Welcome To The Hotel Kalimera

June 18, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Currency, Drachma, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Tourism, Tourists Leave a comment

You can checkout any time you like. But you can never leave.

Are German tourists still welcome in crisis-battered Greece? “Definitely!” insists the travel board of Europe’s top economy, which nevertheless issued a few words of caution Thursday.

Protracted talks on Greece’s debt crisis may have driven up tensions with Europe’s paymaster Germany but visitors can still count on a warm reception, the German Travel Association (DRV) said.

But what if Greece should default on its loans, exit the eurozone and reintroduce the drachma? Fear not, the DRV said. “There would only be a limited impact on holidaymakers, particularly those on package tours. Flights, hotel stays and bus transfers are bought and covered by contracts.”

Russian And Chinese Intelligence Services Now Big Edward Snowden Fans, Too

June 14, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Agents, China, Eavesdropping, Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Intelligence Agencies, Russia, Treachery, Treason 2 Comments

It’s not just the Germans who worship the very ground this guy whistleblows on. The Russian and Chinese spy communities are really thrilled with him, too. Particularly when it comes to the secret information they have now been able to access by breaking into the encrypted files held by the heroic American turncoat.

“Snowden has done incalculable damage,” one British intelligence source has just reported. “In some cases the agencies have been forced to intervene and lift their agents from operations to prevent them from being identified and killed.”

Russland und China sollen streng geheime Dokumente des früheren US-Geheimdienstmitarbeiters und Whistleblowers Edward Snowden entschlüsselt haben.

Know Your Friends

June 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Military, NATO, Polls, Russia, Studies, Ukraine 2 Comments

You know, like you know your enemies? But with friends like this…

According to a Pew Research Center study, only 38 percent of Germans would want to help a NATO country if it were to be attacked by Russia. Far more than half of those asked would be against it. So much for NATO’s Article 5.

Das ist im Vergleich mit anderen Nato-Ländern die größte Ablehnung militärischer Hilfe nach Artikel 5 des Nato-Vertrags, der im Angriffsfall die gemeinsame Verteidigung vorsieht. In Italien (51 Prozent), Frankreich (53) und Spanien (47) sind die Werte der Umfrage zufolge etwas niedriger, während in Polen und Großbritannien fast die Hälfte der Befragten für eine militärische Unterstützung wäre.

This Is Like Work Or Something

June 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Clowns, Demonstration, Demonstrators, Elmau, G7, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Protestors, Satire Leave a comment

Exhausted from all of the political activism activity anti-G7 political activists have been expected to do already, bone-weary protestors are now leaving the G7 conference in droves before someone asks them to get even more politically active than they already have been.

“Like, I had to sit-in for over two full hours yesterday and hold up this stupid sign the whole time, too,” said one disillusioned demonstrator, his red cardboard nose still being sweat upon profusely. “OK, sure, after having slept-in twelve hours after that party the night before first, but still. If I had known this was going to be work I would never have left Berlin to come down here in the first place. These are like Manchester capitalist sweatshop demonstrating conditions! I’m outta here.”

“You know, all of this, it’s exhausting.”

I Got Your FIFA For You Right Here

June 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: 2006 World Cup, Blatter, Corruption, FIFA, Football, Gerhard Schröder, German, Germans, Germany, Soccer, Sports 1 Comment

The German government sent a shipment of rocket-propelled grenades to Saudi Arabia in order to secure support for their bid to host the 2006 World Cup, according to the latest sensational claims in the FIFA scandal.

German newspaper Die Zeit say the country’s Football Association arranged for then Chancellor Gerhard Schroder’s administration to supply the arms in order to swing the Saudi vote from Morocco to Germany ahead of the vote in 2000.

Die Regierung von Gerhard Schröder beschloss eine Woche vor der WM-Vergabe die Lieferung von Panzerfäusten an Saudi-Arabien. Deutschland habe “kurzfristig das Waffenembargo aufgehoben”, sagte Guido Tognoni, damals Fifa-Mitarbeiter, später.

Redistribution Is Da Solution (Again)

June 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Builders, Germans, Germany, Government Control, Housing, Interventionism, Landlords, Regulation, Rent Control, Renters 6 Comments

The next step backwards: Berlin has a new law prohibiting landlords from demanding rents that are more than 10 percent higher than the area average, in an attempt to keep housing affordable in a city that’s attracting 50,000 new residents a year. The rule relies on a disputed index — known as the Mietspiegel — that critics say is a statistical crapshoot.

“The rent brake is essentially a transfer of wealth from landlords to tenants. Berlin will become less of a destination for international investors because capital doesn’t like to be constrained.”

Meet The New Level Of Contempt

June 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Gerhard Schroeder, German, Germans, Germany, SPD 3 Comments

Same as the old level of contempt. This guy means well with his article and all, I guess, but he’s way off base if he thinks that Germany’s current level of anti-Americanism has only now “become a fungible (freely exchangeable or replaceable) aspect of German politics” all of a sudden. It’s never been any different here.

The only thing really new might be the “deep institutionalization” of it, as former US ambassador to Germany, John Kornblum, put it. And that began with the German Social Democrat chancellor Gerhard Schröder “who combined a refusal to send German troops to Iraq with a promise of Germany’s ’emancipation’ from America” and who cashed in big time on that with his reelection.

But it ain’t no big deal. That’s just the way the world works, folks. And it’s not that the Germans take this stuff in with their mother’s milk. It’s more like they’re fish when it comes to their anti-Americanism. I mean, does a fish even know that it’s swimming in water?

“Anti-Americanism today is a cheap means to a new German nationalism with a good conscience.”

PS (my progressive American types): Have you noticed here that it doesn’t matter even when you have HIM HIMSELF (The World President) as president? Is the light starting to go on yet?

Paternoster Suddenly Too Dangerous For Human Use

June 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: Elevators, German, Germans, Germany, Government Control, Paternoster, Regulation, Social Democrats 2 Comments

Says the SPD. Even though they’ve been in use for decades here.

More nanny state nonsense from Nanny Nahles.

“I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

Bundeswehr To Become Even More Effeminate

May 31, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Hotness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Armies, Bundeswehr, Combat, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, Quotas, Satire, Ursula von der Leyen, Women Leave a comment

Who would have thought that? Only eleven percent of German troops are currently women. This must change, of course.

German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen, herself one of the eleven percent, has decided that in the medium-term, the percentage of women currently not doing anything that other soldiers in other armies do (some call it combat) must be increased to 20 percent.

The reason behind this appears to be that by effectively reducing the combat strength of an army, this will effectively increase the combat strength of an army. Not your own army or anything, but still.

The inglorious Bundeswehr: The German army was never meant to function on its own. Now it barely functions at all.

Elf Prozent der Truppe ist derzeit weiblich. Verteidigungsministerin Ursula von der Leyen will diesen Wert verbessern und ruft ein neues Ziel aus: “Auf mittlere Sicht” soll der Frauenanteil auf 20 Prozent steigen.

We’re Number One!

May 29, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Birth Rates, Demographics, Employment, German, Germans, Germany, Jobs, Statistics, Studies Leave a comment

When it comes to not having children.

A new study has determined that Germany not only has the lowest birth rate in Europe, it has the lowest birth rate on Planet Earth itself. In the past five years Germany has managed to produce a less than whopping 8.3 children per 1000 inhabitants. That edges the country past the previous Japanese champions who apparently couldn’t keep their hands off each other during the same period and now squeeze out some 8.4 children per 1000 inhabitants.

But what’s this with these .3 and .4 kids, gals?

Meanwhile, in an unrelated story… Another study indicates that Germany will face a massive labor deficit by the year 2030. In a mere 15 years, that is, between 6.1 and 7.8 million workers will be missing in the country.

And it could get worse. Large sections of the German population just disappear out of nowhere here from time to time, too.

Danach wurden in den vergangenen fünf Jahren im Durchschnitt 8,3 Kinder je 1000 Einwohner geboren. Das liegt unter dem Niveau des bisherigen Schlusslichts Japan von 8,4 Kindern je 1000 Einwohner.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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