German Of The Day: Die Befriedigung Voyeuristischer Bedürfnisse

February 13, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Hurt Feelings Tags: Big Brother, German, Germans, Germany, Heidi Klum, Language, Mars, Mars One, Reality TV, Space Travel, TV Leave a comment

That means the satisfaction of voyeuristic needs. And that is not, this guy here below repeats, NOT what his possible participation in the upcoming reality-show-media-spectacle “Mars One” on RTL is going to be about.

Well not for him, perhaps. He says he just wants to make the world a better place. On Mars (he’s young – and has an SPD party membership book). And of the 200,000 people who have applied to take part in this cosmic kamikaze picnic he has made it all the way up to the last 660 future contestants batch. You know, he’s still being casted like they do on Germany’s Next Topmodel by Heidi Klum? His mom must be really proud.

You see, the planned “Mars One” mission will need lots and lots of dough to properly sponsor, I mean send their crews to their deaths and that’s why the TV rights have already been sold to the Dutch production firm Endemol, the same folks who bring us, I mean you, shows like Big Brother. So I guess we know where this is going – other than to Mars, I mean – but it has nothing whatsoever to do with the satisfaction of voyeuristic needs, to come full circle again already. No, it clearly doesn’t. It’s just about a simple suicide mission to Mars. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hey, I’m all for the exploration of Mars. But a one-way ticket there for human beings in reality show format is, well, as one guy in the article rightly points out, “ethically questionable” to say the least.

Es geht nicht um die Befriedigung voyeuristischer Bedürfnisse.

The Connection Has Timed Out

February 12, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bombings, Communist Propaganda, Dresden, German, Germans, Germany, Nazi Propaganda, Propaganda, WWII Leave a comment

Here’s a German article I read earlier this afternoon entitled: 70 Years after the Dresden Bombing – “The myth began while the ruins were still burning.”

Strange that it won’t open right now. Strange because, well, this German researcher who was interviewed in it says, in essence, that what most of us associate with the bombing of Dresden is actually nazi propaganda that was then also instrumentalized by the communists during the Cold War.

Yes, the killing of 25,000 people was a terrible thing. He then points out that 35,000 died in Hamburg (he forgot to mention the 40,000 in London), however. He also points out that the allied attack was an attack on a military target and not one of vengeance, as opposed to what we are all supposed to believe. The Dresden bombing is just another great myth that no one can properly approach here, in other words, nazi/communist propaganda that we are still hearing to this very day.

An interesting point of view but clearly one that some people out there don’t want us to hear, I mean read. Eerie, don’t you think? Try again later at: http://www.sueddeutsche.de/politik/jahre-bombardierung-von-dresden-der-mythos-entstand-noch-in-den-rauchenden-truemmern-1.2347466

The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy.

Let The Campaign Begin

February 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: 1936 Olympics, 2024 Olympics, Berlin, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Metronaut, Nazi Germany, Nazis Leave a comment

Berlin officials have reacted angrily to a series of fake, Nazi-style ads purporting to be part of the German capital’s campaign for the 2024 Olympics.

The spoof ads appeared last week on a satirical blog called Metronaut. Several of the ads were based on actual posters from the 1936 Berlin Olympics, which Adolf Hitler used to showcase Nazi Germany to the world.

City officials issued demands via lawyers on Monday to remove their logo and names from the ads.

Metronaut’s co-founder, John F. Nebel, says the ads were meant to spark a discussion about the darkest chapter in Berlin’s history.

German Of The Day: Scherzkeks

February 6, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, Berlin, Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Humor, Language, Security, Tegel Airport Leave a comment

A “joke cookie” here is what we call a wisecracker. You know, a jokester? Take this jokester here at Tegel Airport today (this guy really kills me).

He’s getting ready to board his flight with his girlfriend for their vacation in Florida, right? So they’re having a look at his carry-on bag and he says – now get this – “There’s a bomb inside.” Funny. As. Scheiße! Don’t you think? And original, too. But the real punch line part only comes around a little later: He wasn’t allowed to take that flight, screws up his vacation, impresses his girlfriend big-time forever and then gets charged with another cool German word: Ordnungswidrigkeit (an administrative offense or infraction)! Hardy, har, har. Brilliant joke cookie stuff who needs the crackers?

Some people are just more funny than other people are, I’ve found. Evolution wants it that way or something.

Like this guy’s uncle here earlier in the week (I’m assuming of course it just has to be this guy’s uncle). He walked in through security control at Tegel with a revolver and 43 rounds of ammunition in his carry-on bag because – now get this – he didn’t know it was in there! Ha, ha. Apparently the bag had been given to him when his father died and he had never bothered to look inside before and just grabbed the thing at random when he needed a bag for his flight. Hilarious stuff.

But how on earth do they manage to think any of this up?

“Dieser sensible Sicherheitsbereich ist einfach kein Ort für schlechte Scherze.”

German-Americans So Well-Integrated They Make Other Americans Sick

February 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, History, Home Cooking Tags: Ethnic Groups, German-Americans, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, Satire, United States 3 Comments

I mean, like what’s the point of coming to this country if you don’t even try to bore everybody with stories about your ethnic roots all the time? That’s totally un-American misbehavior, if you ask me. But German-Americans are that way. They’re different. They’re kind of like German-Germans, if you know what I’m saying. They’re tricky.

German-Americans are America’s largest single ethnic group (if you divide Hispanics into Mexican-Americans, Cuban-Americans, etc). In 2013, according to the Census bureau, 46m Americans claimed German ancestry: more than the number who traced their roots to Ireland (33m) or England (25m). In whole swathes of the northern United States, German-Americans outnumber any other group (see map). Some 41% of the people in Wisconsin are of Teutonic stock.

Yet despite their numbers, they are barely visible. Everyone knows that Michael Dukakis is Greek-American, the Kennedy clan hail from Ireland and Mario Cuomo was an Italian-American. Fewer notice that John Boehner, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, and Rand Paul, a senator from Kentucky with presidential ambitions, are of German origin.

Muslim Preacher Dude Finally Starts Making Some Sense

February 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Extremism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Marriage, Religion, Satire, Sex, Terror, Terrorists, Wives 2 Comments

Otherwise known for his extremist views, Berlin Imam Sheikh Abdel Moez al-Eila has proclaimed that a wife should be confined to her husband’s home and should never refuse him sex.

Now he didn’t explicitly say that it had to be really good sex, too but some things kind of go without saying. Now that’s what I call old-time religion.

Claiming that when he first married his wife, she was “pretty and slim” and that she “used to say nice things to him,” al-Eila bemoans that he has been left with a “fat” wife with a “gloomy face.”

If a man is tempted by another woman who “arouses” him in the street, al-Eila claims that the Prophet Muhammad had the remedy when he apparently said that the man “…should go home quickly and have sex with his wife and Allah will immediately remove the urge from his heart.”

The Next Thing You Know They’ll Be Selling These On Ebay

February 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Coal, Electricity, Energy, German, Germans, Germany, Power, Power Plants, Renewable energy, Utilities Leave a comment

Germany’s utilities, battered by the country’s shift to wind turbines and solar panels, would be glad to sell you a power plant on the cheap. They’ll even pack it up and ship it to another country.

The two largest power producers, RWE AG and EON SE, are especially keen to sell their gas-fired plants, rendered uncompetitive by the rise of renewable energy on the one hand and record low coal prices on the other. It’s a relatively easy task to take them apart, move them by truck and ship and reassemble them elsewhere.

“There is a liquid global market for gas turbines. Transport costs are entirely marginal.”

Reproduction Regulators Recommend Rigorous Reform

February 1, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Child Benefits, Children, Demographics, Families, German, Germans, Germany, Kindergeld, Population, State Control, State Spending, Taxation, Traditions 5 Comments

The logic appears to go like this: Germans will only have children if they are paid by the state to do so.

That this money must first be taken from them by the state to only later be given back to them if they behave properly (improperly?) is the first oddity here but not really the issue at the moment – or at least not the one German politicians want to talk about. The problem now is that Germans aren’t having enough children (only 12% of families with children here have 3 or more). They are not following the German reproduction regulation logic like they are supposed to and are refusing to have large families despite regular increases to the child benefit or Kindergeld payments given here.

In an attempt to counteract what is now the German one-child-per-family-if-they-have-any-children-at-all tradition, some reproduction regulators are suggesting that families now be given higher payments for each successive child born. I’m sure this will work just great. Well, I’m kind of sure it might work maybe, I mean.

Of course more money will first have to be taken in from the Germans before some of it can be given back to some of them again but that’s never bothered legislators here before so why break with a tradition like that now?

“Die wirtschaftliche Situation von Familien verbessert sich trotz der staatlichen Unterstützung im Durchschnitt nicht.”

15 Cool German Illnesses You Can Only Get Here

January 29, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria Tags: Arika Okrent, Disease Mongering, German, Germans, Germany, Hypochondria, Language, Sicknesses 5 Comments

Mostly because 1) you probably can’t pronounce them and 2) they don’t really exist.

Germans aren’t hypochondriacs, by the way. They’re Hypochonder.

14. ZIVILISATIONSKRANKHEIT

Zivilisationskrankheit, or “civilization sickness” is a problem caused by living in the modern world. Stress, obesity, eating disorders, carpal tunnel syndrome and diseases like type 2 diabetes are all examples.

Russian Propaganda? What Russian Propaganda?

January 28, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Annexaion, Crimea, DDR, Disinformation, GDR, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Media, Propaganda, Putin, Russia, Ukraine 4 Comments

The speaker of the Russian Duma has asked a parliamentary committee to study a proposal to condemn the reunification of Germany in 1990.

Sergei Naryshkin earlier this week faced scathing criticism of Russia’s annexation of Crimean peninsula when he spoke at the Parliament Assembly of Europe.

Russian news agencies say Communist deputy Nikolai Ivanov on Wednesday proposed a resolution to condemn what he called the “annexation” of East Germany in 1990. Ivanov said that unlike in Crimea, there was no popular vote to support the German reunification.

…Deutsche Welle, an international television and radio broadcaster akin to the British Broadcasting Corp.’s World Service, plans to launch a new multimedia English-language service called DWNews in April. Deutsche Welle President Peter Limbourg has said the new service is designed to “defy [Russian President Vladimir] Putin ’s propaganda.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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