder internationaler Relevanz.”
And What About The Illegal Aliens From Outer Space?
World famous for opening their borders to illegal aliens from anywhere and everywhere else in this world, German Green politicians were recently stunned to discover that their government has failed to adequately prepare for the possible arrival of illegal aliens from other worlds.
“So how do you organize a welcome party for an alien race?” asked a flustered CDU politician during intense questioning. “You planet!” the Greens shouted back.
The German government says it has made no preparations for the possibility that aliens might land in the European country.
In a response to questions from opposition Green Party lawmaker Dieter Janecek, the government said “there are no protocols or plans for a possible first contact with alien life.”
“A first contact on German territory is extremely unlikely, based on today’s scientific knowledge.”
Chetrin S.
The Next Level Of Degradation Has Been Reached
Starting next year, Miss Germany contestents will no longer be allowed to wear bikinis. They’re going to march them out there completely naked, I guess.
No, wait. It’s even worse than I thought! Instead of bikinis they’re only going to let them wear something called “Sommer-Outfits.” How awful. Awful sounding, I mean. I don’t know what a summer outfit is but I doubt if it tops a bikini.
When is this madness ever going to end? Just because the Miss Germany political correctors suddenly “want to emphasize the personality of Miss Germany” (and blindly follow whatever American political correctors do) doesn’t mean they have the right to spoil the fun for all the young women taking part. And who says their personalities are anybody else’s business anyway? Ever hear of data security? I’m going to “set a signal” and boycott this year’s show.
Auch die “Miss America” in den USA wird inzwischen ohne eine solche Runde gewählt. Das habe mit der Entscheidung des deutschen Pendants jedoch “absolut gar nichts” zu tun.
German Of The Day: Ordnung Muss Sein
That means order must prevail. And prevail it does in Germany, sort of.
This stuff just keeps getting weirder. The recent deportation of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguard and suspected jihadist Sami A. to Tunesia has now been ruled illegal because a last minute fax blocking the decision to deport him was received only after the plane carrying him off to Tunesia had already taken off and this led a higher German court to now order him to be brought back to Germany where he will eventually be deported back to Tunesia again but only after this orderly German deportation process has been carried out in a thoroughly orderly German fashion. I feel like I’m in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest here sometimes, people.
A higher court in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia has ordered the city of Bochum to bring back Sami A., a suspected former bodyguard for Osama bin Laden, who was deported to his native Tunisia last month.
Bochum can appeal the decision in Germany’s top constitutional court in Karlsruhe. But an appeal is not likely to delay the return of the suspect.
Maybe the Tunisians might come through here, though. They are bound to be a little more advanced in matters of jurisprudence.
“The process here in Tunisia is still ongoing, so he has no ID to travel with.”
Observing Hermann 